Over familiar shop assistant

[StinkyCheeseMoose]

I had a bad attack of internal rage today.

Apart from a bit of snippiness - which the subject of my rage quite possibly didn't notice - I managed to keep it to myself.

I work in an office close to the high street of a small town. Every lunchtime I walk into town to buy my lunch and take it back to the office.

On my way back, I go into the newsagent to buy a newspaper and a flake.

The shop assistant is murderous-thought inducingly annoying. She is the kind of person who speaks to her elderly customers in a higher than usual sing-sing voice and seems to think that a bit of patronising chit-chat should be part of the service.

My annoyance started to accelerate a few weeks ago. I had bought a sausage roll from Greggs before I went into the newsagent.

"Oooo! That smells nice, what are we having for lunch today?" She asked.

I decided to ignore her question and paid for my paper and flake.

A few days ago, the weather was colder than had been forecast (unfortunately, the heatwave everyone else seems to be getting has passed us by). It was cold and windy and I wasn't wearing a jacket or cardigan.

"Oooo! Aren't you cold dressed like that?" She asked.

I ignored her question and paid for my paper and flake.

Yesterday, I put my paper and flake on the counter and waited to pay. As she picked up my flake, she said:

"Oooo! You really love these, don't you? You'll look like one soon if you aren't careful"

Am I unreasonable to expect a shop assistant to respect my privacy, not to quiz me on what I am having for lunch, comment on what I am wearing or what I am buying?

I don't mind a quick "It's a lovely day today" type of interaction, but all I actually want from her is quick and efficient service.

As a fellow retail worker i hear ya!

Do hope someone brings a flake and sausage roll to my grave though.

And gets 'quizzed' on the way by an overly friendly shop assistant.

And a standing ovation for the PPs who suggested the OP invests in a Flake multipack, it really tickled me 😆

You sound like a utter T###

You ignored a question twice. How unbelievably rude you are. I hope she comments every single time about your flake! She is probably testing you now for her own fun, and will make increasingly crazy remarks to you every day waiting for a response.

@Byebyechicken I have also had shop assistants ask me if I am having a party because of the volume of chocolate I was buying. I was actually just going to binge on the chocolate myself but of course I just smiled and nodded

This made me laugh because the exact same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. At least you handled it with dignity. For me, the shop assistant said 'treating yourself tonight then?' And I lied 'No! I'm sharing, we are all sharing. I wouldn't eat all that myself. Jeez I'm not a pig!!' And she was like 'oh alright then, see ya'. I'm sure she knew then if she didn't already that i was on a binge.

Oh OP, you really need to lighten up. If I were the shopkeeper, I’d probably step it up a little and be extra friendly just to really annoy you. I’d also, hide all of the flakes.

Anyone getting shades of Margot from the Good life here?

She’s much better than the ones who begrudgingly look up from their phones and can’t even be bothered to say Thankyou when you hand over your money.

And as she walks in loudly exclaim "Sorry love. We're out of Flakes today. You'll have to pick something else to go with your Greggs"

Sounds more like a bloke to me. Regardless of region.

I would advise never coming to Scotland if you hate this kind of chat 😅

Or South Wales!

Because you are constantly grumpy, refuse to interact with her at even the most basic level, yet continue to go into her shop, I think she sees you as a challenge.

She's determined to make you speak because she doesn't understand why you don't ever answer her. Hence (and thank you for allowing me the opportunity to use the word 'hence') she is upping the ante by increasing her level of familiarity each day. Be prepared for some incredibly personal remarks as the weeks go on.
"where are you hiding all those flakes - have you got a secret cavity?"
"Bit underdressed for the weather aren't you? You'll be coming in naked tomorrow" etc.

I was pregnant and the woman said "are you getting notions?" I truthfully said "no, my husband is", because they were for him!

I love that she’s now gone to passive aggressive comments about your eating habits since you started ignoring her.

She sounds fun

I am very introverted and love a tiny little social interaction like this! Pretty much one sentence each with no expectation of any progression. Leaves me feeling like I've had a tiny little success!

Yorkshire a no-go too!

You sound rude. What on earth is wrong with someone trying to be friendly, far better than an assistant standing around looking at their nails and ignoring you. If it bothers you that much buy your flake elsewwhere.