Husband getting married

[Grassisalotgreener]

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

Absolutely this! 👆🏽

So a very last minute wedding and your children have only just been invited?

As much as it would seem like pay back to let him get married then report him it really wouldn't be fair on the person he is marrying. I would either tell your DC if they are adults and suggest they let him know that he is actually not divorced and not at liberty to remarry or try and get hold of the person who will be marrying them (registrar or clergy) to let them know.

They do now!

Ah yes that will be it

it will be a humanist ceremony or similar

Unless he’s as thick as shit
this will be a commitment ceremony or similar

don’t waste time navel gazing op

I can't believe a poster thought by going no contact with a spouse it would mean you're not married anymore.

Definitely ring a solicitor tomorrow and ask where you stand with all this. If you know where they are "getting married" ring the venue as well.

Have your children said anything to him

A humanist ceremony doesn’t mean it isn’t legal, just not religious.

Dob him in @Grassisalotgreener . Do you know where he is getting married, you can report to the local authority/register office maybe, or if on a church to the vicar there.

That is what i was thinking because you wouldnt go ahead with a marriage witbout getting a divorce, would you? 🤔

This is the perfect opportunity to speak up at the ‘If anyone here present knows of any legal impediment…’ bit of a wedding. And you’re all liars if you say that’s not too good an opportunity to pass up.

Some people do though.

If the kids are going, get them to say “but you’re still married to mum”

Hello, friendly vicar here. We definitely do ask to see decree absolute before reading banns, where someone has been married before, but if they lie to us and simply say they’ve never been married, we would have no way of knowing they were lying, and obviously wouldn’t ask to see a decree absolute for a marriage we didn’t know existed! I’m so sorry you’ve been put in this position. A good priest or registrar should offer you some support through this too.

That was my thought too

So far he's done nothing wrong

A humanist ceremony is still a legal marriage.

Only informed children of the no divorce today, our marriage is not something we discuss because of the trauma he left us with!

Really?

I’d let them crack on with it and raise it afterwards.

I actually wouldn’t bother at all. Let him get himself in trouble and if he dies you’ll hopefully be his beneficiary

In Scotland it is but not England:

commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/sn05864/#:~:text=At%20present%2C%20therefore%2C%20it%20is,marriage%20to%20be%20legally%20valid.

Not in England and Wales they're not

@Grassisalotgreenerdefinitely in Scotland. I've been to a few.

We are in Ireland, its been a bit of a shock today and havent had time to digest and fact find.

Is it possible for him to have divorced you and it has gone through because you didn't respond to any of the court papers e.g. did he put an incorrect address or something? I have no idea how you would check to see if there is a decree absolute with your name on it though!
I would report it to your local registrar's office, take your marriage certificate and any other information that you have about him, and tell them what you've learned. You might find that the notice of intended marriage is displayed outside or in the window, if he lives in the same area. If you've done this, I think you've done all you can.