Entitled dickhead in beauty spot

[grizzlyoldbear]

I was sat on a bench at a beauty spot in a nature reserve I’d never been to before, really peaceful, very quiet, no one else around. A man turned up with his dog and just stood there, it was very unnerving and I think he was waiting for me to move. “Lovely view, isn’t it?” he said in a pointed, hovering way.
As soon as I scrambled away from the bench (couldn't get out of there fast enough), he sat straight down. It was obvious he’d been waiting for me to f* off so he could have the bench to himself.
I found it really intimidating and creepy, especially as it was so secluded. It completely ruined the moment , I just wanted a quiet sit in nature, not to be silently pressured off the only bench.
Am I overreacting or would others have felt the same?

Similar to what a pp said earlier, 'not every man is a freaky perve, but every freaky perve is a man!'

@BMW6 The bench was 6ft long. It would be the equivalent of someone getting on empty double decker bus and then choosing to sit right next to you at a 2 seater. Completely unneccessary

"I can't describe why it felt off" -- I am happy you left. 100% always trust your gut and don't ever try and let your brain talk you into staying. Intuition is real.

Were you hogging the bench or were you sitting so others could sit as well?

Wouldn’t have bothered me at all, I’d have asked if he wanted to share the bench. He may walk that way daily and he thought saying lovely view was friendly - I do it fairly regularly, we actually talk to each other here.

i swear some posters are scared of their own shadow

@grizzlyoldbear It was obvious he’d been waiting for me to f* off so he could have the bench to himself.

As opposed to what you wanted... which was for him to fuck off so you could have the bench to yourself?

Why could the bench not have been shared?

🙄

@mamagogo1 No, I'm not scared of my own shadow, I just clearly haven’t reached the zen state where being silently loomed over by a stranger feels relaxing.

who knows...maybe it was bench in memory of his wife....could be anything. Perhaps you could have budged up and shared..maybe had a chat admiring the view. You were perfectly entitled to feel the way and react the way you did but it might just have been innocent.

😆 Nice one OP!

@grizzlyoldbear I don't think I'd do this again actually in hindsight, it left me with a really weird feeling. Well maybe i would if i had a large dog.

Outside of the policy and military, dogs are not tools for self-defence or for intimidation of other people.

Ah, I missed that second post as it came so soon after the first.

personally I would assume a man with a dog, on a route which is presumably popular with walkers and dog walkers was up to no good. He’s just as much right to be there as her and he’s not intimidated her beyond talking to her and looking her.

Sounds like he was making polite conversation. Surely you can't be shocked that a man may be walking his dog in a public nature area. If your too anxious to be out alone maybe only go to places like that when you have company.

We had a very overweight and creepy man literally tell us to move for him. That’s my bench he said.

Weve since learned he’s the local perv who stares at very young girls.

If a woman wants a large dog to feel safer, that’s her prerogative.

@TiggyTomCat Sure, he could have been innocent, but lingering and staring is not the best way to announce his innocence.

He didn’t ask to share the bench, didn’t smile, just stood there silently until I felt pressured to move. He eventually said "nice view isn't it" but I'd already started walking. It wasn’t a warm or social vibe, it was awkward and vaguely territorial.

If he had said, “Would you mind if I join you?” or even smiled and sat down without fuss, it would’ve been a completely different story. But when you're alone in a secluded spot and someone behaves like that, it doesn't always feel safe.

“Loomed over” 😂

@shuggles that's great you've reminded me of that, thanks. 🙄

Looking is different to staring.

How is it different? Given we have no idea about the OP’s threshold for looking vs starting? Maybe she should have set out the looking vs staring thresholds when she used the word staring 😂

Or we could just believe her?

’Staring is a prolonged gaze or fixed look In staring, one subject or person is the continual focus of visual interest, for a long amount of time. The meaning, purpose, and rudeness, of staring varies widely between cultures. Staring can be interpreted as being either hostile like disapproval of another's behavior, or the result of intense concentration, interest or affection. Staring behavior can be considered as a form of aggression like when it is an invasion of an individual's privacy in certain contexts, or as a nonverbal cue to convey feelings of attraction in a social setting’

You don’t get a dog for that reason. It’s easier and makes a lot more sense to avoid secluded areas where you don’t feel safe.

I don’t think OP needs dog ownership reasons explained to her.

@JLou08 See above. No I'm not at all anxious. I’d love to see any woman not feel uncomfortable in that situation. He was looming, staring, and silently waiting for me to move. That’s not “innocent,” it's peak wanker passive-aggressive and entitled.
@Glitchymn1 Read the room, the dog is hardly the point of the post

Orrrrrr….he was just standing admiring the view. Decided to engage with someone else also admiring the view, and then sat down on the now free bench after the OP had left.

Struggling to see how someone had taken his actions as intimidating or passive aggressive.