Stranger asked for sex.

[SoreHeadAgainnnnn]

So this was really weird!! ...

(For context, I'm late 40s, married 20yrs, two kids, two dogs, average and tired looking!)

I took my dogs out for a walk yesterday. We were walking through a field and I heard a man's voice. Looked up and there was a man on a bike (maybe late 20s/early 30s, scruffy looking (the mum in me thought 'you could do with a bath') on the adjacent path (which is just up the bank from where I was - so maybe 15 foot away or so)).

He said 'can you have sex with me?'. I thought I must have misheard so asked him to repeat what he said and he said 'can you have sex with me?' Again I thought I can't have heard right! So I said 'can I have what?' and he said 'sex' and repeated 'sex' a few times, then was quite insistent 'can we have sex??'

I told him No. No! Several times. They, in a really kid like voice he said 'pleeeeeeeeeeaase' like he was begging me for some screen time or sweets!! I said 'no. No way. Go and find yourself a girlfriend'.

Then he sounded quite annoyed and said 'why not?' in a way that made it sound like I was being unreasonable to deny him sex!!!! I said 'well for starters I'm married!' (though there were obviously MULTIPLE reasons why I would not have sex with some random stranger in a field!!!!) At that point he went on his way!

It was quite intimidating and I can't believe he just thought it was ok to ask this!!

Further along the walk, I went into some woods. I was feeling a bit worried I'd bump into him or he'd come back and rape me (catastophising I know, but anyway..) then I saw two large trowel type tools - which looked like weapons like kind of wide trowel shaped swords, really big with serrated edges, stuck down in a tree trunk'. It completely freaked me out!!

My dogs and I survived the walk !! But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst.

AIBU never to walk the dogs there again?

But I have nowhere else walking distance to walk them!

Also - do a anyone know what these trowel shaped weapons are? I tried to Google 'large trowel shaped weapons serrated edge' but nothing like what I saw came up! Anyone know why they might've been there? (They definitely weren't innocently left by the charitable tree planting types. These were definitely purposely put there and looked like a signal or warning or something. They also looked expensive so I kept looking around as I can't imagine the person who put them there would've been far away as they wouldn't want to loose them or get them nicked)

How fucking misogynistic and typical to assume a woman engaging with a man who is harassing her is doing so because it's soo "flattering". Do you know most women have rightly placed instincts to try and avoid escalating situations with dangerous men, and that includes humouring them and trying to keep the situation light and calm? Please educate yourself.

OP Police will definitely understand your concerns as sex related crimes can escalate from peeping to flashing to assaults etc, so a man pestering you to have sex in a way that is so outside social norms is definitely a big red flag. Reporting online is a more comfortable way of doing these things.

Why the hell are you wasting time posting on here and faffing about talking about tools?! Report it to the police before it happens to someone else

You don’t sound like you’re catastrophising at all. You sound rather calm that a stranger approached you in isolated woods asking for sex and then you saw a towel and a weapon with a serrated edge.

Can you hear yourself?

Fuck me, I would have ran like the wind.

Phone the Police immediately and report it online. Imagine if a young girl is harmed and you didn’t report this lunatic because you felt silly? WTF? Report it. It’s highly concerning behaviour.

Sorry that horrible man intimidated you like that. Any man would know propositioning someone like that is intimidating.

I don't walk in certain areas because I believe the more secluded parts are used for drug dealing and casual gay public sex. It's intimidating for solo women.

Good to see your reporting to the police OP. As for walking there again I wouldn't alone for a while just to be on the safe side.

Also, in daytime in a tube tunnel, I was approached by a stranger whonsaid I had something on my trousers, I stopped check my trousers and as the tunnel cleared he grabbed my bum and I was so shocked I said thanks and then ran to the next tube. I didn't report it as like you I was confused and not sure what happened.
A few weeks later a photo of the guy was on crimestoppers, he had got progressively worse in his activities eventually raping someone. There was a call for anyone who had had an interaction with him. I went to the station to do a line up, there were about 20 women in the waiting room. I couldnt remember a lot of details as I had left it too long.
He ended up prosecuted for the other crimes. Unfortunatley, they couldnt add mine to the list as well as my account was too vague. Thankfully he was jailed for his other crimes.
Write down everything you remember, the bike colour, anything about his face, clothing etc. Report it all to the police immediately.
You were fine thankfully but if he went on to offend and actually harm someone in the future then your account will be important.

Please do report it. For what it's worth, I've reported similar (although in my case it was multiple men and they didn't try to engage with me, just walked along behind me on a narrow path talking conversationally about what they'd like to do to me). The police were interested and receptive; there had been similar reports in the area including similar harassment of a group of pre-teen girls going home from school. Any details you remember can be useful for the police.

As for the weapons/tools - it sounds like they could be digging tools typically used for metal detecting, dowsing, or even amateur archaeology? There are multiple types used and some have long handles with varying lengths of blade which can be slanted/angled like a trowel and can be serrated on one or both sides.

THIS is why the OP should report it. They start small and progress. I am hoping very much that she has reported it now.

Is this real? You sound incredibly jolly about the whole incident.

Even if they don’t do anything your conscience will be clear you did all you could. Imagine something happened to someone else and you knew you'd done nothing.

And going deeper in to the woods, no thank you.

You absolutely need to report this man and all the details you posted here to the police because he sounds deranged and predatorial. Next time he sees a woman and after so many "rejections" he might decide "whats the point of asking" and jump on the next woman no questions asked. He sounds like a rapist in the making. Police will not chase him but it would be a good idea if they gather some intel on this creep.

OP there are some really unhelpful and unkind posts on here (as well as lots of helpful ones). Reporting definitely the right thing and i'm glad you're doing that now but I also totally understand why you questioned yourself before reporting. I'm a similar age to you and think this sort of incident was so normalised when we were young that it can take a while to shake the feeling of 'am I being overdramatic', 'should I just pull myself together', 'what would the police do anyway'. Sorry you had this experience and hope you are ok.

They might not do anything on this occasion because nothing happened but what if next time he asks someone and doesn’t take no for an answer? You could maybe help identify him

You continued INTO the woods??

Once going to a local scout meeting 6pm ish I noticed a man in a phone box as I walked past. He turned as I passed and I felt uneasy.
Went to the meeting left about 8pm to walk home along a main road. this was 2hrs later and he was still there, again as I walked past he turned to watch me. Had the receiver by his ear not speaking. I got a bit past and I heard the door open and although I walk quite quickly I could tell he was gaining on me. I could have continued , was about 50m from my street but the street lights were broken and I'd have to walk past some waste ground and it just felt wrong and I felt to keep walking was to put myself in greater danger.
I decided to stop at a residential home. As I waited for them to answer the door his footsteps stopped, possibly watching me. They answered and let me in. I called my husband and he walked down to meet me, it was literally a 4minute walk to my house and I couldn't do it.
Called the police when I got in. They took a report but because he hadn't spoken/threatened/touched me there wasn't anything they could officially do, however they said they get a car to drive past couple of times.

My main reason to report it was INCASE something happened to someone else.

Would he have attacked me?? Who knows?? Did I feel at risk?? 100% and I'm not afraid of walking on my own, buses /bus stops late at night etc but that really spooked me and for a while couldn't do short cuts which I'd used for yrs. Now I'm just AWARE of stuff when out on my own and if something feels off I don't ignore it.

BTW staff at the home told me I was the 3rd woman to call in in last8 weeks. 1 lady , like myself thought she was being followed by a man on foot. The 2nd by a man in a car that had passed her 3 times and then shouted to her to stop. He actually went to the home to see where she had gone. They let her out of the backdoor and a male staff member walked her home.

He was likely mocking you for a laugh.

You clearly didn't grow up 'Alt' if this is the first time encountering it but chavs do this shit all the time. They ride up on their bike and 'beg' you to date them then laugh, they and their mates find it so funny for some bizarre reason.

It is in the same vein as the concept of 'pull a pig' (but lets be honest the girls being asked are never a 'pig' and being unsexually attractive to a chav/radgy/town/ned/yob etc... is something you should probably be proud of).

Just phone the police. You don't need to overthink it. He's potentially dangerous and mentally unstable. No one in their right mind goes up to another person and asks them for sex, no matter how attractive they might find them

OP, you were aggressively and persistently harassed for sex by man who was hanging around in a field literally waiting for women to prey on. How the fuck can you possibly think this isn't reportable? Jesus H Christ. And absolutely tell them about the weapons/tools you saw. Might not be connected, but the police can decide that for themselves.

FWIW - me approaching women (or indeed other men) and asking for sex or telling they want to have sex with you is a recognised form of sex offending. It's happened to me twice.

Please report to the police ! You were very lucky but someone else won’t … he will do it again …

Nope, this is bullshit. This man wasn't showing off in front of a group of mates hanging out in a town centre. He was alone, he was dirty and scruffy which is often an indication of mental instability, and he approached a woman dog-walker in a field with no other people around.

You are massively, massively minimising this. It is very easy to tell the the difference between what the OP is describing and what you are describing. They are not the same thing at all.

....and this is how behaviour is minimised and normalised, just like Wayne Couzens was 'jokingly' called the rapist by his Met police colleagues.

housethatbuiltme · Today 11:59 "He was likely mocking you for a laugh.
You clearly didn't grow up 'Alt' if this is the first time encountering it but chavs do this shit all the time."

What does didn't grow up 'Alt' mean?

The misogyny on this thread…christ almighty