Stranger asked for sex.

[SoreHeadAgainnnnn]

So this was really weird!! ...

(For context, I'm late 40s, married 20yrs, two kids, two dogs, average and tired looking!)

I took my dogs out for a walk yesterday. We were walking through a field and I heard a man's voice. Looked up and there was a man on a bike (maybe late 20s/early 30s, scruffy looking (the mum in me thought 'you could do with a bath') on the adjacent path (which is just up the bank from where I was - so maybe 15 foot away or so)).

He said 'can you have sex with me?'. I thought I must have misheard so asked him to repeat what he said and he said 'can you have sex with me?' Again I thought I can't have heard right! So I said 'can I have what?' and he said 'sex' and repeated 'sex' a few times, then was quite insistent 'can we have sex??'

I told him No. No! Several times. They, in a really kid like voice he said 'pleeeeeeeeeeaase' like he was begging me for some screen time or sweets!! I said 'no. No way. Go and find yourself a girlfriend'.

Then he sounded quite annoyed and said 'why not?' in a way that made it sound like I was being unreasonable to deny him sex!!!! I said 'well for starters I'm married!' (though there were obviously MULTIPLE reasons why I would not have sex with some random stranger in a field!!!!) At that point he went on his way!

It was quite intimidating and I can't believe he just thought it was ok to ask this!!

Further along the walk, I went into some woods. I was feeling a bit worried I'd bump into him or he'd come back and rape me (catastophising I know, but anyway..) then I saw two large trowel type tools - which looked like weapons like kind of wide trowel shaped swords, really big with serrated edges, stuck down in a tree trunk'. It completely freaked me out!!

My dogs and I survived the walk !! But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst.

AIBU never to walk the dogs there again?

But I have nowhere else walking distance to walk them!

Also - do a anyone know what these trowel shaped weapons are? I tried to Google 'large trowel shaped weapons serrated edge' but nothing like what I saw came up! Anyone know why they might've been there? (They definitely weren't innocently left by the charitable tree planting types. These were definitely purposely put there and looked like a signal or warning or something. They also looked expensive so I kept looking around as I can't imagine the person who put them there would've been far away as they wouldn't want to loose them or get them nicked)

Women don't report these things as it is seen as part and parcel of being a women. Previously I probably wouldn't have reported it. The addition of the knife thing means I would have done though!

The other week I was followed in the woods by a man. He seemed quite unfit and I was confident I could outrun him if needed, which made me a bit less scared. I quickly got to a busier area and was wondering if I should report it. Nothing happened to me.

I decided to phone 101. I just thought if he was to follow a kid or someone like my mum the outcome may be different. I was expecting them to say 'we'll log it', which would have been fine with me. They sent two police officers to my house and they were there as I was getting back from the walk. They said I wasn't wasting their time and seemed to take it seriously.

The next day there was something on the news that they want women to do this as it helps to build a picture on where offences might take place, building profiles on people that do this low level stuff which they say can lead to more serious offences.

Are you crazy walking into the woods, I would have been running for my life back to civilization the very moment he asked you to have sex, and would never have engaged in conversation with him.

I do think you're lucky to have got away unscathed.

I dunno, some women are like that I suppose. My friend recently encountered a flasher whilst walking her dog over our local nature reserve alone. She told him if he did it again the dog would bite it off and then carried on her walk like it was nothing. (Though did report it once home.)

I would report that to the police asap op, and walk on streets not fields for now.

Take a photo of the tools and use Google lens to search what they are.

Big difference if you’re in a bar chatting people up in a situation where people expect to possibly hook up, and approaching women on their own in remote areas.

I don’t understand the “I feel a bit embarrassed to report it” attitude in the slightest.

There is, increasingly, a culture of reporting these incidents. And that is a very good thing, progress. But for a long time there wasn't and I think it's understandable that women (particularly those of an age to have grown up in a culture that encouraged us to brush it off and move on or 'just ignore them') sometimes don't initially have the instinct to report.

If this had happened near me it would also be shared around the local community Facebook pages.

@SoreHeadAgainnnnn If you have Facebook please do this.

You don't have to say it happened to you. Just say there is a young man pestering women for sex,

Wow I simply explained what it is and that this is common, many of us have faced it before.

Once again the ignorance is astounding, anyone ever heard of S.o.p.h.i.e (lancaster) before? The charity set up for the girl who was killed.

Explaining that its common is simply that... if you lot are lucky enough to have never encountered it to the level you are pearl clutchingly shocked and freaked out then think yourselves bloody lucky because for many its a normal event.

Agree with everyone else. This sort of thing escalated to flashing and then to sexual assault.

I don't think you were catastrophising at all. I think you were very lucky he didn't attack you. I would never walk there again if I were you.

You really need to report this to the police. I would not have walked in to the woods after this. You need to trust your instincts.

I honestly think you had a very lucky escape. The police should absolutely take this seriously.

Let me get this right...

A women takes her dog for a walk in the woods, is propositioned by a man and it's her fault for walking in the woods, for engaging with him, for daring to breathe and be a woman trying to go about her day.

It's also her fault for not reporting it straight away, even though she's explained why she didn't think the police would take it seriously.

Some of you are an absolute disgrace with your victim blaming and old fashioned misogynistic views. I'm surprised no-one has asked what she was wearing.

NOT ONE BIT OF THIS IS THE WOMAN'S FAULT. THIS IS ALL ON THE MAN!!!

You got into a conversation with him which he probably found a turn-on. If I was spoken to by a scruffy looking man in the woods and couldn't hear what he said at first I'd just avoid eye contact, ignore and move on swiftly.

I could understand you being a bit shell shocked at the time and not thinking what to do next, but to go home, chat with DH and you both to go "meh, shit happens" ... it could be one of our daughters he approaches next, this is batshit, you need to ring up or go to the police station and insist they take it seriously.

omg... are you serious?

100% get an alarm. But is there anyone else around to hear it? Are the dogs rhe type who could fend off an attacker?

You also say "But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst."

This doesn't sound like a place I'd go. We have lovely woods where I live but even the designated walking areas can be isolated. I was talking to the local pub staff about it and the men won't walk through alone (it's a shortcut home for one guy).

it's awful that dodgy blokes have ruined a nice place to walk but that's the reality.

Yes.

This. I’d have been straight home.
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Don't blame women for men's predatory behaviour.

Definitely report to police and post a warning on Facebook so that other women don't go over there alone!

Don't forget that it's her fault if it happens to someone else next as well.

I'm the same. I ignore strange men talking to me.