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Original poster

Is it normal for a masseur to offer "extras"?

328 replies

OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 09:26

My DH has a job which takes it's toll on his back so he gets occasional massages to try and straighten the knots out. I do give it a go but I can't get deep enough.

More often than not, it gets to the end of the massage and he's offered "extras" which really freaks him out. These are legit places in spas or gyms or on the high street with staff wearing uniforms etc.
We've noticed that when I've booked them on his behalf (as a gift or whatever) this doesn't happen.

Is it just the done thing and we're both naive about this? I never get offered any extras so I was always of the belief that a massage was a massage unless you go to a certain type of place 🤷🙈

YABU = you're naive
YANBU = that sounds like unusually bad luck

OP posts:
Thetravelingtiger · 12/05/2025 10:38

For everyone saying being offered extras is not normal...I'm afraid I have a husband with a disability and he needs weekly massages. We live in a big UK city and im sad to say that he has been offered extras in the majority of places... he's always told me and been upfront and he's not the sort to lie. So im sure some people will think this is nonsense but from someone who knows trust me it could well be true.

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:41

OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:34

Google reviews didn't say anything and punting website (whole new world!!!) said "does this place offer extras" but noone had replied. It's a small place not a big city so not sure if that makes a difference

Show quote history

Actually I just googled another one and it's on the punting website! You'd never guess from the shop front

OP posts:
PawsAndTails · 12/05/2025 10:41

Thetravelingtiger · 12/05/2025 10:38

For everyone saying being offered extras is not normal...I'm afraid I have a husband with a disability and he needs weekly massages. We live in a big UK city and im sad to say that he has been offered extras in the majority of places... he's always told me and been upfront and he's not the sort to lie. So im sure some people will think this is nonsense but from someone who knows trust me it could well be true.

Have you checked out what level of qualifications and professional registrations these massage therapists carry?

PiggyPigalle · 12/05/2025 10:41

OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:22

Yeh we'll start doing this.

Show quote history

You say "we", why are you involved, let him book his own massages. Surprised he hasn't found one he likes (male) and sticks with them.
He sounds like an attention seeker, embroidering a boring massage to make an interesting tale.
Does he also think that women who are polite and friendly are "coming on to him"?

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:43

PawsAndTails · 12/05/2025 10:37

Maybe they've said, "Would you like to hear about the extras we offer?"meaning things like aromatherapy oils, hand massage, aura massage, scalp massage, reflexology, all kind of options. And he says no assuming they mean something else?

It's possible! I will ask

OP posts:
Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:45

Thetravelingtiger · 12/05/2025 10:38

For everyone saying being offered extras is not normal...I'm afraid I have a husband with a disability and he needs weekly massages. We live in a big UK city and im sad to say that he has been offered extras in the majority of places... he's always told me and been upfront and he's not the sort to lie. So im sure some people will think this is nonsense but from someone who knows trust me it could well be true.

Thank you for this. Many are piling on to say he's lying or has a fetish or something but now I explicitly know two of the places (the place in India and one on the punting website) do offer extras and he definitely wasn't imagining it.

OP posts:
Andoutcomethewolves · 12/05/2025 10:46

Yeah, no. I have massages regularly and have once been offered a 'happy ending' at a dodgy place in Thailand (funnily enough was not interested - I'm a woman, not gay and not into casual sex with a random Thai teenager 😅)Every other masseuse I've experienced has been lovely and professional

For this to be happening repeatedly to your husband he must be misunderstanding what they mean by 'extras'. Which says a bit about him really...

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:46

PiggyPigalle · 12/05/2025 10:41

You say "we", why are you involved, let him book his own massages. Surprised he hasn't found one he likes (male) and sticks with them.
He sounds like an attention seeker, embroidering a boring massage to make an interesting tale.
Does he also think that women who are polite and friendly are "coming on to him"?

Show quote history

Because he comes to me distressed about it.

Those suggesting it's obvious...the one I found on the punting website really really isn't. It looks like a reputable shop. No mention on Google reviews. I wouldn't have known if it wasn't for the punting website

OP posts:
MichaelandKirk · 12/05/2025 10:48

I had a friend who used to own a beauty salon in a very leafy part of the Home Counties.

She would get at least 1-2 calls a day from men asking if there were any Happy Endings?

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:49

Andoutcomethewolves · 12/05/2025 10:46

Yeah, no. I have massages regularly and have once been offered a 'happy ending' at a dodgy place in Thailand (funnily enough was not interested - I'm a woman, not gay and not into casual sex with a random Thai teenager 😅)Every other masseuse I've experienced has been lovely and professional

For this to be happening repeatedly to your husband he must be misunderstanding what they mean by 'extras'. Which says a bit about him really...

This is possible. I'll ask. It's plausible that he once got offered extras explicitly, and now any time anything even innocent happens that memory is triggered.
Everything else mentioned (he imagined it, it's a fetish, it's some long game he's playing to cheat in years to come) sounds a bit far fetched and a lot of effort for a couple of minutes fun!

OP posts:
GarlicPile · 12/05/2025 10:49

Thetravelingtiger · 12/05/2025 10:38

For everyone saying being offered extras is not normal...I'm afraid I have a husband with a disability and he needs weekly massages. We live in a big UK city and im sad to say that he has been offered extras in the majority of places... he's always told me and been upfront and he's not the sort to lie. So im sure some people will think this is nonsense but from someone who knows trust me it could well be true.

I did read an article - it was in the Economist or something, not the Daily Express - saying that female masseuses were under so much pressure for 'additional services' that they couldn't keep their businesses going without providing what the customers wanted.

They interviewed some women who'd ended up sectioning their treatment rooms, half for the service they set out to provide and the other half for what had now become their bread and butter business. It was pretty sad. They all said they were going to pack it in once their leases were up.

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:51

MichaelandKirk · 12/05/2025 10:48

I had a friend who used to own a beauty salon in a very leafy part of the Home Counties.

She would get at least 1-2 calls a day from men asking if there were any Happy Endings?

I think people, rich or poor, are often lonely so that doesn't surprise me!

OP posts:
Hummusandcrisps · 12/05/2025 10:52

I think it does happen. My home town is a small sleepy town and a friend discovered her husband had been visiting a massage parlour which looked legit from the outside, great reviews but was also offering extras. Another massage place locally has had to post on social media to ask for men to stop coming in asking for extra services because they absolutely do not offer that.

Many years ago I (female) went away for work to Vietnam. I went to get a massage in a place recommended by colleagues and the hotel. It seemed like a lovely place, upmarket. Without thinking it through - i asked for a private room. I asked because I was on a 3 week work trip and just wanted some time away from my colleagues and didn't want to have a massage in 1 big room with them. All was fine but when the massage started, the masseuse climbed onto the bed and it felt like she was crawling/walking along my back so I asked her to stop and told her I wanted a relaxing massage with oils. Well, that gave her the wrong impression! I then had to ask her to stop the massage altogether 20 mins later when she started touching me inappropriately, I was mortified. I didn't complain and none of my colleagues were offered anything. I was so embarrassed but this did not look like a seedy massage place at all.

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:52

GarlicPile · 12/05/2025 10:49

I did read an article - it was in the Economist or something, not the Daily Express - saying that female masseuses were under so much pressure for 'additional services' that they couldn't keep their businesses going without providing what the customers wanted.

They interviewed some women who'd ended up sectioning their treatment rooms, half for the service they set out to provide and the other half for what had now become their bread and butter business. It was pretty sad. They all said they were going to pack it in once their leases were up.

Show quote history

Oh no :(
That's really sad

OP posts:
Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:55

Hummusandcrisps · 12/05/2025 10:52

I think it does happen. My home town is a small sleepy town and a friend discovered her husband had been visiting a massage parlour which looked legit from the outside, great reviews but was also offering extras. Another massage place locally has had to post on social media to ask for men to stop coming in asking for extra services because they absolutely do not offer that.

Many years ago I (female) went away for work to Vietnam. I went to get a massage in a place recommended by colleagues and the hotel. It seemed like a lovely place, upmarket. Without thinking it through - i asked for a private room. I asked because I was on a 3 week work trip and just wanted some time away from my colleagues and didn't want to have a massage in 1 big room with them. All was fine but when the massage started, the masseuse climbed onto the bed and it felt like she was crawling/walking along my back so I asked her to stop and told her I wanted a relaxing massage with oils. Well, that gave her the wrong impression! I then had to ask her to stop the massage altogether 20 mins later when she started touching me inappropriately, I was mortified. I didn't complain and none of my colleagues were offered anything. I was so embarrassed but this did not look like a seedy massage place at all.

Oh gosh! I wouldn't have wanted a massage in a big room with all my colleagues either and it wouldn't have occured to me that asking for a private space would suggest I wanted more 🙈

OP posts:
Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:56

Divebar2021 · 12/05/2025 09:36

If you input the name and address of the establishment and add the word “ punting” to a Google search you will pull up reviews by “punters” of sex workers. If there are sex workers operating from a venue it will definitely be reviewed and discussed online. if there are no reviews it’s not happening.

Thank you for this very helpful tip!

OP posts:
Augustus40 · 12/05/2025 10:56

I am surprised to hear that beauty salons have offered this.

It is only brothels that do this was a rule.

Must be the cost of living affecting custom!

The places that say 'we do all kinds of massage' on the door are always brothels. They can be found everwhere.

lowlight · 12/05/2025 10:57

Of course its not normal.
Your husband clearly has fantasies about being offered extras......

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 10:58

Augustus40 · 12/05/2025 10:56

I am surprised to hear that beauty salons have offered this.

It is only brothels that do this was a rule.

Must be the cost of living affecting custom!

The places that say 'we do all kinds of massage' on the door are always brothels. They can be found everwhere.

Ah okay...see this is the type of code I wouldn't understand, thinking "all types" mean aromatherapy, deep tissue etc. I think it could be COL as before she offered the extras she was saying how they don't get many customers anymore, the place is usually empty etc

OP posts:
Jenasaurus · 12/05/2025 10:58

I was offered a extra of a hand massage when I went for one, this was literally massaging my hands and helping remove the stress from all my digits, if he was offered a hand massage as an extra, could he have confused it with a hand job

Tigergirl80 · 12/05/2025 11:01

Motomum23 · 12/05/2025 09:28

wtf?? I mean I'm a woman and know no men who have been to a spa but I thought 'extras' were for back alley places or Thailand!

You would be surprised there was a massage parlour where I live 20 or so years back. We all knew it was a brothel.

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 11:02

Jenasaurus · 12/05/2025 10:58

I was offered a extra of a hand massage when I went for one, this was literally massaging my hands and helping remove the stress from all my digits, if he was offered a hand massage as an extra, could he have confused it with a hand job

Yeh this is possible

OP posts:
Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 12/05/2025 11:03

Tigergirl80 · 12/05/2025 11:01

You would be surprised there was a massage parlour where I live 20 or so years back. We all knew it was a brothel.

Show quote history

This is the thing, I think there are places where ppl "in the know" know and some ppl are oblivious

OP posts:
MsCactus · 12/05/2025 11:03

This has absolutely never happened to me or my husband, or anyone I know! I'm based in the UK.

I'd be suspicious of my husband if he said this - is he propositioning them?? It's very unusual...

MsCactus · 12/05/2025 11:04

Jenasaurus · 12/05/2025 10:58

I was offered a extra of a hand massage when I went for one, this was literally massaging my hands and helping remove the stress from all my digits, if he was offered a hand massage as an extra, could he have confused it with a hand job

Yes I have had this offered before. Maybe OPs husband is getting confused?