Stranger asked for sex.

[SoreHeadAgainnnnn]

So this was really weird!! ...

(For context, I'm late 40s, married 20yrs, two kids, two dogs, average and tired looking!)

I took my dogs out for a walk yesterday. We were walking through a field and I heard a man's voice. Looked up and there was a man on a bike (maybe late 20s/early 30s, scruffy looking (the mum in me thought 'you could do with a bath') on the adjacent path (which is just up the bank from where I was - so maybe 15 foot away or so)).

He said 'can you have sex with me?'. I thought I must have misheard so asked him to repeat what he said and he said 'can you have sex with me?' Again I thought I can't have heard right! So I said 'can I have what?' and he said 'sex' and repeated 'sex' a few times, then was quite insistent 'can we have sex??'

I told him No. No! Several times. They, in a really kid like voice he said 'pleeeeeeeeeeaase' like he was begging me for some screen time or sweets!! I said 'no. No way. Go and find yourself a girlfriend'.

Then he sounded quite annoyed and said 'why not?' in a way that made it sound like I was being unreasonable to deny him sex!!!! I said 'well for starters I'm married!' (though there were obviously MULTIPLE reasons why I would not have sex with some random stranger in a field!!!!) At that point he went on his way!

It was quite intimidating and I can't believe he just thought it was ok to ask this!!

Further along the walk, I went into some woods. I was feeling a bit worried I'd bump into him or he'd come back and rape me (catastophising I know, but anyway..) then I saw two large trowel type tools - which looked like weapons like kind of wide trowel shaped swords, really big with serrated edges, stuck down in a tree trunk'. It completely freaked me out!!

My dogs and I survived the walk !! But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst.

AIBU never to walk the dogs there again?

But I have nowhere else walking distance to walk them!

Also - do a anyone know what these trowel shaped weapons are? I tried to Google 'large trowel shaped weapons serrated edge' but nothing like what I saw came up! Anyone know why they might've been there? (They definitely weren't innocently left by the charitable tree planting types. These were definitely purposely put there and looked like a signal or warning or something. They also looked expensive so I kept looking around as I can't imagine the person who put them there would've been far away as they wouldn't want to loose them or get them nicked)

100% call the police. Also, do you have a local WhatsApp or NHW group? Post something on there to warn other women but also, maybe this has happened to someone else?
It sounds like this guy is gearing up for a sexual attack.

Also, why do we (generalising but women) feel the need to add "average and tired looking!" - what you look like is irrelevant and I am sure you're lovely!

Thanks. For some reason I feel a bit embarrassed to vocalise this, so doing online will be easier! I forgot I have that option! Thanks

Nevermind the tool, he pestered her for sex. It's a violation.

Hm, on second thoughts maybe they're bigger than a typical sheath knife, and they do get described as 'knives' rather than trowels so that'd be my bet.
I'm pretty sure you need to be over 18 to buy one and they're probably not an implement you should be taking out in public.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hori_hori

He says it's called an entrenching tool.
Is that it? I've added a picture but it'll probably take a while to be approved, you can have a look on Google images yourself.

I'd say phone as it will be taken more seriously and this is serious. That weapon needs to be removed. That refers to the man and the trowel tbh.

You sound a bit naive. Dont mean to scare you but it sounded potentially very dangerous. Why did you mention your looks? He wasn't chatting you up in a nightclub he was a weird pervert in the woods.

You’re doing your civic duty to report this situation. If needed do tell the police online or by phone that you’re finding it difficult to report/explain. They will help you to get the information down.

Don’t worry about the ‘weapons’ they may be coincidentallly there and nothing to do with the sex pest

We had something similar locally, I rang the non urgent number. The police came round, took a statement, and did actually catch the guy( I wasn’t the only person to report him).

Just for the future : never engage at all with this sort of person, just ignore and walk away as quickly as possible. I shouted my DH name ( he wasn’t there!) and the bloke legged it immediately.

There's nothing embarrassing about telling the police you were approached by a mentally ill man, who kept asking you for sex.

The trowels may have been actual builders trowels or weapons, and my or may not be connected but that's for the police to decide.

You need to report this OP. If he’s not already a sex offender (I’d put money on him being on) then he’s one in the making. There’s only so many times women will say no before he takes what he wants.
I’d also not go back there for a while.

Thanks! Kind of a cross between that, and the hori horis and a kunai (something I just found on Google!). Like if you took the entrenching tool, made it bigger and more decorative and put a more weapon like handle on it!

Why be embarrassed? This man is a menace and it 100% needs reporting

You were lucky, very lucky, that this man didn't decide to take No for an answer. The next woman, teenager he might ask, may not be so fortunate. For this reason you need to report it to the police. It could be an isolated incident, but equally he could have form for this. It is then also on record, if it were to happen to another woman. The items you found, these need reporting at the same time, they could have been innocently forgotten, but then could have been placed there deliberately, to use as a weapon.

Just for now put aside going all Antiques Roadshow on the tools/weapons and get this bloody reported to the police ffs. Some other woman might be in danger quite apart from anything else.

Men are scum @SoreHeadAgainnnnn You weren’t catastrophising about him being a rapist, btw. It’s entirely in line with his disgusting behaviour and treatment of you as a convenient body.

ugh

Glad you’re ok.

Just call the police now rather than posting about the what iffs on MN, he’s likely still out there and you don’t want to be on here after something has happened saying if only I’d phoned the police instead of pontificating on MN - do your bit to prevent an incident then your conscience is clear

I cannot believe you didn’t report this. Please do so straight away.

Ffs sake stop faffing and call the police!

You should carry a personal alarm, just I'm case

Thanks for the tips on the weapon. After googling variations on entrenching tool I found this - which is v similar (except the ones I saw were really big).

Thanks, I'm going to get one.

I totally understand not reporting it and being confused at his request. It’s unusual and bizarre and hard to compute in an everyday situation. Alerting your community and reporting it is a great idea, and I hope you are ok!

Christ on a bike, you went further into the woods after that encounter? Are you mad? Unless your dog is actually a professionally trained protection dog I'd not have been going anywhere but back in the opposite direction, on the phone to the police.