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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband getting married

663 replies

Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 15:53

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
IsitaHatOrACat · 30/03/2025 15:54

Yanbu to report. No idea who to though!!

Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 15:54

I thought after a period of time of no contact it means you’re divorced (I’m wrong)

NotDarkGothicMama · 30/03/2025 15:54

Bigamy is illegal, so YANBU. His new wife would be in an extremely hard place if they split up and she found out she didn't have the legal protections of marriage.

I assume you were legally married, not just a religious ceremony with no legal status in this country.

Boomer55 · 30/03/2025 15:55

If you're definitely not divorced, and he's definitely getting wed, then, yes, report him.

NotDarkGothicMama · 30/03/2025 15:55

Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 15:54

I thought after a period of time of no contact it means you’re divorced (I’m wrong)

Edited

Not unless one of the parties files for and is granted a divorce.

Ooorhead · 30/03/2025 15:55

How did you hear?

SoftPlaySaturdays · 30/03/2025 15:56

Our county asks people to phone the non-emergency police number, odd as that sounds. Check on your police force's website.

Sulu17 · 30/03/2025 15:56

As someone else said, maybe it's one of those religious ceremonies in another country that wouldn't be recognised here. The poor woman.

Original poster
Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 15:59

First time poster, do not know how to answer specific questions..he has invited his children.🤔

OP posts:
JaneBoulton · 30/03/2025 15:59

How could he even get married if he's married to you? Perhaps he's filing for divorce?

Ooorhead · 30/03/2025 16:00

Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 15:59

First time poster, do not know how to answer specific questions..he has invited his children.🤔

Edited

Ok
and so he’s obviously not least bit ashamed
what’s their response?

Ooorhead · 30/03/2025 16:00

I’d expect to receive some papers in the post next week op

WinWhenTheyreSinging · 30/03/2025 16:01

Ooorhead · 30/03/2025 16:00

I’d expect to receive some papers in the post next week op

How would that help when his (illegal) wedding is next week?

BinChicken1 · 30/03/2025 16:02

…did his children not say “hey, dad, aren’t you still married to mum?” and if so, did he not give them any explanation?

annabianca · 30/03/2025 16:02

Why haven't you divorced yet? It has lots of legal implications and complications.

offmynut · 30/03/2025 16:05

If he couldnt be bothered to file for divorce why didnt you file for it.

Original poster
Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 16:05

He is getting married next week and i have had no divorce papers, im informed that you have to notify authorities 3 months in advance, so that doesnt add up.
Unless it is a non legal promise type of thing, yeah i feel sorry for the lady in question , because we are 100 % still married.

OP posts:
APATEKPHILLIPEWATCH · 30/03/2025 16:06

Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 15:54

I thought after a period of time of no contact it means you’re divorced (I’m wrong)

Edited

It still has to be formalised

ginnitonic · 30/03/2025 16:06

If you are in the UK you should ring 101 and report it to the police. You can get 7 years in prison for bigamy.

Nosaucelikemintsauce · 30/03/2025 16:09

Obviously you do nothing until after The Big Day. He hasn't committed a crime yet.
Then report and enjoy.....

Bingbopboomboomboombopbam · 30/03/2025 16:09

How come you guys never divorced?

Okbyethen · 30/03/2025 16:09

You could go to the wedding and when they asks if anyone objects you could stand up and say 'me!' EastEnders style lol 😄

SeaBaseAlpha · 30/03/2025 16:10

Please tell me you have a valid will in place…

maximist · 30/03/2025 16:11

Nosaucelikemintsauce · 30/03/2025 16:09

Obviously you do nothing until after The Big Day. He hasn't committed a crime yet.
Then report and enjoy.....

My thoughts exactly!

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 30/03/2025 16:13

I would have to find out more info first.

Is it true or just something you heard?
Is it a legal marriage or just a religious or ceremonial non-legal ceremony?
Is he going to a country where bigamy is legal? Kenya or Senegal for example?