Pressured into having a baby by older partner

[courtneyk92]

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

Surely this is a wind up , how could you possibly let someone like this live with you !’

This. So sorry, he is so abusive.

Op I’m so sorry. It sounds like it is your house. The police can help you get him out. You don’t need to tell them about the rape if you don’t want to. You can just say that you need your partner to leave and you are concerned for your safety.

Make a plan. Book a locksmith. Even if it is rented I believe you can change the locks to get a dangerous person out. Also think about what other access you may have given him to your phone or passwords and get all that changed on the same day.

If you both work you could take a day off, pack his stuff in bin bags, put it outside, get the locks changed and text him to say what you have done and that he can collect his stuff. Have a police on stand by and a friend with you if possible.

Too much too soon, especially when you have children. Please do leave OP.

Ignore any version of The Script if he trots it out. He's not going to change, he's crying for himself or just faking it, he won't kill himself, whatever bullshit trauma he has in the past isn't an excuse, he isn't only doing this because he loves you so much, it's not your fault, you haven't made him act like this...And any other reason he gives to try to stop you ending the relationship.

If he's moved in with you tell him to move out.

This is toxic for you and will impact in your kids. Just get rid.

What the actual fuck have I read!

Taking the condom off during sex is a crime. Report him. And leave.

You can't actually love this creepy fucker.

Please report to the police if you can. He is a dangerous rapist.

I'd also be concerned my children are safe around him.

Though your post about "doing me" doesn't sound like any woman I know and how she would speak.

If this is a sincere post...you re unsafe and I would fear for my children round a man with no morality too

Oh come on, this is ridiculous.

That's rape report him to the police and tell them you want him removed from the house asap. You can't have a sex offender there with your children.

Please get away from this terrible creep.

Why are you letting him around your children this is sick

This creep should not be around your children. 😒

What is it YOU want? Because that's the most important thing right now. You have to think about it from all angles. Especially if the relationship broke down how would you manage .
Have a good think about it first.

My goodness, I am speechless.

He is certainly not treating you well. He is controlling and violent.

If you are in your house, kick him out. Get someone to help you if necessary and have the locks changed.

You cannot live with this minster any more, courtney, he's not the man you thought he was. You'll be better off on your own.

Don't delay.

This, and I’ve been there
run!

That is positively creepy and him taking the condom off without you consenting constitutes rape. His other actions are equally awful. In no way is that a normal relationship.

For goodness sake, tell him you don't want another baby, and end the relationship. He has controlling stalker written all over him. Be ready to run the moment you have ended things.

@courtneyk92 please leave! This is not ok, but I really hope you will be x

I started off empathizing with him
And stopped pretty quickly as he's a rapist.

Please ditch him or at least get the coil fitted

If he moved into your house or flat then chuck him out today. If you moved into his house or into a joint place then you need to sort out a way to separate or leave urgently.
He’s a rapist. You could consider reporting him to the police. There are also charities such as Women’s Aid that you could talk to.

You can’t have someone like that around you or your children. I hope you manage to get you universal credit issue sorted too.

This is a lot for anyone to deal with, have you some friends or family you can talk to.

Agree with PP who say this is rape. Get away from this sicko!

Please do! OMG he is evil. Have you considered making a police report about being repeatedly raped?

Omg I can't believe wtf I've just read! Of course YANBU what he is doing is rape and he's trying to trap and control you by pressuring, manipulating and now trying to force a pregnancy on you. No offence @courtneyk92 but GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THIS MAN ASAP! if he's behaving like this now he will only escalate and get worse I wouldn't put it past him to sabotage your contraception.

Also I think you need to get some advice and support to handle this, please don't suffer in silence, contact Rape Crisis or Women's Aid and report him to the police. You poor thing this man is abusive and if he succeeds in getting you pregnant he will think he owns you get away now whilst nothing ties you to him for life.

No one has a right to force a pregnancy on a woman especially some scumbag cunt of a man who isn't the one putting his body through it and making all the lifestyle changes and pregnancy related health issues and is actually raping you to do that. How fucking dare he!