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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Over familiar shop assistant

393 replies

StinkyCheeseMoose · 05/07/2025 19:43

I had a bad attack of internal rage today.

Apart from a bit of snippiness - which the subject of my rage quite possibly didn't notice - I managed to keep it to myself.

I work in an office close to the high street of a small town. Every lunchtime I walk into town to buy my lunch and take it back to the office.

On my way back, I go into the newsagent to buy a newspaper and a flake.

The shop assistant is murderous-thought inducingly annoying. She is the kind of person who speaks to her elderly customers in a higher than usual sing-sing voice and seems to think that a bit of patronising chit-chat should be part of the service.

My annoyance started to accelerate a few weeks ago. I had bought a sausage roll from Greggs before I went into the newsagent.

"Oooo! That smells nice, what are we having for lunch today?" She asked.

I decided to ignore her question and paid for my paper and flake.

A few days ago, the weather was colder than had been forecast (unfortunately, the heatwave everyone else seems to be getting has passed us by). It was cold and windy and I wasn't wearing a jacket or cardigan.

"Oooo! Aren't you cold dressed like that?" She asked.

I ignored her question and paid for my paper and flake.

Yesterday, I put my paper and flake on the counter and waited to pay. As she picked up my flake, she said:

"Oooo! You really love these, don't you? You'll look like one soon if you aren't careful"

Am I unreasonable to expect a shop assistant to respect my privacy, not to quiz me on what I am having for lunch, comment on what I am wearing or what I am buying?

I don't mind a quick "It's a lovely day today" type of interaction, but all I actually want from her is quick and efficient service.

OP posts:
Kchs232 · 07/07/2025 14:56

Christ OP next thing you know she will be asking for your address and your national insurance number 😂Tell her to cool it, your sausage roll is none of her business.

mummymetalhead · 07/07/2025 14:59

The ‘you’ll turn into a flake’ comment was unnecessary but everything else is completely fine and it sounds like a you problem.

StMarie4me · 07/07/2025 15:04

Good grief. You are beyond ridiculous.

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 07/07/2025 15:11

levampire · 07/07/2025 14:47

They are fattening, and to comment on someone's food choice is considered negative and overstepping, regardless.

As is telling a stranger to smile.

It's really not

Blodwynne · 07/07/2025 15:11

Huge pile on of people telling someone to keep stuff in proportion.

ThatRoseBear · 07/07/2025 15:12

OP I have only ever experienced annoying customer service once. It was in the building society where the same lady would ask chit chat type questions but didn't seem genuinely interested. I think they must have been told to do it. I just want to go in to make a deposit during my short lunch break, I don't want to talk about where I work or what I do for a living. Has nothing to do with why I was there. I don't want to talk about who my mortgage is with or other financial products etc. I just found her so annoying each time and it gave me the silent rage. Really irrational as I've never reacted to anyone like that before and I'm a really sociable person!

Yerroblemom1923 · 07/07/2025 15:18

I can't be the only one amazed that you eat a Flake EVERYDAY!
And, yes, yabu. She's just being friendly. I feel sorry for your postie/milk person, /general friendly person who dares to say a friendly "hi" as you pass on the street etc etc
God help you if you're ever sat on a bus/train with a chatty one!

Yerroblemom1923 · 07/07/2025 15:20

mummymetalhead · 07/07/2025 14:59

The ‘you’ll turn into a flake’ comment was unnecessary but everything else is completely fine and it sounds like a you problem.

It wasn't like she said "you'll be 14st if you keep up this Flake addiction!" If she'd bought a banana every day and was told she'd turn into one would it be considered " offensive"?@

deeahgwitch · 07/07/2025 15:22

JustTalkToThem · 05/07/2025 19:44

You sound fun.

I thought that too.

PreciousMomentsHun · 07/07/2025 15:37

Yerroblemom1923 · 07/07/2025 15:18

I can't be the only one amazed that you eat a Flake EVERYDAY!
And, yes, yabu. She's just being friendly. I feel sorry for your postie/milk person, /general friendly person who dares to say a friendly "hi" as you pass on the street etc etc
God help you if you're ever sat on a bus/train with a chatty one!

Flakes are fucking lovely.

Some utter wrong un on here suggested Twirls as a substitute. No, no, no, no and no.

Tell me you were raised by a pig in a sty eating slops from a trough without telling me you were raised by a pig in a sty eating slops from a trough.

Flashahah · 07/07/2025 15:44

PreciousMomentsHun · 07/07/2025 15:37

Flakes are fucking lovely.

Some utter wrong un on here suggested Twirls as a substitute. No, no, no, no and no.

Tell me you were raised by a pig in a sty eating slops from a trough without telling me you were raised by a pig in a sty eating slops from a trough.

How do you stand on ripples?

CustardySergeant · 07/07/2025 15:48

RominaDina · 05/07/2025 21:54

You could get a stamp made with "Meat is Murder" on it, and stamp customers' hands when they buy meat. That should get the conversation going.
.

I hate it when they do that!

CustardySergeant · 07/07/2025 15:50

PreciousMomentsHun · 05/07/2025 21:55

Taking notes.😁

"Yes, it IS lovely weather for it... if by "it" you mean sewing English Civil War costumes for my large collection of hamsters."

😂

Missj25 · 07/07/2025 15:55

EmeraldShamrock000 · 07/07/2025 14:48

Seriously. Some people are easily annoyed.

Are you Irish EmeraldShamrock ?

ginasevern · 07/07/2025 15:56

I don't like flakes (don't like Cadbury's chocolate at all) but I have been eating a Magnum chocolate ice lolly almost every day for the past month. Will I turn into one?

RominaDina · 07/07/2025 16:35

CustardySergeant · 07/07/2025 15:48

I hate it when they do that!

Tell me about it. It's why I became vegan.

RominaDina · 07/07/2025 16:35

ginasevern · 07/07/2025 15:56

I don't like flakes (don't like Cadbury's chocolate at all) but I have been eating a Magnum chocolate ice lolly almost every day for the past month. Will I turn into one?

At least you'd be cool in this hot weather!

ginasevern · 07/07/2025 16:45

RominaDina · 07/07/2025 16:35

At least you'd be cool in this hot weather!

That's true, but if I turned into a giant Magnum ice lolly how safe would I be?

RominaDina · 07/07/2025 16:50

ginasevern · 07/07/2025 16:45

That's true, but if I turned into a giant Magnum ice lolly how safe would I be?

I'd look after you... 😋

ginasevern · 07/07/2025 17:44

RominaDina · 07/07/2025 16:50

I'd look after you... 😋

.....not sure I believe you.

RominaDina · 07/07/2025 17:53

ginasevern · 07/07/2025 17:44

.....not sure I believe you.

😘

Zov · 07/07/2025 18:40

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 07/07/2025 15:11

It's really not

It really is.

I absolutely agree that commenting on someone's food choice is overstepping, As is telling a stranger to smile.

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 07/07/2025 18:50

Zov · 07/07/2025 18:40

It really is.

I absolutely agree that commenting on someone's food choice is overstepping, As is telling a stranger to smile.

Edited

OK but commenting on food, in a shop, whilst buying food isn't rude
Unless you make a personal comment (and you'll turn into one isn't personal) like calling someone a fat cow, saying they need to fatten up

StrikeForever · 07/07/2025 19:53

Farageisacupidstunt · 07/07/2025 12:33

How tiresome. It's just another of those Am I wrong? Yes, you are. No, I'm not. threads again.

It is, but at least this one gives us a laugh 😂

EmeraldShamrock000 · 07/07/2025 20:38

Utterlyconfusednow · 05/07/2025 20:05

It’s the silently placing down of the paper and flake that did it for me. 🤣

Still cracking me up. 😅

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