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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pressured into having a baby by older partner

159 replies

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:03

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

OP posts:
MuckFusk · 03/08/2025 03:05

This reply has been deleted

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Right, because rape is so rare, is it? 🙄

OrangeRhymesWith · 03/08/2025 03:12

You are being abused.
wanting a baby with you is an attempt to trap you further.
please be smart and safe

Bigcat25 · 03/08/2025 03:13

I'm so sorry op. Hope you can leave him soon.

JayLalisa · 03/08/2025 03:30

My love, have you tried saying no? Do you know if he gets violent or like he tends to act off? I know what you mean by moody, but does he go farther? In that case it's police. But long story short, it's leave that guy. No matter how well he has treated you, that doesn't add up to the "wanting to have kids" He might force you, and that's not what any of us want. Leave him dear, he's nowhere close to good. Leave him to protect your peace. A little goes ả long way.

Blueberrymuffinsforthewin · 03/08/2025 05:04

Run

Juststop2025 · 03/08/2025 05:08

You're not actually considering giving into this fucking arsehole, are you?

Wait, he anally rapes you too? Wtf?

Leave. Now. How dare you allow a rapist and abuser access to your children?

Yeah, I fucking bet he "adores" your kids.

Pack your things and go.

Glitchymn1 · 03/08/2025 05:19

since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you"

What did you reply?

Not condoning his behaviour AT ALL but he’s been very clear from the start.

ItsNotMeEither · 03/08/2025 05:20

WOW! It's my first LTB! I haven't read the full thread, but your first post had 1000 red flags, and I was ready to say run, but the update at the end of page 1...holy shit!

Do you have somewhere to go? Can you call a crisis line? You need to get yourself and your kids out of there.

Francestein · 03/08/2025 05:54

Is his name Elon?

Cucy · 03/08/2025 06:35

Fucking hell OP move back out asap!
This will only get worse!

Your kids cannot grow up in an abusive house and he is abusive.

autienotnaughty · 03/08/2025 06:53

I hope this is made up but if not you are ina abusive relationship and need to leave.

Chicaontour · 03/08/2025 07:02

You have a rapist around your children. GET OUT . Do it for your children if you can't do it for yourself. Sending you strength. Do not have another baby he's trying to trap you. Your posts are terrifying

TheyreLikeUsButRichAndThin · 03/08/2025 07:08

He ‘looks after you so well’ yet also rapes you…… needless to say, you can do better ❤️

Spiderx · 03/08/2025 07:09

As a man I would say having children has ALWAYS got to be a joint decision but with the decider being the woman as it's her body that does the hard work.

Dita73 · 03/08/2025 07:11

Not buying it

Roseblooms7 · 03/08/2025 07:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Spiderx · 03/08/2025 07:17

Wow...only just read that part . Non consensual sex IS rape and NOT part of a real relationship or what a REAL man does.

BellissimoGecko · 03/08/2025 07:18

He is raping you. Taking the condom off is called stealthing, and all the comments about having a baby with you? Love-bonbing.

I’d dump him, block him, and report him to the police. creepy fucker.

Zippidydoodah · 03/08/2025 07:23

Yuk. What a horrible, disgusting, abusive piece of shit he is. I’m glad you’ve decided to leave. Good luck with it all.

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 03/08/2025 07:42

Please do leave him. You should never, ever feel pressurised into anything you don't want in a good relationship. The assault would finish it off for me.

NewDogOwner · 03/08/2025 07:42

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. He is a rapist. Get support and end this.

miraxxx · 03/08/2025 07:44

IcyMint · 02/08/2025 22:07

Taking a condom off during sex is rape. You need to leave.

I dont think anything else has to be said.

YourWildAmberSloth · 03/08/2025 08:35

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

If you can't leave for yourself, then do it for your kids. He's a rapist, who has no respect for you or your boundaries - is this really what you want your children around? They are at risk, if you don't leave for your sake, do it for theirs.

SilverpetalShine · 03/08/2025 08:39

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:03

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

You need to ask yourself are you willing to be co-erced in this way? Good is good but when there are strings attached it's really just persuasion to accept his will/demand. Perhaps he is insecure and thinks a child will trap you? Not a reason to bring a new life into the world. They are human beings not control mechanisms. It would be a no for me...a big one.

Flomingho · 03/08/2025 08:41

Get rid. He sounds dangerous unhinged and controlling. Bet the mother of his children is glad to be rid of him.