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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Full Bush or Shaven Haven?

208 replies

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 00:07

Been on a work training /away day today.
Largely female dominated professional (children’s social care)
As usual in the down time amidst all the doom n gloom of the days agenda me and colleagues get into the really important, off the record team bonding stuff - OLD, step kids, menopause, weightloss jabs, difficult teens , GcSEs, holidays, moaning about the management etc etc .
Two colleagues got into the subject of pubic hair removal (as you do in market town village hall on a Friday afternoon) as one felt strongly that the act of removing pubic hair is deeply anti- feminist. Fair point I guess.

She got lots of push back from the shaven havens, landing strippers, and trim triangle havers. Only one other person said they are au natural but caveated that with not currently in a relationship nor looking.
She went onto suggest that while for young males this is probably a natural expectation in a partner due to socialisation via pornograpgy, any man of ‘our age’ ( 40s/50s) who wouldn’t be averse to a hairless minge is virtually paedophile adjacent!!
I thought that was a bit strong to be honest.
Did get me thinking though.
I’m completely in the shaven haven camp, personally - Much prefer it. I believe I’m still a feminist though.
I go swimming most mornings and in the open changing room it occurred to me that not seen a full bush in years.

OP posts:
FlatErica · 24/05/2025 06:32

I’ve got the full bush.

ProudCat · 24/05/2025 06:32

hangingonfordearlife1 · 24/05/2025 04:31

yeh both myself and husband shave under arms. again hygiene reasons. living in middle east in 50 degree heat, hair will just trap sweat and stink.

I used to live in the middle east ... Hair doesn't 'trap' sweat, it facilitates it, and sweating is how the body regulates its temperature. In other words, shaving makes you hotter. Shower first thing, before nap, after nap, before dinner and before bed. Sweat only stinks when it's stale.

I don't shave, don't see it as a feminist issue, your body and your choice. However, see above re: hotter, have noticed over the years, including during menopause, that I seem to be generally really good at regulating body temperature. Friends who stopped shaving to see if that helped with hot flashes found it to be a positive move, also with switching from anti perspirant to deodorant.

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/05/2025 06:33

Shaven haven is a really creepy phrase.

Bellaire85 · 24/05/2025 06:37

I had laser hair removal on mine over 15 years ago (the whole lot).

Best thing I ever did! I would recommend to anyone - even if it’s just the bikini line! The convenience!!

Spanador · 24/05/2025 06:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Howaboutnah · 24/05/2025 06:43

Ew.

Globules · 24/05/2025 06:44

I always thought a bare vulva was pornified and made you look like a child. I trimmed regularly.

Following one of said conversations like the OP had, I decided to get a Brazilian aged 45 to see what I actually thought. Once I'd recovered from the pain, I really liked the look. I felt a lot cleaner. And the little bit of hair meant I didn't look like a child. So I stuck with it.

Waxer accidentally gave me a Hollywood about 18 months later. I realised I preferred the look of that even more. So I'm now an all off girl.

I never thought I'd be bare and pay to keep it up. But I am. And I'm regularly using my IPL machine to ensure it's gone for good.

LlynTegid · 24/05/2025 06:45

Personal choice.

The person who mentioned the influence of porn I agree with, though some of what porn has normalised is awful and should be an issue for women.

Zanatdy · 24/05/2025 06:45

Well when grey hairs appear in places other than your head, action needs to be taken. So now I shave it off. Its very common now not to have a full bush, I did for years though.

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 06:47

Call me old fashioned but I’d rather those working in ‘children’s social care’ maybe not be spending hours discussing their pubic hair? Bit fucking weird.

WaltzingWaters · 24/05/2025 06:54

Bitchesbelike · 24/05/2025 00:51

None of your fucking business (or
anyone elses for that matter)

does anyone expect men to carry out topiary on their bodies?!

My fiancé does trim, yes. As do I. Neither of us want to be constantly plucking stray hairs from our mouth whilst giving oral.

Also, it’s itchy and hot when I do get lazy about things!

OnyourbarksGSG · 24/05/2025 06:57

I’m 45 now and when I was younger and could see my bush, I shaved it all off every few days. Then I gained weight and gave up and went back to a glorious full bush. Fast forward 20 years and in Feb I was going on a big holiday with my DH without kids and I got a sudden impulse to get it waxed off, Hollywood style. Found a lovely woman that specialises in it and got it done a week later as a surprise. I was initially a bit worried as after 4 kids I thought she might look like the back end of a processed meat chicken when stripped of her protective coat but tbh I think my lady garden is probably the youngest looking part of me 😂😂😂. My DH was initially in shock as I didn’t warn him, it’s so not like me and totally out of character but to be honest it’s totally rejuvenated our sex life. I love how sensitive she is, how I feel so much more sensation and he can’t seem to keep his hands off me. It’s been 4 months and I think I’ll carry on tbh. I spent. 20 years in “full coat” and I’m enjoying the difference. To me, being a fully developed adult and being allowed to make that choice is what feminism is about. It’s 100% for me and not to fit in or comply with rules etc. Your body your choice

stayathomer · 24/05/2025 06:58

I’d honestly say most people don’t really care- men and women. We have these conversations and actually they’re people getting indignant about things they don’t need to

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 06:59

I can’t believe so many people are answering this obvious man who wants wank fodder :(

PermanentTemporary · 24/05/2025 07:00

I can analyse my own choices from.a feminist pov, but I still make them from my own culture (brit majority). I agree that a lot of women who don't remove hair have remarkably light/invisible pelts... I have said before on here that as a teenager I thought the 'bikini line' meant the chest, because I had hair in my cleavage and nipples. Took some years to sort that out.

Just before I turned 50 I embraced serious hair removal all over and embraced IPL and the salon. Simultaneously dived into casual sex where yes, some men like this and some men like that. But I was interested how many men do go for public hair removal these days though. Its a lot.

SillyOP · 24/05/2025 07:01

Bitchesbelike · 24/05/2025 00:51

None of your fucking business (or
anyone elses for that matter)

does anyone expect men to carry out topiary on their bodies?!

Yes

SillyOP · 24/05/2025 07:03

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 06:47

Call me old fashioned but I’d rather those working in ‘children’s social care’ maybe not be spending hours discussing their pubic hair? Bit fucking weird.

This is exactly what the patriarchy thinks is the problem with women in the workplace

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 07:05

SillyOP · 24/05/2025 07:03

This is exactly what the patriarchy thinks is the problem with women in the workplace

That makes no sense

MightAsWellBeGretel · 24/05/2025 07:06

WaltzingWaters · 24/05/2025 06:54

My fiancé does trim, yes. As do I. Neither of us want to be constantly plucking stray hairs from our mouth whilst giving oral.

Also, it’s itchy and hot when I do get lazy about things!

Exactly what I was going to say! Plenty of men shave to spare their partner a faceful of pubes during oral.

Toootss · 24/05/2025 07:07

Isn’t it itchy when it grows in? Maybe I just have a lot of hair -was shaved once before birth of my first -itched like mad growing in.

EleanorReally · 24/05/2025 07:11

i think underarm hair looks empowering

Chellybelle · 24/05/2025 07:13

YankSplaining · 24/05/2025 01:11

I’m a bisexual woman who’s not in a relationship with a woman, but yeah, I agree. Hairless vulvas make me flash back to changing my daughters’ diapers. 😱

Edited

Sorry but that's disgusting. A shaved adult woman is nothing at all like a prepubescent child and you know it. As a gay woman I've seen lots of vulvas and I've never even compared the two.

OnyourbarksGSG · 24/05/2025 07:15

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 06:59

I can’t believe so many people are answering this obvious man who wants wank fodder :(

I don’t care what he does. Have you honestly never discussed your pubic hair? I did just last week when I went out with friends and I’ve asked for waning recommendations 🤷🏼‍♀️. Unclutch your pearls love

PaulKnickerless · 24/05/2025 07:21

Your body your choice, and this applies to women and men.

SillyOP · 24/05/2025 07:21

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 07:05

That makes no sense

Stand around and waffle shit all day?