Is it normal for a masseur to offer "extras"?

[OrangeChips1]

My DH has a job which takes it's toll on his back so he gets occasional massages to try and straighten the knots out. I do give it a go but I can't get deep enough.

More often than not, it gets to the end of the massage and he's offered "extras" which really freaks him out. These are legit places in spas or gyms or on the high street with staff wearing uniforms etc.
We've noticed that when I've booked them on his behalf (as a gift or whatever) this doesn't happen.

Is it just the done thing and we're both naive about this? I never get offered any extras so I was always of the belief that a massage was a massage unless you go to a certain type of place 🤷🙈

YABU = you're naive
YANBU = that sounds like unusually bad luck

Call them and ask them to explain what 'extras' are.

Basically sound like a hand job or something similar. Extra dosh for the masseuse.

I had a date with a man who told me after his divorce he regularly went to massage parlours locally to us (all look above board, just like hairdressers in the high street). He said it was commonplace.

needless to say we never had a second date...

Yeh we'll start doing this.

They said it more nicely than I did - and tbh I have mainly seen that when I lived in Australia. The signs were aimed at [male] customers though, not women.

I mean, my therapist usually says, can I get you anything before I leave you to get dressed. I assumed she meant a mint tea, or some wipes to get the oil off, but now you've got me wondering!

😃 Joking, of course they are not offering sex. He's deluded

I did have an unpleasant experience with a hairdresser. I was a student and went late on a midweek evening to take advantage of the student discount. I was the only person there and he had an erection when doing my hair and then tried to kiss me when I paid him. I never went back but I never reported him either. I now work at the same university I studied at and he is still just up the road working as a hairdresser with his WIFE, who was also working at the salon at the time this happened. Shame, he was a fantastic hairdresser but I wish I'd had the nerve to report it as who knows how many other women and girls he has tried this with.

I was going to say, he’d be better off seeing an osteopath!

Punters have their own site that they post reviews to… I can’t remember the name but it has punting in the name. The whole site is dedicated to sharing experiences with sex workers. We have a “ Chinese Herbal” place in my town and I saw a guy coming out of it who just didn’t look like he was into herbal medicine. He was making a show of rolling his shoulder like he had an injury. When I did a “ punting “ search on the location I could see from reviews that it was a brothel. I didn’t have to log into anything to see it. I was just interested in confirming my suspicions that was all.

Yes, I've had lots of different types of physical therapists of different disciplines, male and female, undo and do up my bra too. They are never anything other than completely professional.

Is it a fetish/kink thing for him maybe? Telling you this happened is some sort of turn on for him?

I’m sorry, something very odd is going on here.
Regular gyms / spas and high street spas in normal towns in the uk do not offer extras. Even on the remote chance it had happened once by a rougue place, there is no way it would be happening multiple times in various towns / locations.

Only one of a few options is really happening here:
Your DH is lying. For what reason, god knows. People do all sorts of odd things.
More likely: OP is telling a tall tale to get attention and replies. For what reason, god knows but as I said, people are odd.

If he keeps being offered these services and they make him uncomfortable why does he keep going?

You said you've moved a few times so this isn't happening in one isolated place.

He can't trust that they have his dignity and comfort in mind so honestly why does he keep going?

I was offered an extra of a special (can’t remember the term) at chsmpneys recently. It was an additional hand massage (had extra cream/oils and plastic gloves while rest of back masssge was given). To be honest it wasn’t great but it was only £10 and it was legit and not dodgy. Otherwise I agree with other posters.

Here are some reviews from my local “massage spa”. I have attached photos hopefully they won’t be under review for long.

If your DH is going to a reputable massage spa and is being offered a happy ending then he will not be the first person this has happened to and I imagine the reviews will be full of bad reviews!

I’m still team he’s making it up.

Made up post I’d say.

There are months/years between these things but eventually his back issues get to him. I think each times he's tried more and more legit places to mitigate these things and it hasn't worked

I wonder if he's misinterpreting what they say...

So did you bother googling it as suggested above?

Oh, thanks! I've got enough to go on to definitely make a complaint about the last one!

I had a bloke tell me something I’d said to him once. He quoted me. I smiled at him, looking in his eyes… he seemed to believe what he was saying. I never said what he quoted. I never said anything like it, even. I realised he’d been fantasising about me and believed his own fantasy.

Google reviews didn't say anything and punting website (whole new world!!!) said "does this place offer extras" but noone had replied. It's a small place not a big city so not sure if that makes a difference

I think he's talking absolute bollocks and trying to make you jealous! I don't think people would risk losing their registration/insurance!

Well then he needs to see a physio/msk/osteo specialist. Not a masseuse.

If you kept being touched up, or letched at, or someone kept making inappropriate comments to you and you had identified a pattern of behaviour would you go back?

Either he has absolutely no self respect, is absolutely obliviously and naive or he likes the offer and can't keep his gob shut so he's running his mouth to you to spin a yarn.

Ha. Good point 😂 Might the 'extras' have been things like Indian Head Massage, Lymphatic Drainage, Swedish or Thai, Four Hands and Trigger Point Massage?

Maybe they've said, "Would you like to hear about the extras we offer?"meaning things like aromatherapy oils, hand massage, aura massage, scalp massage, reflexology, all kind of options. And he says no assuming they mean something else?