Is it normal for a masseur to offer "extras"?

[OrangeChips1]

My DH has a job which takes it's toll on his back so he gets occasional massages to try and straighten the knots out. I do give it a go but I can't get deep enough.

More often than not, it gets to the end of the massage and he's offered "extras" which really freaks him out. These are legit places in spas or gyms or on the high street with staff wearing uniforms etc.
We've noticed that when I've booked them on his behalf (as a gift or whatever) this doesn't happen.

Is it just the done thing and we're both naive about this? I never get offered any extras so I was always of the belief that a massage was a massage unless you go to a certain type of place 🤷🙈

YABU = you're naive
YANBU = that sounds like unusually bad luck

I just can’t believe this. I have lived in a few different places around the world and love massage. From the cheap walks ins on the street, to the Spa’s of five star hotels, I have never, ever seen this. In my understanding you kind of have to seek these sort of establishments out. I remember being in one Spa in Asia, a walk in place and a guy came in and asked if he could see the girls before he booked. He was told to leave immediately and the owner, gave me a disgusted face saying she knew exactly what he wanted and wouldn’t let her staff near him. I think your husband must be winding you up or massively misunderstanding something. This is not at all common.

I agree, high end gyms and beauty places would be unikely but the Thai ones scattered around town, they are definitely dodgy!

It's the OP saying her husband claims this happened in a high end gym that I find somewhat unbelievable. I really don't think you'd get a massage without a pre-booked appointment, let alone a 'happy finish' at, say, David Lloyds!

And when they say extras have they said what they mean. I.e foot massage facial or buying a product. Extras could mean anything not just sex

She went mental, told everyone she knew and complained to the council, I think. I'm not sure where it got her. I'll ask her when I see her.

He's never having another 'treatment' ever again, anywhere haha

Glad you've said that, nowhere does the OP clarify what these 'extras' are, people are making massive assumptions! The whole post reminds me of the days when the barber would finish cutting a man's hair and ask 'Anything for the weekend Sir?'.

I haven’t read the whole threat so maybe someone has brought this up before, but the beauty salon I go to offers massages but states ‘women only’ on the website so men can’t book it. I have always presumed this is why - men ask for extras or have suggested them and it makes the staff uncomfortable.

What assumptions?

Posters have outlined what they've interpreted OP's use of 'extras' to mean repeatedly throughout the thread. At no point has OP corrected them and said, oh no, I'm talking about a foot rub, not anything sexual.

Moreover:

• Why would OP’s husband be ‘freaked out’ by being offered a foot rub in addition to a back massage?
• Why would OP and husband consider this ‘dodgy’?
• Why would the masseur’s ‘suggestively’ ‘brush up against him’ when offering a foot rub as an ‘extra’?
• Why would anyone be ‘distressed’ about that, far less ponder why others haven’t complained or got the place shut down?

These are all things the OP has said in her posts.

When I was offered a happy ending in Thailand I could not have run out of that place fast enough!

I've absolutely been offered extras when having a massage in Bristol. It tends to be botox or a hand massage or gel nails. Your dh could just smile and say 'not today, thanks!'

All the wives thinking their men go to masseusers for health reasons 😂

Has he never tried a male / masseur? Or is poor ‘upset and complaining’ DH too afraid a masseur will also fall victim to his charms?

Your DH is likely a fantasist who gets off making this up and telling you this BS.

If you believe him, call the police. Now. I cannot stress this enough. Because if it's real and you have even an ounce of empathy and social responsibility in you, then you likely have a situation here where real women are being trafficked into prostitution in broad daylight and you have a duty to report it.

Thanks @OrangeChips1 for an epic thread.

the question, the replies, going on to punting website, the disbelief from everyone that coz their DH hadn’t mentioned it then yours must be lying.

I believe your DH also, it’s been very entertaining

Totally agree, I’m utterly fed up of this attitude that massage therapist = sex worker, it’s so disrespectful and it’s really not that difficult to find professional practitioners. I’m a chartered physio but also trained in complementary therapies and there are many therapists working from home or as sole practitioners who will only treat women because they have to dissuade those men who think that physical therapies are sexual. Sadly from this thread it seems that there are women who believe this too! For anyone in doubt ,check that your therapist is registered and insured via a professional organisation and report anyone who is breaching professional boundaries, it’s really not that difficult.

Don’t be stupid, you think the majority of us are married to men who pay sex workers? I think the man who comes to our house and massages my husband in our lounge will probably disagree with your presumption.

"Extras" are pretty common although often the customer has to ask for them or it'll be done in code ("would you like me to finish off" or similar). It's usually only in brothels/Thai massage places that sexual services are expected though.

My friend was offered a happy ending at a massage parlour in London, I think it looked like a sleazy kind of place though.

Not sure why you assume OP's husband is making it up that he gets offered extras, rather than believing your husband that he doesn't.

Because he's saying that it happens more than 50% of the time when he attends professional gyms and therapists rooms. And still he keeps going!

If he'd said it happened once, or even occasionally, I think that might have flown. I'd have bought that.

But his rather large claims smack of someone, to me, who is either a fantasist or who wants to keep his wife on her toes by presenting himself as such a devastatingly attractive specimen, that professional masseuses are routinely willing to risk their jobs and reputations for a chance to wank him off for a small fee.

@PawsAndTails yes all checked and it still happens. It's a shame when you want a legitimate treatment.

This is so so sad that they have to do that. I’m so angry!

Who has told you this

😂

Of course women only go to masseurs for health reasons, don't they?

apparently, for some posters we all go to get sexual favours and we all are flattered to be propositioned.

I am trying to imagine what I would feel if a therapist - male or female - was offering more intimate acts, and I am not a prude but I think that would make me feel either dirty or so unsafe that I would get out immediately.

But apparently clients feel "flattered"