Is it normal for a masseur to offer "extras"?

[OrangeChips1]

My DH has a job which takes it's toll on his back so he gets occasional massages to try and straighten the knots out. I do give it a go but I can't get deep enough.

More often than not, it gets to the end of the massage and he's offered "extras" which really freaks him out. These are legit places in spas or gyms or on the high street with staff wearing uniforms etc.
We've noticed that when I've booked them on his behalf (as a gift or whatever) this doesn't happen.

Is it just the done thing and we're both naive about this? I never get offered any extras so I was always of the belief that a massage was a massage unless you go to a certain type of place 🤷🙈

YABU = you're naive
YANBU = that sounds like unusually bad luck

wtf?? I mean I'm a woman and know no men who have been to a spa but I thought 'extras' were for back alley places or Thailand!

No, usually a professionally qualified masseuse won’t offer extras.

That's just not a thing, OP. If you believe your husband, which I wouldn't....then I'd be lodging some pretty serious complaints to the company and/or the police.

My husband gets massages often, at many many different places and this has never happened to him once.

That's what I thought. But the latest was a high street shop in a wealthy neighborhood suburb 😖

That's a good idea. I just wasn't sure if it was one of those unspoken rules humans have that I was missing.

If this is happening regularly, your husband is doing something to encourage it, and you must live somewhere where there's a lot of secret sex work side hustles.

We've moved a lot so it's in various different locations. He doesn't want it and it upsets him so whatever he's doing to encourage it must be unconscious.

Sounds weird. Presumably your DH told you this? Either he goes to some dodgy massage places, or he's lying

If you input the name and address of the establishment and add the word “ punting” to a Google search you will pull up reviews by “punters” of sex workers. If there are sex workers operating from a venue it will definitely be reviewed and discussed online. if there are no reviews it’s not happening.

Weird.

Our local Thai massage has cctv and signs up because they specifically do NOT do this and the poor women who work there are frequently propositioned / attempt led assault

Why would he lie about it? These are places like a therapist room inside well reputed gyms etc so not, on the surface of it, dodgy

Oo thanks I'll try that!

Oh! Maybe we need to find somewhere like that. I think I'm just naive in general as my first response to what you just said was why would someone harass a masseur like that :/

So you complained to the well-reputed gym then?

This definitely happened. I mean what gym visit doesn't end with an offer of "ten dollar sucky sucky."

Honestly until now I thought we were being naive and it was just a well known but unspoken about thing that happened. I'm autistic so that sort of thing happens to me a lot. It only just occurred to me I have a room full of people who can share the real answer anonymously.

DH and I both love massages and neither of us have ever been offered "extras" with reputable therapists/spas.

Your husband is telling you that the majority of the people male or female who do massages on him are prostitutes too?

Or is this only the women?

If he books a sports massage at a physiotherapist practice this will not happen. You might pay more, but you'll only get what you pay for.

A professional massage therapist does not wank people off! It's a very intense job anyway doing massages, it's very physically tiring. If you were going to make money as a sex worker you'd be better off not bothering to pretend to be a massage therapist?!

Have you read the google reviews for the place? If there’s no mention of this in any reviews or online I think he’s pulling your leg OP.

Sorry OP, no one's whacking off punters in the back room of a fitness first! Fistfuck First maybe?

Same pattern, if I've booked with the male no, if he has gone directly, yes.

But why would he be pulling my leg about it?

As far as I'm aware this is not normal! DH does like a massage and we sometimes go to spas together. I don't think he would accept any extras!