Over familiar shop assistant

[StinkyCheeseMoose]

I had a bad attack of internal rage today.

Apart from a bit of snippiness - which the subject of my rage quite possibly didn't notice - I managed to keep it to myself.

I work in an office close to the high street of a small town. Every lunchtime I walk into town to buy my lunch and take it back to the office.

On my way back, I go into the newsagent to buy a newspaper and a flake.

The shop assistant is murderous-thought inducingly annoying. She is the kind of person who speaks to her elderly customers in a higher than usual sing-sing voice and seems to think that a bit of patronising chit-chat should be part of the service.

My annoyance started to accelerate a few weeks ago. I had bought a sausage roll from Greggs before I went into the newsagent.

"Oooo! That smells nice, what are we having for lunch today?" She asked.

I decided to ignore her question and paid for my paper and flake.

A few days ago, the weather was colder than had been forecast (unfortunately, the heatwave everyone else seems to be getting has passed us by). It was cold and windy and I wasn't wearing a jacket or cardigan.

"Oooo! Aren't you cold dressed like that?" She asked.

I ignored her question and paid for my paper and flake.

Yesterday, I put my paper and flake on the counter and waited to pay. As she picked up my flake, she said:

"Oooo! You really love these, don't you? You'll look like one soon if you aren't careful"

Am I unreasonable to expect a shop assistant to respect my privacy, not to quiz me on what I am having for lunch, comment on what I am wearing or what I am buying?

I don't mind a quick "It's a lovely day today" type of interaction, but all I actually want from her is quick and efficient service.

Do you know what…
today I broke down and sobbed because I had to give my one year old life saving rescue medications, struggled to replaced his NG tube and had to give him a suppository as he can’t open his bowels properly. Next week I am sorting out a plan for when he passes away at some point during his childhood.

I’ve never been the type of person to say to anyone “my problems are bigger than yours” but seriously OP, if this is all you have to complain about I envy you.

just be friendly ffs

Brilliant! And so intrusive!

Less intrusive I mean!! It wouldn’t be questioned!

Oh god forbid the poor woman actually makes some idle chit chat to pass the time.

If it really bothers you that much wear some headphones with loud music blaring from them, then she can call you a miserable old cow and you’d not hear it.

Lately people complain about inattentive vs workers. She's trying to be friendly. Staff can't win. Op thinks she should only be allowed to speak about the weather. What a bore! No doubt she'd get tired of that in a hurry.

I used to work in a shop for years. Knew everyone.
one lady used to come in, we called her resting bitch face as she totally ignored us!
I made it my mission to get her to crack a smile by being overly nice and chatty. It worked!! Haha
ended up always chatting.
OP- standing in the shop all day on your own, she probably just likes to be friendly, or she’s trying to crack you!

I imagine you can get newspapers easily elsewhere. Maybe order a box of flakes off Amazon or buy some multipacks next time you do a big supermarket shop. Then you can avoid the cheerful lady!

Change newsagents?
Buy flakes in bulk and have the newspaper delivered?
I like the sound of her

I’m one of the most anti-social people going but even I would engage with the shop worker . She’s just being polite.

It would appear that Victor Meldrew is alive and well.

@IWantAShitzu

And buying flakes!

I'm with you OP.
I have worked in retail and some shop assistants cross a line from making general conversation to making personal quips at customers.
I have known shop assistants to raise eyebrows when someone is buying condoms, totally unprofessional and unnecessary!
I have also had shop assistants ask me if I am having a party because of the volume of chocolate I was buying. I was actually just going to binge on the chocolate myself but of course I just smiled and nodded.
I have worked alongside assistants who've said 'Someone's in the doghouse!' when a man was buying flowers.
He didn't reply but honestly, they could have been for any reason, he could be visiting a grave!
It's those types of comments that are unprofessional and unnecessary!
I worked in retail for years and never struggled to make conversation about general things without picking out what people were buying, why they were buying that item etc.
In this day and age, perhaps the shop assistant ought to practice being kind herself by not asking probing questions.

Those comments are fine. I was highly amused when a checkout assistant asked the man in front of me who was buying canned dog food and industrial quantities of beer if the dog was having a party. The whole queue laughed including the customer who was buying it.

Over familiar? I think she sounds fab

Don’t go into Lush.

There used to be a guy in the local Tesco express who would comment on every item if buy. It drove me crazy!
I'm was very polite and would murmur a response or acknowledgement of what he'd said. But this guy would literally say in one trip
"Oooh a bottle of wine, have you had a hard day? I prefer chocolate to cheer me up...oh I see you've bought a giant bar a dairy milk too. You must be upset. Aha sanitary towels, that explains it, you're on your period..." Etc etc etc

It's just chit chat, if you don't like it take your own flake and newspaper to work? It sounds like it's become irritating to you because it's part of your day. Yes there are annoyances but no need to let them get to you, especially a few minutes a day. I'm sure at some point the server will change and you can be annoyed at their abruptness?

Me, I work in schools, take my own lunch, barely have enough time to eat it and go to the loo so this actually sounds wonderful lol 😆

I'm not the chattiest person by far but even by my standards you are very, very rude. Would it be so hard to politely respond to the person serving you in the shop?

Totally agree it’s just bad manners to ignore someone.

A Sainsbury’s shop assistant once made this comment as I bought a pregnancy test “Someone’s been naughty.” I was indeed pregnant and did not want to be. I don’t think commenting about anyone’s food unless prompted or the food is openly on display is polite. I also think any comments that insinuate your clothing isn’t fit for purpose / the weather is polite conversation. I don’t believe all these women would have the time of day for this woman like they're pretending. They’re happy to be rude to someone disagreeing on here but yet they expect us to believe they wouldn’t mind being asked what’s in their bag and would happily disclose this to anyone that asked with a smile and a wave as the woman told them that they should have worn a cardigan.

I am, in real life, one of the nicest people you could meet and that’s the truth. Ask me for a favour and I’m there. I pride myself on never letting people down, I am polite until someone is impolite to me. But I am sick to death of people thinking they can say whatever they want without consequence. A man at the dump it site recently made a comment that I had been a lot! He literally wouldn’t have a job if people didn’t use it! I was quite literally doing the civic minded thing by not chucking it in the wheelie bin or a bush like some morons do! I told him my Dad had died and we were clearing his house and that I wish I didn’t need to be there. And he acted like I upset him! By telling the truth. I think some of the people that think these interactions are fine may lack emotional intelligence or that’s what I’m telling myself.

What would it cost you to treat her like a human being? YABVVU.
Sort the problems in your head they are the real cause of all this.

I would assume he had some SEN. Bless him. Thanks for being kind and forebearing.

This. And get over yourself!