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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Full Bush or Shaven Haven?

208 replies

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 00:07

Been on a work training /away day today.
Largely female dominated professional (children’s social care)
As usual in the down time amidst all the doom n gloom of the days agenda me and colleagues get into the really important, off the record team bonding stuff - OLD, step kids, menopause, weightloss jabs, difficult teens , GcSEs, holidays, moaning about the management etc etc .
Two colleagues got into the subject of pubic hair removal (as you do in market town village hall on a Friday afternoon) as one felt strongly that the act of removing pubic hair is deeply anti- feminist. Fair point I guess.

She got lots of push back from the shaven havens, landing strippers, and trim triangle havers. Only one other person said they are au natural but caveated that with not currently in a relationship nor looking.
She went onto suggest that while for young males this is probably a natural expectation in a partner due to socialisation via pornograpgy, any man of ‘our age’ ( 40s/50s) who wouldn’t be averse to a hairless minge is virtually paedophile adjacent!!
I thought that was a bit strong to be honest.
Did get me thinking though.
I’m completely in the shaven haven camp, personally - Much prefer it. I believe I’m still a feminist though.
I go swimming most mornings and in the open changing room it occurred to me that not seen a full bush in years.

OP posts:
Littledidsheknow · 24/05/2025 09:17

Those of us old enough to remember porn mags from the 70s and 80s (they were everywhere… someone always found one at home and brought it out for their friends to laugh at!) know that bush was the norm then. Full bush was sexy and wank fodder then. So it’s strange to me that people keep going on about porn as the driver for the now more popular hairless look.

Porn industry makes the same money whatever hair style is in fashion; various other industries make millions from the new obsession with hair removal.

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 09:17

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 09:16

For this reason my DH never gave oral sex to his ex wife.

Why would you even discuss this stuff?! My god 🤣

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 09:19

PizzaSophiaLoren · 24/05/2025 08:41

Brilliant!

I also heard a full bush being called “the full English” on here.

Oh I love that
just putting in on the ‘unofficial’ work WhatsApp…

OP posts:
namechangeGOT · 24/05/2025 09:22

EleanorReally · 24/05/2025 08:19

oral sex is over rated!

It’s really really not! Giving or receiving.

numbbumm · 24/05/2025 09:22

Telling other women their grooming habits are anti feminist is anti feminist.

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 09:23

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 09:17

Why would you even discuss this stuff?! My god 🤣

We are very open lol and came up in context of aversion to pubic hair in that context early on.
FWIW- I thought most couples were open like us especially in early days of relationship ( now many moons ago!)
each to their own tho xx

OP posts:
IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 24/05/2025 09:31

YankSplaining · 24/05/2025 01:14

With the amount of body hair my husband has, I sure as hell do! Also, I think everyone who grows armpit hair should shave it at least once a month.

Also, I think everyone who grows armpit hair should shave it at least once a month.

May I ask why?

uuuuu · 24/05/2025 09:38

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 06:59

I can’t believe so many people are answering this obvious man who wants wank fodder :(

Then report it to MNHQ if you are so sure

Catsandcannedbeans · 24/05/2025 09:52

Before I had kids and when I had an astonishing amount of free time I used to shave it into a star… damn motherhood robs us of so much.

When I was a teen I used to shave it but when I met DP he said “can you not shave it bald it makes feel like a nonce” And I jumped at the opportunity. Then I found out you could make it crazy shapes and an iconic bush was born.

To be honest I get why he feels like that because if he shaved all his pubes off I would think that was weird and probably wouldn’t like it.

EBearhug · 24/05/2025 10:34
  1. All porn inspired. Epilation was a feature offered in Ancient Rome and Ancient Greek bathhouses, it’s nothing new.
  2. It may be nothing new, but just because they painted porn scenes on the walls and had phallic amulets and wrote some dodgy poetry and so on doesn't mean we have to follow suit with everything they did. Slavery was normal, too.
Lardychops · 24/05/2025 10:59

uuuuu · 24/05/2025 09:38

Then report it to MNHQ if you are so sure

Not been in Mumsnet long but I guess that does happen.
49 year old mother of 4 boys and 2 girls.
Promise x

OP posts:
Piffle11 · 24/05/2025 11:27

Ahsheeit · 24/05/2025 00:31

Generally can't be arsed and call the council once a year when it gets out of control 😉

😆😆😆

StarlightLady · 24/05/2025 11:48

EBearhug · 24/05/2025 10:34

  1. All porn inspired. Epilation was a feature offered in Ancient Rome and Ancient Greek bathhouses, it’s nothing new.
  2. It may be nothing new, but just because they painted porn scenes on the walls and had phallic amulets and wrote some dodgy poetry and so on doesn't mean we have to follow suit with everything they did. Slavery was normal, too.

”Hairy” is quite a big thing in porn.

My own hair removal from late teens onwards was inspired by blood from heavy periods, a sweaty crotch, hairs poking out of swimwear or knickers and receiving better oral, not porn.

MirrorMirror1247 · 24/05/2025 11:56

I use Veet. I'm not brave enough to get it waxed and shaving causes itchy regrowth. I do this every few weeks, if the hair gets too long I find it uncomfortable.

Jujujudo · 24/05/2025 12:04

StarlightLady · 24/05/2025 09:11

I wear a 36F bra! If you saw me naked (l’m hair free) you would not think l looked pre-pubescent.

Also, genuine questions. Do you remove underarm hair or leg hair? If so why does that not make you look pre-pubescent?

Do you go to the hairdressers? Does that not take away your natural appearance?

Have you ever been with a man who shaved his face? Surely that makes him look like a boy.

And if l may digress slightly, as for comments by others about men with hairy armpits, they often stink. How can deodorant properly adhere to scrubland?

Yes you’re right. It is a bit of a bug bear for me - I would never remove my pubes, it feels weird to look like a girl there and not a woman. Young girls have hair on their legs but not pits… I grew my pit hair for 3 months because my teenage son caught me shaving there and said he had no idea that women had armpit hair. So I grew it to show him. As for men, give me a bear over bare any day!

Jujujudo · 24/05/2025 12:06

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:51

Crikey with me and my friends/work colleagues no topic off limits/ high and low brow.
I stayed on a teams meeting the other day (after it had finished obvs!) where we started chatting about the the recently disgraced anti- semite and luxury belief peddler Gary knob head Linekar, but by the end it descended into which footballer you would most like to shag. ( Beckham or Ian Wright for me)

Hard choice. I think Beckham - as long as he doesn’t speak.

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 12:08

Jujujudo · 24/05/2025 12:06

Hard choice. I think Beckham - as long as he doesn’t speak.

That was the general consensus to be fair…
xx

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 24/05/2025 12:09

Jujujudo · 24/05/2025 12:04

Yes you’re right. It is a bit of a bug bear for me - I would never remove my pubes, it feels weird to look like a girl there and not a woman. Young girls have hair on their legs but not pits… I grew my pit hair for 3 months because my teenage son caught me shaving there and said he had no idea that women had armpit hair. So I grew it to show him. As for men, give me a bear over bare any day!

But a young child’s labia looks nothing like that of a woman. Hair or no hair.

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 12:10

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 10:59

Not been in Mumsnet long but I guess that does happen.
49 year old mother of 4 boys and 2 girls.
Promise x

Sorry that was for @Swanlame

still getting the hang of replying in here etc x

OP posts:
Jujujudo · 24/05/2025 12:12

StarlightLady · 24/05/2025 12:09

But a young child’s labia looks nothing like that of a woman. Hair or no hair.

I’m not going to argue with you because you’re right, I just personally think that having hair there is more womanly and being bald is more like a girl. It’s preference which is ok! I’m a hair person - would rather have hair than not, both on a woman and a man (I’m married to a man but I’m firmly bi)

Letstheriveranswer · 24/05/2025 12:13

I can't get over the fact that you are all going back to work knowing about each others pubic hair styles! To me, that's way TMI about work colleagues!

crumpet · 24/05/2025 12:18

Genitals are not aesthetically pleasing, let’s face it. Camouflage definitely helps.

ilovesooty · 24/05/2025 12:19

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 06:59

I can’t believe so many people are answering this obvious man who wants wank fodder :(

I think this is an established poster but I wouldn't dream of telling her or anyone else.
And I wouldn't have wanted to discuss it at a professional training event either.

ilovesooty · 24/05/2025 12:21

OnyourbarksGSG · 24/05/2025 07:15

I don’t care what he does. Have you honestly never discussed your pubic hair? I did just last week when I went out with friends and I’ve asked for waning recommendations 🤷🏼‍♀️. Unclutch your pearls love

No I don't discuss it when I meet friends for lunch either.

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 12:24

Letstheriveranswer · 24/05/2025 12:13

I can't get over the fact that you are all going back to work knowing about each others pubic hair styles! To me, that's way TMI about work colleagues!

Ha! True maybe- it’s probably trauma bonding due the intense stressful profession!
The down time, sometimes inappropriate humour and all that carry on give a bit of levity while firefighting all day, I think.
At the moment most the teams are coming together over weightloss jabs and OLD stories that would make your hair curl!
Just helps the day along a bit and usually all very lighthearted fun.

OP posts: