Partner got really funny about swimwear I wore to work away day

[JadeHoliday]

We had a two day work ‘away trip’ last week where one of the bonding things was going to an indoor swimming complex with slides etc. Really fun!

When I got back from this, my partner said ‘you didn’t wear a bikini did you’- which I said I obviously did.

He thinks that’s disrespectful and I should have worn a swim suit ‘rather than have my arse out in front of colleagues’(!)

I told him he can’t control what I wear and he got the hump. He thinks I was trying to make myself attractive and impress colleagues..

Would you say I should have ‘covered up’ or is he being unreasonable

If you really don’t see the issue in wearing a thong bikini in front of of work colleagues then there is something wrong with you. This is totally inappropriate and you will not get viewed favourably in a professional way

Seriously? You got your arse out in front of your work colleagues? I am with your DH all the way.

A man showing his muscles off is showing his attractiveness as a "protector" and "provider" to a woman if we are going down animal instincts

Am I convinced this is real?

No

But it still highlights so many issues with MN.

"It's not professional" - we don't all have the same jobs, where "professional" is a state of existence at all times.

The misogynism in "You're only wearing it for men to stare at you"

What do some of you wear for "office" parties? Notorious for wearing clothes not suitable for the office environment. Tits out, legs out, arses out, pants so tight you can see everything...

I'm assuming you were fully dressed for those?

I feel you were kinda making a point this time

Who dresses like that for office parties? Obviously you don’t wear the same thing that you wear during the day in the office, but you still modify your dress so that it’s appropriate don’t you? Ie you wouldn’t have your tits or arse out the way you might in a nightclub in Tenerife. I’ve worked in a lot of different lines of work over my life, with a lot of different dress codes, but not being half naked in front of your boss or your boss’s boss or Gary from accounts has always been an unspoken rule…

Whether it may or may not be ‘appropriate’ in the context is separate to me here (and not something I particularly have an opinion on personally). He just doesn’t get to tell you what to wear.

From someone who’s never really worn bikinis and nowadays would prefer to wear a full wetsuit situation whoever I was with. 😆

I know people who have done so. You must work in a very conservative profession where staff don't dress more provocatively at office parties.

Nope. In the contrary. I’ve mainly worked in fun industries where staff are young and office dress code informal, and where there have been a lot of parties and social events. I’ve even worked places with a bar in the office. People always put huge effort into dressing for parties and nights out, but still they’ve had an awareness that it’s work, and they will be surrounded by colleagues and bosses. Who wants to sit in a team meeting the next day knowing that everyone saw your tits and arse the night before?

Maybe I am a bit old fashioned, @JadeHoliday, but I don’t think a thong bikini is particularly suitable for a work away-day/event, so I agree with your partner there. But I think he would be wrong to object to a normal bikini. Bare bottom cheeks seems unacceptable to me, but the skin exposed by an ordinary bikini would be fine, imo.

A swimsuit more than often tends to cover the bum. A thong bikini makes your bum appear out & naked. It's comparable to wearing a bra or no bra. There is a huge difference.

Yeah, one covers the bum and the other makes a show piece of it.

Yeah an isty bitsy bikini isn't suitable for works events with slides and all. Imagine you lost your top or bottoms on the slides

I’ve read the OP’s posts but not all the replies.

Either the thread is absurd nonsense (it’s pretty lighthearted) OR it’s true and an inspired way to make sure that work do not arrange any more away days that require a swimsuit.

To be fair I don’t think it’s out of the realms of possibility.. a woman I came across on instagram wore a tiny white tie-string bikini (not quite a thong but hoiked up her arse!) to a works summer party, no dress or coverup or sarong over it or anything. It was tragic, everyone else dressed totally normally and her in that… and I think it was overcast if not raining which kind of adds insult to injury. Point being, people are crazy.

I strongly doubt that a thread on MN would have any influence on my employer’s staff awayday choices.

No sorry - I meant that someone may have had a quiet word with HR the day after the swimming pool thing to say that, unless the costumes are policed, events in swimming pools aren’t a suitable work activity.

I don’t have tits and arse out at the office party! 🤣

It would be unusual to get your arse out at the office party 😀

@ToffeeCrumble you obviously weren’t at most of my work parties in the 90's! 😀Not me of course

Unless there's a photocopier nearby of course

People are laughing at the office party arse.

How many others were as exposed?

None of your bf's business what you wear.

Both my own workplace parties and people at other ones dress like that. People dress for a night out. Low cut tops, short skirts, men in trousers where you can see their cock outline they're so tight...

They're also mostly just piss ups in a local bar or one of those theme night things.

We all have different experiences