Stranger asked for sex.

[SoreHeadAgainnnnn]

So this was really weird!! ...

(For context, I'm late 40s, married 20yrs, two kids, two dogs, average and tired looking!)

I took my dogs out for a walk yesterday. We were walking through a field and I heard a man's voice. Looked up and there was a man on a bike (maybe late 20s/early 30s, scruffy looking (the mum in me thought 'you could do with a bath') on the adjacent path (which is just up the bank from where I was - so maybe 15 foot away or so)).

He said 'can you have sex with me?'. I thought I must have misheard so asked him to repeat what he said and he said 'can you have sex with me?' Again I thought I can't have heard right! So I said 'can I have what?' and he said 'sex' and repeated 'sex' a few times, then was quite insistent 'can we have sex??'

I told him No. No! Several times. They, in a really kid like voice he said 'pleeeeeeeeeeaase' like he was begging me for some screen time or sweets!! I said 'no. No way. Go and find yourself a girlfriend'.

Then he sounded quite annoyed and said 'why not?' in a way that made it sound like I was being unreasonable to deny him sex!!!! I said 'well for starters I'm married!' (though there were obviously MULTIPLE reasons why I would not have sex with some random stranger in a field!!!!) At that point he went on his way!

It was quite intimidating and I can't believe he just thought it was ok to ask this!!

Further along the walk, I went into some woods. I was feeling a bit worried I'd bump into him or he'd come back and rape me (catastophising I know, but anyway..) then I saw two large trowel type tools - which looked like weapons like kind of wide trowel shaped swords, really big with serrated edges, stuck down in a tree trunk'. It completely freaked me out!!

My dogs and I survived the walk !! But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst.

AIBU never to walk the dogs there again?

But I have nowhere else walking distance to walk them!

Also - do a anyone know what these trowel shaped weapons are? I tried to Google 'large trowel shaped weapons serrated edge' but nothing like what I saw came up! Anyone know why they might've been there? (They definitely weren't innocently left by the charitable tree planting types. These were definitely purposely put there and looked like a signal or warning or something. They also looked expensive so I kept looking around as I can't imagine the person who put them there would've been far away as they wouldn't want to loose them or get them nicked)

Ah the joys of being a woman.

I absolutely wouldn't walk there anymore.

I'm surprised that there are posters who are questioning if this real.

Of course it is real!

I think all women have unpleasant encounters like that during their lifetime.

Poor you, OP. I hope you do report it. Years and years ago I came out of a suburban railway station in London to see a man vigorously wanking in broad daylight, I was late teens and was just so shocked, I carried on walking home (swiftly, which turned into a run) down the alley that ran parallel to the tracks. Not the best idea in hindsight but I was just so taken aback. Got home safely, rang the police who came out to take a statement. A few years later I got another shock when I saw the mugshot of the infamous railway rapist - it was him. So these actions do escalate.

It is so depressing that whenever women post about things like this they always start with things like “for context, I am in my forties/average/tired looking.” As if it would be an excusable or understandable approach to someone who was good looking? It is completely unacceptable for men to do this to any woman, whatever she looks like.

Just to echo pp, sometimes we just think it's part and parcel of being a woman, harassment and predatory behaviour. The best thing to do would have been to briskly walk back to a main road/busy space. Certainly not woods!
Definitely report.

This ⬆️. It's nothing to do with our perceived attractiveness. Being female is enough for some men to harrass us.

About 10 years ago I reported a man on a popular London common who’d said some inappropriate things to my then small boys. Can’t recall what exactly but along the lines of him not being a paedo and how he hadn’t or wouldn’t do xyz to them. 2 policemen came straight round and took it incredibly seriously.

I’m sorry this happened to you OP and I hope the police take your report seriously (they usually do as they are well aware that these crimes escalate) but you really need to work on your survival instincts! You went into the woods, alone bar your dog, after this happened?! If you’re unfortunate enough for this to ever happen to you again , get your phone out and immediately call your DH. If you don’t have a rape alarm, you might be able to set up an emergency alarm on your phone. iPhones have this feature but not sure about other phones.

I actually meant to write that too but was so incensed I forgot 😂 thank you for adding it on.

I’m sorry that you had this horrible experience. I had a similar one when out for an early morning run a couple of years ago. I too asked the man to repeat what he had said, as I thought I must have misheard! I reported to the police online and they got back to me pretty quickly. They cross-checked firstly to see if there had been other reports of incidents of this nature in the area, and also to see if the description I gave matched anyone known to them. They drew a blank in both cases but certainly didn’t make me feel I shouldn’t have reported so I am glad I did.

Yes, you absolutely need to report it. What if the next person he corners is a lone teenage girl on the way home from school?

This takes me back to when my friend and I were playing in the park, aged 10 and alone as it was a rainy day. We were approached by a male who said ‘do you want to shag?’ We asked him to repeat himself a couple of times as we didn’t know what that word meant. We left as he didn’t seem ‘right’.
I hope you report this, the more reports, the better. It could show a pattern of behaviour and locations and he may well be on the Police’s radar. You could save someone who wasn’t so lucky.

Oh don't be so ridiculous. Absolutely NO-ONE has said that any part of this is the OP's fault.

Please, please report this and give as accurate description as you can of the person. I work
directly with offenders, including people who’ve committed sexual offences, and this could potentially be some early warning signs that he might be building up to committing a sexual assault. In itself, for the incident with you, he could be arrested for a sexually-aggravated breach of the peace (we have a new term for that in Scotland but I’m not sure where you are). So please don’t feel foolish about reporting and I’d suggest making it a phone call or popping to the station nearest where the incident occurred.

Thanks :)

Yes, your immediate response is nothing to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about, you were in a difficult situation.

Thank you.

I have reported it online now.

What a disgusting thing to say. You sound as if you found it flattering, which is worrying. That is just appalling

I would say speak to someone on 101. I spoke to someone about something and they were very helpful. I then backed it up with online. Regarding the tool weapon thing, if you can get a clear photo you could use google lens to identify it,

Did you report it to the police OP. It's probably something that should be on their radar.

Sorry to hear this OP. Glad you have reported it. I am sure others have advised to put it on local facebook groups to warn other girls/women to avoid that area for lone walks, even anonymously if you can.

Excellent.

Good stuff.

I'd probably swerve that area for a bit. Some lass got slashed in a neighbouring town park recently by some bloke on a bike. She thought he had punched her randomly until she realised. It's like the twilight zone out and about

Thanks. Those were exactly my thoughts 💛

Reported now.

The police won’t actually do anything but it’s good you reported it.

It's good you reported the man and the weapons I would also not walk alone there again