Page 26 | Husband getting married

Grassisalotgreener · 2025-03-30T14:53:04+00:00

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week . Should i inform someone in authority? Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

llizzie · 02/04/2025 15:30

Somanyoption · 02/04/2025 06:51

I think a good many posters are into research - or writing theses for their doctorate.

@llizzie you are joking…. Right?

How else can you explain the nastiness of some posters on this and other threads? The figure on the Old Bailey is blindfolded for a reason.

''you are joking ....right?'' How helpful do you think that is to the OP and others attempting to help? Why should I joke?

To me, it is better to believe that someone is researching into the psychological effect on vulnerable people than that it comes second nature to be spiteful.

On another thread, I objected to bad language. Someone posted that if I didn't like swearing and bad language, and nastiness, I shouldn't be a member of Mumsnet. Mumsnet is a public arena. The law says:

Public Order Act 1986:
This act criminalizes public order offenses, including using threatening, abusive, or insulting words or behavior, or displaying such representations, within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm, or distress.

.

SoloSofa24 · 02/04/2025 15:46

llizzie · 02/04/2025 15:30

How else can you explain the nastiness of some posters on this and other threads? The figure on the Old Bailey is blindfolded for a reason.

''you are joking ....right?'' How helpful do you think that is to the OP and others attempting to help? Why should I joke?

To me, it is better to believe that someone is researching into the psychological effect on vulnerable people than that it comes second nature to be spiteful.

On another thread, I objected to bad language. Someone posted that if I didn't like swearing and bad language, and nastiness, I shouldn't be a member of Mumsnet. Mumsnet is a public arena. The law says:

Public Order Act 1986:
This act criminalizes public order offenses, including using threatening, abusive, or insulting words or behavior, or displaying such representations, within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm, or distress.

.

Show quote history

Completely beside the point, but it is an urban myth that the statue of justice at the Old Bailey is blindfolded. She is not (some other statues of this figure are, I think) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Statue_Of_%27Justice%27_Old_Bailey.jpg

File:Statue Of 'Justice' Old Bailey.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Statue_Of_'Justice'_Old_Bailey.jpg

Nameychangington · 02/04/2025 15:57

llizzie · 02/04/2025 15:30

How else can you explain the nastiness of some posters on this and other threads? The figure on the Old Bailey is blindfolded for a reason.

''you are joking ....right?'' How helpful do you think that is to the OP and others attempting to help? Why should I joke?

To me, it is better to believe that someone is researching into the psychological effect on vulnerable people than that it comes second nature to be spiteful.

On another thread, I objected to bad language. Someone posted that if I didn't like swearing and bad language, and nastiness, I shouldn't be a member of Mumsnet. Mumsnet is a public arena. The law says:

Public Order Act 1986:
This act criminalizes public order offenses, including using threatening, abusive, or insulting words or behavior, or displaying such representations, within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm, or distress.

.

Show quote history

You are being very odd on someone else's thread.

If you want to talk about whatever it is that's concerning you, you can make your own thread.

llizzie · 02/04/2025 16:03

Nameychangington · 02/04/2025 15:57

You are being very odd on someone else's thread.

If you want to talk about whatever it is that's concerning you, you can make your own thread.

Show quote history

I think the OP has been upset by the posts she has received from some posters.

It is not nice to insult anyone. If people cannot say something nice, or helpful, and not judge the OP, it is best they say nothing.

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/04/2025 16:55

I’m shocked that in 2025 how behind Ireland still is in relation to divorce esp due to DV

Psychoticbreak · 02/04/2025 18:07

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/04/2025 16:55

I’m shocked that in 2025 how behind Ireland still is in relation to divorce esp due to DV

We have no fault divorce here so DV does not come into it. You just get divorced there is no blame apportioned.

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/04/2025 18:28

Psychoticbreak · 02/04/2025 18:07

We have no fault divorce here so DV does not come into it. You just get divorced there is no blame apportioned.

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You are in Ireland @Psychoticbreak?
I thought reading what op said it was hard to divorce

Psychoticbreak · 02/04/2025 18:34

@Blondeshavemorefun I am in Ireland. It is hard to get divorced. It takes bloody forever and my own took 7 years. My point is that it doesnt make a difference why you have separated it takes as long for people who just dont want to be married anymore to someone who has been abused, we just divorce or separate, the reasons for why the split happens is not a part of it so it cannot be rushed any quicker.

Mayana1 · 02/04/2025 19:35

Ooorhead · 30/03/2025 17:03

Op he has well and truly moved on clearly

will your children be attending?

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I get what you are saying, but I think OP is worried that he will come on her physically if she does anything to prevent the wedding to happen. (Though it is solely his fault not to divorce her).

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/04/2025 19:47

Psychoticbreak · 02/04/2025 18:34

@Blondeshavemorefun I am in Ireland. It is hard to get divorced. It takes bloody forever and my own took 7 years. My point is that it doesnt make a difference why you have separated it takes as long for people who just dont want to be married anymore to someone who has been abused, we just divorce or separate, the reasons for why the split happens is not a part of it so it cannot be rushed any quicker.

Gotcha. Thanks

wonder why it’s so hard

7yr sounds awful

Psychoticbreak · 02/04/2025 22:14

@Blondeshavemorefun genuinely a case of 'to be sure to be sure to be sure'. So Irish lol

Onceisenoughta · 02/04/2025 23:02

Just checked my archives that have gathered dust in the wardrobe for the last 16 years.. estranged abusive husband was granted Decree Nisi in 2013 so it took 4 years to get to that point, 6 weeks later we could have got the Decree Absolute but he refused to attend mediation for financials & pensions - why? 12 years later no further forward. So yes Divorce can take a long time - punish the bitch for taking off with another man and humiliating the abusive husband. Yes he was granted a divorce on the grounds of my adultery with co-respondent but it was worth it just to be able to live my life without abuse. Some other mug will be getting it now, and I know she is, 100%.

Mayana1 · 02/04/2025 23:49

Nameychangington · 30/03/2025 19:18

You can get a divorce in the UK without the spouses consent ,but not without their knowledge.

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The OP is trying to say, she is not in the UK.

Nameychangington · 03/04/2025 07:36

Mayana1 · 02/04/2025 23:49

The OP is trying to say, she is not in the UK.

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Yes OP clarified that, after I posted.

Psychoticbreak · 03/04/2025 08:48

Onceisenoughta · 02/04/2025 23:02

Just checked my archives that have gathered dust in the wardrobe for the last 16 years.. estranged abusive husband was granted Decree Nisi in 2013 so it took 4 years to get to that point, 6 weeks later we could have got the Decree Absolute but he refused to attend mediation for financials & pensions - why? 12 years later no further forward. So yes Divorce can take a long time - punish the bitch for taking off with another man and humiliating the abusive husband. Yes he was granted a divorce on the grounds of my adultery with co-respondent but it was worth it just to be able to live my life without abuse. Some other mug will be getting it now, and I know she is, 100%.

The op is in Ireland so this is not the same here. I also got divorced in 2013 in Ireland but we dont have decree nisi or absolute we just get a letter basically saying we are divorce. Pension hearing is 6 weeks later and once it has been finalised on the day of divorce no need for either party to turn up here. We also have no fault divorce so does not matter if someone cheated, was violence etc a divorce is just a divorce, nobody gets to take or recieve blame here.

Neversayit · 03/04/2025 08:48

Nameychangington · 03/04/2025 07:36

Yes OP clarified that, after I posted.

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Actually, she had said where she was (four times!) before you posted the remark pp quoted.

Sorry, I’m just being grumpy now, but threads would be much more useful if people just read all the OP’s posts before posting themselves.

AcrossthePond55 · 03/04/2025 16:53

xx

Quack3rs · 07/04/2025 07:43

You can get legally separated after 5 years without the consent of the spouse. The court will email you a link to the documents or post them. Have you changed email address or where you live? Chances are, you could be divorced and just not seen the paperwork for some reason. The divorce will be registered somewhere. Maybe the registry office local to him or you would be where I would look first. In my opinion, if he was committing a crime then surely it would be done on the quiet and not want to risk you finding out.

WheresYourSnickers · 07/04/2025 07:46

Quack3rs · 07/04/2025 07:43

You can get legally separated after 5 years without the consent of the spouse. The court will email you a link to the documents or post them. Have you changed email address or where you live? Chances are, you could be divorced and just not seen the paperwork for some reason. The divorce will be registered somewhere. Maybe the registry office local to him or you would be where I would look first. In my opinion, if he was committing a crime then surely it would be done on the quiet and not want to risk you finding out.

FFS! 🤬😠 RTFT

Psychoticbreak · 07/04/2025 07:58

Quack3rs · 07/04/2025 07:43

You can get legally separated after 5 years without the consent of the spouse. The court will email you a link to the documents or post them. Have you changed email address or where you live? Chances are, you could be divorced and just not seen the paperwork for some reason. The divorce will be registered somewhere. Maybe the registry office local to him or you would be where I would look first. In my opinion, if he was committing a crime then surely it would be done on the quiet and not want to risk you finding out.

Not in Ireland where about 4 thousand pages ago it was established the OP is.

ThatFairDeer · 14/04/2025 11:29

So is there any update on whether the wedding went ahead?

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 14/04/2025 12:17

ThatFairDeer · 14/04/2025 11:29

So is there any update on whether the wedding went ahead?

Nope. She said she won't be posting here anymore. The thread descended into attacks and scared her off. Nice one, MN.

Original poster

Grassisalotgreener · 14/04/2025 23:23

I have it on good authority that the wedding took place , however i still have no idea what kind of wedding it was. It does not change my life in any way, i am happy and free.
I do not require any further advice so unhelpful comments arent required.
Once an arsehole always an arsehole, absolutely no respect for anybody, not even himself.
Im good with my decision!
Slán

OP posts:

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/04/2025 00:06

Grassisalotgreener · 14/04/2025 23:23

I have it on good authority that the wedding took place , however i still have no idea what kind of wedding it was. It does not change my life in any way, i am happy and free.
I do not require any further advice so unhelpful comments arent required.
Once an arsehole always an arsehole, absolutely no respect for anybody, not even himself.
Im good with my decision!
Slán

I wish you health and wealth. I dont need to wish you wisdom, as you clearly already have that.

Much love xx

pollymere · 15/04/2025 00:23

I shall pray to St Joshua that any further information comes via the news headlines. I'm glad you're rid of him x His sins will find him out I'm sure.