Pressured into having a baby by older partner

[courtneyk92]

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

Ditch the fucker,

Run fast and far. He's technically raping you.

Run.

Jesus. He's awful.

Raise your standards!

this is absolutely a deal breaker @courtneyk92

Do not be pressurised. Tell him straight then whatever the outcome is, so be it.

Yes run far away.

This is really sinister, and illegal. You need to move out, it sounds like he’s got a breeding fetish.

He’s trying to trap you.

Taking a condom off during sex is rape. You need to leave.

Yes leave him! Why on earth did you move in together?

For now if you don’t feel safe to leave, get an IUD inserted. Doing that can also be emergency contraception if done at the right time.

This. Then the bad, controlling behaviour will start. Run! Red flags all over this one.

I read your other thread about your Universal Credit compliance interview.
Have you told them he’s moved in?

He sounds intense and unsafe and i would leave.

Any advice? Run. Get TF out of this situation, he is controlling, scary, odd, and defo not someone to have a child with. Seriously, leave now! Plus, if he is removing the condom and continuing without your agreement he is technically raping you, you do realise this?

Break up? You want different things.

Stop having sex with this man if he is purposely taking the condom off causing you to take the morning after pill, if he is taking the condom off during sex without you realising and consenting then this is called stealthing and is classed as rape

Leave as soon as possible. He sounds deranged and controlling.

Run for the hills

Run the moment you are pregnant this will change so much for the worse and you will be trapped

You already have 2 kids OP.
Nobody should be pressurised into having a baby. His actions and words are extremely worrying.
Please concentrate on yourself and your children. You don't need this man

Yes I put in on my journal in May. and changed my circumstances

@courtneyk92 it's actually a crime. You didn't consent to sex without contraception.
Get away from him.

Agree with PP he's trying to trap you and will then become abusive. Leave now.

If you cannot or will not consider that option then get a coil.

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Him wanting a baby didn't sound so bad (although shouldn't be nagging and wouldn't happening unless you also want one) until you came to the bit where he's repeatedly stealthing you by removing the condoms, which is 100% rape and illegal.

Hopefully you leave him.

But if you don't want to do that immediately, read him the riot act about never ever removing a condom again unless you've consented to it, and also get yourself an implant, iud, injection or other reliable permanent contraception.