Husband getting married

[Grassisalotgreener]

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

Hallelujah, this exactly.

And you don’t think they would be the slightest bit curious

What financial control does he have over you?

Honestly I would do nothing.

I know that sounds crass because there are other people involved here, but if the risk to your safety is there if he finds out you told then it’s not a risk worth taking, even if it does mean he’s committed bigamy. It’s not your problem to resolve.

Is it bad that I’d of just kept my mouth shut and my will safe tight…

My thoughts exactly.

you phone 101, it's a police matter.

Assuming that you are both British nationals and were married in the UK…
Going by my own experience, I had to provide my decree absolute from my first marriage when booking the registrar for my second marriage.

Same here. In which case I wonder if it’s a commitment ceremony, although what’s the point of that?!

Ok too many to reply singular.
Im feeling confused and wee bit fragile today, so go easy on me.
Im in Irish Republic, he left me homeless and penniless with young children, took no responsibilty for his actions. I concentrated on my children and rebuilding our home, i worked my arse off to "fix" everything he broke including our children.
I am in family home he knows the address , no divorce papers have been delivered, no confusion as to whether he thinks he is divorced. A drunken phone call/ texts last year about divorce that went on / off for 5 hours, threatened to call guards.
NO divorce papers arrived
I am lucky i survived his assault and i am not in any haste to upset him, i am a strong independant woman and i know how to survive, so not in a hurry to kick up any shit.

Go to a solicitor, in the free half hour they give, to see where you stand. Or phone the citizens advice bureau, if it is a different country. He wouldn’t know unless you or the DCs told him,

If he wants a legal marriage he will want a divorce, therefore he will pay at no cost to you, as he will not want any upset.

His future wife probably wouldn’t want to marry him if it wasn’t a real commitment, to be fair to her she is probably innocent.

Republic of Ireland

I do wish more people would read what you have actually said.

If you wanted to be brutal, have a quick chat to a solicitor and get the divorce papers served on him at the 'wedding'

That way you are releasing him
while also not dragging him back into your life
while also making a point

BUT
the key thing is to get your divorce finalised ASAP so that you can no longer be dragged into his orbit.
A few hundred pounds on a solicitor invested now
will pay good returns

If you fear hassle/violence/harassment etc I’d be tempted to keep quiet. Look after yourself here.

To everyone here - what would happen to OP legally if she did nothing? Would she be in trouble?

Honestly OP this isn’t your problem.

At the end of the day you’re reporting to get him in trouble, which is perfectly understandable, but is potentially going to hurt you in the long run.

You’re the most important person here. If he’s prepared to break the law then that’s on him.

And actually bigamy is punishable by prison sentence, so I’d be inclined to leave him to it and hope the law catches up with him at some point.

As for the new wife, she’s not your problem.

Nope. She’s not the one committing the crime.

His second marriage will be null but his first marriage to the OP will remain legal.

Nobody could actually believe that, could they? It's idiotic.

She hasn’t committed a crime so no issue for her other than in a divorcee him coming after some assets.

For him his committed a crime, the new wife would have zero legal rights or protection once uncovered as she wouldn’t of ever been his legal wife a voided marriage and op can go for part of all is his assets including shared with her if no financial split was done.

Your adult children close to him and attending the wedding?

have they not asked you whether you’re actually divorced?

My friends ex has recently purchased a new house with his new partner. No divorce or financially separation. Fools and their money.

It’s also worth more than the original marital home with the new partner putting in a hearty but not ring fenced deposit 😬 friend only knows this as their oldest shared daughter is a wee bit of a snooper

Say and do nothing OP. You'll find this is not a registered wedding at all, do the kids know where it's taking place? I'd say they're doing that big party blessing thing people often do after they head off to a registry office. Except there'll be no registry office part.

For your own peace sit this 1 out.

Getting Married in Ireland.

I am in disbelief that anyone could think that being separated for any amount of time means two people are divorced.
Divorce is very expensive here, i prioritised and stupidly thought that when he got engaged a divorce was going to be his next move.Who gets engaged when they are married?

Obviously, he is meant to get a divorce before marrying again. He's either forgotten he's still married or deliberately ignoring it. I don't think you should assume he's just having a ceremony. Could one of your children get to the bottom of it (hey dad, mum says you never got divorced so how come you're getting married again?)

Wow, thats worrying

FFS. Ireland is the name of the country, it does not include northern Ireland. If someone says they live in Ireland, they mean the country. Not the UK.

You can't be divorced without knowing about it in Ireland. The laws are completely different to the UK.

OP if your children are going then I think you need to seek some legal advice this week. Obviously that shows that you are aware he's getting married and breaking the law, so unfortunately you could get into trouble for not reporting it. It's tricky, since doing so is a possible threat to your safety but there may be ways the authorities can stop the wedding by indicating they found out through their own checks, not through you. In fact given your history, I'd have thought they'd have to keep the fact that you said it anonymous. A solicitor will be able to advise you about this.