To dislike my husband masturbating in bed?

[justabigdisco]

I was woken last night by the bed shaking and my husband heavy breathing. I asked him WTF he was doing and he said ‘just trying to get comfy in bed’ however it was clear he was wanking next to me while I slept. There have been other episodes where I’ve been woken up and thought ‘is he…?’ but never been sure until last night.

I haven’t said anything to him yet but have been thinking about it all day. He has a higher sex drive than me and I know this frustrates him, but AIBU to find it a bit gross and disrespectful?

I'd find it a turn on tbh and want to join in

Yeah it was a mistype rather than a juicy secret 😂

I find this quite interesting. Me and my partner have a healthy sex life. If I choose to masturbate, it is because I want to orgasm through mastirbation, and my partner joining me would totally ruin it. That being said, i would not mastirbate next to my partner unless it was supposed to be a joint sexy thing, but then it wouldn't be masturbation.

I’d find it rather arousing.

Well considering he is doing it whilst he thinks she is asleep, he obviously doesn’t want her involved. So if that’s the case he can take a few steps to the bathroom. It’s called respect.

I don't see how this would work. One, it seems to risk waking you up, and so I'd think that unless there's previous agreement he'd go into an another room to do this as he would to, say, make a phone call or play video games or watch TV. And two, unless he's VERY handy (no pun intended), he runs the risk of getting spooze on the sheets, which he cannot change whilst you're asleep and so will have to marinate in until morning.

I wouldn’t like it. Like people already said, he’s doing something sexual next to you in bed, he should have your consent!
I’d tell him to sort himself out while he’s having a shower.

Yuk! You make good points in your response! OP doesn’t say if he goes out to clean himself up and what he does with the (ahem) jiz…

When you have sex, do you immediately jump up and change the sheets?

This was in response to @freerangethighs- sorry, still working out how this works!

What did he do with the ejaculate? Not judging, just curious.

We use condoms, but also get up to use toilet, wash hands etc.

Presumably you’ve all had sex with your husbands? Really don’t understand the “grim” or “disgusting “ comments. Just bizarre.

I would however be pissed off at anyone waking me up!

That’s pretty unpleasant.

Nailed it.

I've had that conversation with my husband. He goes downstairs now if I'm already sleeping. Nobody needs the jiggling 😂

People are talking as if the guy will explode without a tommy tanking session. Ridiculous.

Why are the only two options him waking you up in the middle of the night with his boner or him wanking next to you? Like you need to pick lesser from two evils.

Or saying to join him. On the one hand think defence for him is "he thought you were asleep" so wouldn't this indicate that he wants to do it by himself and not want anyone to join him?

Being in bed is relatively private it, isn't as if he was in the garden with the neighbours watching

Masturbating is not disgusting.

As an aside am I the only one wondering how enthusiastically he was going at it for the bed to shake and wake his dp up?!

I’m assuming, cleans it up the same way we do after sex, towels or the boxers he just took off. This then gets thrown in the washing basket.

He can just respect his wife and not be a manky prick and piss off and do it somewhere else.

But what is manky? There are bodily fluid when they have sex.

They're not having sex. He's wanking beside his sleeping wife. You have incredibly low standards.

Call 999! 🙄

I do not have low standards- I just have no issues if my husband fancied a wank in bed. I am partial to a morning wank before I get out of bed so it would be very hypocritical of me to mind my husband doing the same. I would also find it a turn on if I woke up to him wanking as he does with me. Depending on each others mood it can either lead to the other person going back to sleep or some sleepy sexy time which I love.

But the OP does have an issue so she needs to communicate with her husband to what they each are happy with. But it is disingenuous to say it is grim and manky to have a wank and that any woman ok with it has low standards.