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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you define what Female Gender is?

249 replies

peakedandoverthehill · 23/02/2025 16:34

I hear about biological sex and gender being different things but what is female gender? Surely if you can't define what having a female gender is, then how can it exist?

Voting

YABU - I can define female gender and will write my definition as a post here.
YANBU - You can't define female gender

OP posts:
JHound · 23/02/2025 19:29

Ddakji · 23/02/2025 19:27

And yet here you are again on one of these threads.

Show quote history

Again?

Shmee1988 · 23/02/2025 19:29

peakedandoverthehill · 23/02/2025 16:57

The thing is I am trying to fill out a form and it has asked me for my gender.
It won't let me skip it either but there's no key to explain what it means.

Has it asked you for your 'sex' and then your 'gender' as a separate question? Or are you just being pedantic for the sake of it?

wherearemypastnames · 23/02/2025 19:32

The words feminine and masculine exist so the concepts exist

And I bet given half a dozen characteristics most people would align them to masculine / feminine

Strong/caring
Football/dancing
DIY/ cookery
Short hair/ dresses
Innovation and strategy / attention to detail

I am NOT saying that you males have a tendency to one and females the other

I AM saying that a lot of people act like they believe that

Pretending you don't really understand the words is silly

Wanting to live in a society where they have no meaning wouldn't be silly but we are not there

Vannymcvan · 23/02/2025 19:34

peakedandoverthehill · 23/02/2025 17:38

Could you define trans hatred please?

Show quote history

You know exactly what I mean, you just don't want to be called out for it. Let people live their lives and you live yours.
https://backup.ons.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2019/02/What-is-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender_-1.pdf

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 23/02/2025 19:38

Vannymcvan · 23/02/2025 19:34

You know exactly what I mean, you just don't want to be called out for it. Let people live their lives and you live yours.
https://backup.ons.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2019/02/What-is-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender_-1.pdf

Show quote history

Define it then.

People men ‘just living their lives’ is starting to have a negative impact on how a lot of women live theirs. And a lot of women want to discuss it. Go figure.

couchparsnip · 23/02/2025 19:43

I did women's studies back in the 80s. To me gender was a feminist concept which criticized the roles that society put on men and women. Gender was separated from biological sex so that we could argue that we weren't genetically disposed to stay in the kitchen or look after children - it was a role imposed on us by the patriarchy.
It started to take on a different meaning in the 90s and the separation from biological sex wasn't the key issue any more. People were encouraged to play around with gender more.
And now we're here, where you impose your own gender rather than society doing it for you.
Not sure where that leaves feminism but there we are.

BobbyBiscuits · 23/02/2025 19:51

I guess I used to think it meant the same as sex until about fifteen years ago.
Now I think it is visually things that are stereotypically feminine. Like when a transwoman wears tiny skirts, heels, masses of makeup and a long wig. To go to Lidl.

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 19:52

MarkingBad · 23/02/2025 19:10

Yep I can honestly say I've never thought of people in terms of feminine and masculine. I worked with a lot of different people in lots of different places and humans are varied, complex and endlessly interesting. There is no one person I have met that fully encompasses masculinity or femininity as a social construct, it's like nailing fog to the ceiling.

But I am amused that you think that based on the list of things I wrote, since the vast majority of women do some of those things too.

Edited
Show quote history

I said may, there is no way I could tell from a short post. So how do you know how if someone is male or female if they don't have tight clothes showing their genitals?

spannasaurus · 23/02/2025 19:57

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 19:52

I said may, there is no way I could tell from a short post. So how do you know how if someone is male or female if they don't have tight clothes showing their genitals?

Show quote history

Are you saying that you can't tell the difference between men and women unless you see their genitals

MarkingBad · 23/02/2025 20:03

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 19:52

I said may, there is no way I could tell from a short post. So how do you know how if someone is male or female if they don't have tight clothes showing their genitals?

Show quote history

I couldn't give a flying fuck if they are male or female, what's that got to do with anything?

ThePeppyMoose · 23/02/2025 20:05

spannasaurus · 23/02/2025 19:57

Are you saying that you can't tell the difference between men and women unless you see their genitals

Show quote history

That’s the fundamental lie in all of this

that we can’t always tell

That’s why the GMC are going to all these efforts to not “out” someone as trans, as if everyone does not always know about it. It’s just mental that anyone can do all this pretending

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:05

Vannymcvan · 23/02/2025 19:34

You know exactly what I mean, you just don't want to be called out for it. Let people live their lives and you live yours.
https://backup.ons.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2019/02/What-is-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender_-1.pdf

Show quote history

No problem with people just living their lives, but men demanding access to women's changing rooms, sports, prisons, rape counselling, shelters, medical wards isn't just 'living their lives' now is it? What about the impact on women's lives?

WaHaHa99 · 23/02/2025 20:06

peakedandoverthehill · 23/02/2025 16:34

I hear about biological sex and gender being different things but what is female gender? Surely if you can't define what having a female gender is, then how can it exist?

Voting

YABU - I can define female gender and will write my definition as a post here.
YANBU - You can't define female gender

Try Google or chatgpt OP!

daisychain01 · 23/02/2025 20:09

peakedandoverthehill · 23/02/2025 16:38

Not to muddle things what also, could someone please define what living as a woman means?
Thanks in advance

Why cant you define female?

AnSolas · 23/02/2025 20:16

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 19:52

I said may, there is no way I could tell from a short post. So how do you know how if someone is male or female if they don't have tight clothes showing their genitals?

Show quote history

Have fun

https://hpc.anatomy4sculptors.com/

Starting point for explaining why people can sex stone effigy

Freshflower · 23/02/2025 20:17

Female gender physically obviously has female features , less hairy , sexual organs that are designed for a male penis and cum to hopefully conceive. Certain personality traits. For me I know I am a female, I feel female , I'm very attracted to the physical characteristics of the male , his face , body and sexual organs. It's the nature to be two physical genders. How that person feels or wants to be viewed is their own personal choice

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:19

It’s feeling as though you’re a female.

MyLimeGuide · 23/02/2025 20:21

Ask your mum.

AnSolas · 23/02/2025 20:21

ThePeppyMoose · 23/02/2025 20:05

That’s the fundamental lie in all of this

that we can’t always tell

That’s why the GMC are going to all these efforts to not “out” someone as trans, as if everyone does not always know about it. It’s just mental that anyone can do all this pretending

Show quote history

The GMC now admit they need to publish prior bad acts under old reg numbers

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5281049-gmc-handbrake-turn-on-transitioning-doctors?reply=142401304

FYi @ArabellaScott thanks 👏

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:23

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:19

It’s feeling as though you’re a female.

And what does that mean? What are female feelings?

lifeturnsonadime · 23/02/2025 20:25

Freshflower · 23/02/2025 20:17

Female gender physically obviously has female features , less hairy , sexual organs that are designed for a male penis and cum to hopefully conceive. Certain personality traits. For me I know I am a female, I feel female , I'm very attracted to the physical characteristics of the male , his face , body and sexual organs. It's the nature to be two physical genders. How that person feels or wants to be viewed is their own personal choice

Wowzers. I'm definitely not a woman then. As I don't possess this female gender.

I am a fucking woman though, complete with hairy armpits and legs, having birthed two human beings out of my vagina.

Are you saying I'm not female because I don't conform to sterotypes but some blokes with penises are because they shave their pits and wear tights and lippy?

lifeturnsonadime · 23/02/2025 20:25

And are you saying that lesbians are not women?

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:29

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:23

And what does that mean? What are female feelings?

Show quote history

That’s defined by the person feeling them.

Feelings are subjective and relative.

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 20:40

spannasaurus · 23/02/2025 19:57

Are you saying that you can't tell the difference between men and women unless you see their genitals

Show quote history

I can, yes. But for the people here who say there is no way to define female or male I wonder how they manage to tell the difference.

spannasaurus · 23/02/2025 20:42

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 20:40

I can, yes. But for the people here who say there is no way to define female or male I wonder how they manage to tell the difference.

Show quote history

Male and female sex is easy to define but OP was asking about gender not sex