Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

I wish I had the balls for that, but I’m definitely not that confrontational! And I was kind of stunned someone would ask that so was a bit lost for words.

(And for god’s sake, yes it’s real, I’m not some weirdo who has nothing else to be doing with her life than making things up on MN!)

You can't dictate who sits where

I would have just said, ‘I’m moving to a different seat’ rather than feel like I had to give her a reason.

Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

I am surprised that you were the ONLY one given how horrific you have described the smell and the fact 45 mins until next stop

She thought you were fat shaming her. Not about her BO.

I’m in Ireland… travelling by train along the west coast is challenging to say the least!!!

YANBU. Not like she can chase you, is it? Sit on you maybe.... or eat you.... I hate situations like this. I feel for you.

Huh?

That poster is stating where they want to sit
not dictating anything

so?
it is just an excuse op could have made when questioned by the mad passenger

ODFOD

I think I would just have said “it’s up to me where I sit, not you”.

People can’t police where you sit or force you to sit opposite them!

Honestly she sounds like she was looking for a reason to be offended. You can move seat for any reason, I would maybe have pretended a friend was on the same train so you were going to find them but she isn’t owed a reason.

I would have done the same. I can’t stand bad smells and I doubt anyone would have thought you were moving away simply because she was fat as that’s a bit ridiculous. Hopefully spraying the perfume was an obvious hint but she just wanted to make out you were ‘fatist’ to save her embarrassment.

Well I mentioned her weight because 1) if a more average sized person sat in front of me hugging and puffing like that I would have been really concerned and asked if she needed help, if she was having some sort of attack or something, but it was obvious it was weight related breathlessness. 2) Gave the whole story of what happened to show I’d smiled when she joined me, had already put up with really heavy panting on me, dribbling on a shared table and that I am not a ‘body shaming bitch’ as I was accused of being.

Anyone can be breathless, anyone can smell, people can behave badly on a train and you are entitled to move any time you like. It might be that the woman in question has had problems with "fat shaming" before hence her comments, but she was just projecting her issues onto you.

You did nothing wrong, just a grim experience. In future have some of these good comebacks up your sleeve if you need to move seats - for any reason whatsoever.

See… hindsight and MN is great, wish I could have thought of some of these suggestions in the moment. That’s the perfect excuse

Are you still on the train?

They are because they woman accused her of body shaming or not liking fat people or whatever so it was relevant to know that the woman was heavy

"Dribbling on a shared table" - I wonder if she was actually a Saint Bernard, shape shifting as an overweight human female. 🤔 Yes, I am bored.

Should have just unfortunately your lack of hygiene is too much for my nose, I tried to save your feels but you pushed it, so I’m being truthful, BO is antisocial.

Have moved now to another connecting train. 3 trains total to get home from where I was today.

I would have moved for the heavy breathing alone!