Entitled dickhead in beauty spot

[grizzlyoldbear]

I was sat on a bench at a beauty spot in a nature reserve I’d never been to before, really peaceful, very quiet, no one else around. A man turned up with his dog and just stood there, it was very unnerving and I think he was waiting for me to move. “Lovely view, isn’t it?” he said in a pointed, hovering way.
As soon as I scrambled away from the bench (couldn't get out of there fast enough), he sat straight down. It was obvious he’d been waiting for me to f* off so he could have the bench to himself.
I found it really intimidating and creepy, especially as it was so secluded. It completely ruined the moment , I just wanted a quiet sit in nature, not to be silently pressured off the only bench.
Am I overreacting or would others have felt the same?

There's a part of me that wonders why you skedaddled away like that.

I felt uncomfortable with a man staring at me and i was on my own and it was a very quiet place

I would have left too. But he wasn’t unreasonable to want to sit on the only bench either. Was it a very small bench? Could you not have shared?

Yes i would have found that very unnerving.

Actually for some years now I've avoided putting myself in situations where I'm in an isolated spot with no one else apparently around. And I don't think I'm being a wimp because it's in response to the news stories that are a regular occurance about women being attacked.
I resent my life being limited in this way I must admit.

The guy you are talking about should have been aware that you were quite vulnerable and he should have known better than to hang about so close to you. He sounds like a bully actually who used his physical presence to get his seat.

The way he went about it was unreasonable though. Like passive aggressive just hovering nearby and emphasising the view. If someone’s already seated on the only bench just suck it up and enjoy a walk instead or if he desperately needs to sit down, he should have just asked OP if she wouldn’t mind sharing.

Agreed. He knew what he was doing. Dickhead. Male pattern behaviour.

Men might aswell have their mouths surgically shut according to the majority of Mumsnet!

He was admiring the view. He perhaps felt awkward so said what he did to make it less awkward?

YABU.

if you had wanted to stay sat there then you just stay!

That would indeed prevent a lot of problems..

As it was a bench surely there was room enough for both of you to sit without being pressed up against each other?

He should’ve been self aware enough to know that his presence in an isolated place might’ve been intimidating to a lone woman minding her own business. Men need know this without exception. And so should their female enablers.

I'd not sit on a bench in an isolated spot if a stranger was already there. I'd probably say some sort of "good morning, lovely day" comment, but not hover nor sit down. They were there first. I might find a bit if grass/ fallen tree branch/ whatever to sitbon further along.

And what do you think the comments on here would be like if he'd dared sit beside a lone woman? People have already accused him of being a sexist bully just for being in the same part of the reserve!

Wouldn't have bothered me, he was walking the pooch, did you respond to his comment? Not everyone is a freaky perve.

So... somewhere people go for peace and quiet. You'd sit down beside them without any suggestion they're happy for the company?

It's not a male/female thing usually. I'd be surprised if a woman sat beside me in that scenario, tbh.

Scuse me mate, someone's sitting there.

YANBU. He was waking his dog, assuming he wasn’t in the middle of a health crisis and needing to sit down at that minute, he could have continued walking his dog and come back later to admire the view. But no, the entitled dickhead proceeded to intimidate you so that he could do what he wanted at that exact moment in time, in that public space, regardless of who was already there using that space.

Perhaps that's why he said about the view? Not every man is a creep!

Me too.
No way would I have gone anywhere.

Maybe that’s why he he spoke to her to be friendly and try out her at ease if she maybe looked a bit uptight or concerned

It's a bench not a chair. They're meant for more thsn one person.

I wouldn’t have moved.

You're a man aren't you

No but every creep is a man.