Pressured into having a baby by older partner

[courtneyk92]

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

This thread is fake.

Leave him. One this is a sporadic comment and another what he is doing.

I hope this is a made up post. Red flags all over it, I'd hope a mother in her 30s could see what's going on here. If it's genuine call Women's Aid and get on a domestic abuse course (and leave him of course) so you can learn to protect you and your DC from predators.

Yuk! Dump him and have some more self respect

I voted YABU because I cannot believe you are still with this man. OP run as fast as you can.

Jesus wept. Leave as soon as you can.

OPs played the long game if she trolling.

Thank you.

Leave immediately

This.

Omg op, he needs to leave TODAY. Do you have someone, friend / neighbour who can help you remove him? Change the locks

he doesnt treat you well at all. He’s controlling and raping you. Your poor kids caught up in this

If this is real - get this creep away from your children - what the fuck?! If you were a single woman I’d feel sorry for you but you’re a mother! You need to grow the fuck up and get this monster away from your poor children, you have no idea what he might be doing to them. He is a terrible human being who you can’t trust and yet you’ve moved him in with your young kids? I swear to God every day on here I think there should be some sort of psych evaluation you have to pass before you’re allowed to have children.

It's unusual for a man that age with adult children to genuinely want to start all over again with babies. It is usually something he agrees to do because his partner doesn't have any yet, or desperately wants another one. I think he's perhaps a bit insecure about the relationship with you being so much younger, and he's trying to futureproof the relationship with a baby so it's harder for you to leave.

Just tell him a flat no. Sit him down and tell him straight that there will be no more children for you and if he's that serious about wanting more then he's with the wrong woman. Don't put the discussion off or wait until you are in a situation where you feel pressured or manipulated during sex. In fact stop using condoms if you are serious about not wanting another child. Get a coil or an injection or get sterilised. If he doesn't like it, he can leave you.

I’m glad someone has reported this.

This isn’t “ treating you so well”. You know this.

My advice - ltb. He is raping you . . . Do not have a child with this man!

"He looks after me" you're a grown woman and mother ffs, he's not looking after you, he's controlling you. This doesn't sound like a healthy partnership.

It's a fake post apparently.

That doesn’t surprise me at all, some people are sick.

This is absolutely rape. Please get out of this situation, this man is scary and dangerous.

Agree.

You'd think a 32 year old would know when to ditch a partner who treats her this badly without needing to ask mumsnet.

Removing the condom is called stealthing. Its SA.

Its ok he wants kids, its not OK to remove the agreed condom to create one you didnt consent to.

I think you should end it. But I also think maybe get the implant in the mean time

I think you need to go to the police.

Hes stealthing - removing a condom you agreed to use. That's rape.

Hes forcing a sex act on you, whilst you say no and cry. That's rape.

And anal sex, when you aren't consenting and approaching it appropriately can cause damage, tears, bleeds you could seriously get damaged.

This man is dangerous. Hes a rapist. Please report him to protect yourself, your children, and any other women he meets

He’s controlling as fuck. Run.