Entitled dickhead in beauty spot

[grizzlyoldbear]

I was sat on a bench at a beauty spot in a nature reserve I’d never been to before, really peaceful, very quiet, no one else around. A man turned up with his dog and just stood there, it was very unnerving and I think he was waiting for me to move. “Lovely view, isn’t it?” he said in a pointed, hovering way.
As soon as I scrambled away from the bench (couldn't get out of there fast enough), he sat straight down. It was obvious he’d been waiting for me to f* off so he could have the bench to himself.
I found it really intimidating and creepy, especially as it was so secluded. It completely ruined the moment , I just wanted a quiet sit in nature, not to be silently pressured off the only bench.
Am I overreacting or would others have felt the same?

Oh jeez please check yourself.

It could’ve been the world’s biggest bench but if you’re a lone woman in an isolated beauty spot and some dickhead Derek wants to sit on the exact same bench with no one else around it’s not going to be a comfortable experience for that lone vulnerable woman is it? 🙄

It doesn’t matter whether his intentions were harmless, gormless or brainless - men should not be approaching women they don’t know. I’m sure there were other benches he could’ve sat his ‘entitled arse’. But no. Make a lone woman, who was minding her own business, anxious and concerned so much she walked away.

Do people like you not actually care about how male privilege affects women’s wellbeing and freedoms?

It was exactly this energy, thankyou for affirming this

How long is prolonged?

@Icanttakethisanymore
I think you should read your own username and get some sleep.

I spend a lot of time outdoors on my own and on the rare occasion something feels off or I feel intimidated I do exactly what OP did.
Im not scared of my own shadow, I consider myself mostly safe walking the hills and woods round here and often have a nice chat or polite hello with folks but if I’d been in OP position I would have felt uncomfortable.

You’re right. I have enough genuine problems in my life without worrying about whether some guy out with his dog loitered at a beauty spot for too long 😂

So things have moved on from the OP and we now know that the man was staring, "looming" over her, had already sat down earlier and was now silently waiting for her to move. All of which is new information.

I am all for trusting your gut OP and walking off if things don't seem right. 1000%. Also calling the police if someone is harassing or abusing you.

But men are still allowed to enjoy local beauty spots even if they are the local weirdo with zero social skills. There are plenty of odd women who would behave similarly and we would just brush it off.

I would never have this problem. At 50+, gone are the days anyone would intimidate me.

I can talk a glass eye to sleep so any random man who tries to chat to me soon thinks “Shit! I’d better get away from this one otherwise she’ll bore me to death.” 😂

I would also not move from a bench and I’d probably be sitting there with a bag of litter I’d collected as well so even more crazy looking.

If you’re in that situation again, it’s best to look dead at them and say in a really deep voice ‘bootiful view yes’ and budge up and pat the space next to you and say ‘room for two’ end with a belch.

He obviously wanted to sit on the bench. Rather than just plonking himself down next to the lone woman on the bench - in a way that someone who is entitled and thoughtless might do - he waited, making it clear he wanted to sit down too. You didn't give him the go ahead to sit, so he carried on waiting. You had a choice - share the bench or leave. What you actually wanted was for him to fuck off so you could sit there on your own and enjoy. So now you've turned into him being creepy, entitled dickhead. He didn't do anything to you.

Sounds like a you problem

@joliefolle @KickHimInTheCrotch Look upon the posts and read it back. Now, what does it say ?

sounds like you need to comfort eat. Off you go

Using a dog for "protection" is a symptom of small man syndrome. People who think like this are the same people who think that people are intimidated if they act tough and aggressive, or think that people are intimidated if they buy a large and noisy car.

For your information- very few people are intimidated by dogs.

He still ‘made it clear’ that his wants were more important than hers. And he succeeded didn’t he? So yes he was entitled and a dickhead. I don’t know what kind of men you’re used to, but I can’t imagine any male in my family - young or old - behaving like that.

I'd be mildly annoyed by his behaviour, but it may be that he sits there every day, at the same time, and was completely thrown when he saw the bench occupied. Some people find every day a struggle and need routine for a variety of reasons e.g neurodivergence, PTSD etc. This doesn't make them entitled dickheads.

You can't imagine any men not wanting to just plonk themselves down next a lone woman and so waiting?

It’s like, in the unwritten country code, don’t stop and chat with a woman sitting alone having a nice quiet time. Creep or no, how weird to interrupt that clearly sought peace. I love a quick chat on my walks (passers by), and often it’s a man, and often the conversation is predictable and cute “news from the top” but if he’s giving me the slightest weird vibe my entire walk is ruined (looking over my shoulder). And I walk many miles alone in mountains and woods like @MsAnnFrope 👋

@InternationalHulaClub none of the men in my family would behave like this. Most normal men would think “ I don’t want to come across as a weirdo” and park themselves and their unwanted commentary elsewhere (in a 50 acre nature reserve there were a lot of options)

If he just wanted to sit, why didn’t he just say “excuse me, do you mind if I sit?” You know, like a normal polite person? Rather than standing and staring weirdly in a way that a woman was made to feel intimidated.

If there were lots of options and the OP was uncomfortable, why did she not take all of those other options? The OP is cross because she scrambled out of there as quickly as she could rather than holding her seat and ignoring or inviting him to share the bench. That was her choice. And yes I have spent a lot of time lone hiking in the countryside. Not so much in the UK, it's true, but European countries where this would be a total non-event.

I'd have have said "yes the fresh really helps my TB too" and start coughing.

Probably nothing sinister, who knows, but merely a man wanting something, in this case the bench you were sitting on and passively scared you into skeedaddling, he knew what he was doing.

Don't let yourself be chased away OP!

You have as much right as him to be there.

I get it though, some men are scary.

There's no part of me that doesn't entirely understand that decision.