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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can you define what Female Gender is?

249 replies

peakedandoverthehill · 23/02/2025 16:34

I hear about biological sex and gender being different things but what is female gender? Surely if you can't define what having a female gender is, then how can it exist?

Voting

YABU - I can define female gender and will write my definition as a post here.
YANBU - You can't define female gender

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:42

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:29

That’s defined by the person feeling them.

Feelings are subjective and relative.

Sure. Not much help for defining what it means then though.

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:45

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:42

Sure. Not much help for defining what it means then though.

Some people find some definitions sound and understandable, others don’t. Just one of those things.

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 20:46

MarkingBad · 23/02/2025 20:03

I couldn't give a flying fuck if they are male or female, what's that got to do with anything?

The point is that there are things we see as masculine and feminine and we unconsciously use that every time we meet someone to determine if we should refer to them as he or she.

spannasaurus · 23/02/2025 20:48

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 20:46

The point is that there are things we see as masculine and feminine and we unconsciously use that every time we meet someone to determine if we should refer to them as he or she.

I don't. If someone is male I call them he, if someone is female I call them she

ThePoliteLion · 23/02/2025 20:51

Gender is BS
Sex is real

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:51

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:45

Some people find some definitions sound and understandable, others don’t. Just one of those things.

No. What you've described there is entirely subjective. So how can such a definition be in any way useful to anyone? One person's 'feeling female' does not mean the same as someone else's 'feeling female'. In fact it might mean the same as someone else's 'feeling male'.

So we're back to square one. No clarity whatsoever.

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:54

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:51

No. What you've described there is entirely subjective. So how can such a definition be in any way useful to anyone? One person's 'feeling female' does not mean the same as someone else's 'feeling female'. In fact it might mean the same as someone else's 'feeling male'.

So we're back to square one. No clarity whatsoever.

Well, exactly. No one said it isn’t subjective, no one said any one definition is useful to everyone either. Plenty of definitions are subjective in their usefulness. Doesn’t mean they aren’t used.

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:55

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:54

Well, exactly. No one said it isn’t subjective, no one said any one definition is useful to everyone either. Plenty of definitions are subjective in their usefulness. Doesn’t mean they aren’t used.

Except that in the case of GRC and self ID it's being used in a legal sense. Which is absolutely batshit.

wherearemypastnames · 23/02/2025 20:56

How many here have ever done unconscious bias tests?

Harvard university used to have some online

They basically found that the vast majority of people do have a
Notion of feminine and masculine that does affect their thinking

Very few people are any thing like neutral

So snap up an image of a male and female and most people would align Dr smith and nurse smith with the male and female respectively

Sone people would think and do the opposite - but most people would have toTHINK to do the opposite

the amount of unconscious thinking is quite astonishing

So don't pretend you don't understand, or - that you are special, one of the 2% or so who are pretty gender neutral

lifeturnsonadime · 23/02/2025 20:56

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:54

Well, exactly. No one said it isn’t subjective, no one said any one definition is useful to everyone either. Plenty of definitions are subjective in their usefulness. Doesn’t mean they aren’t used.

So do you think that rights should be based on subjective feelings?

Do you think men who possess what they would say is 'female gender' should be entitled to enter spaces reserved for women on the basis of our sex?

Didimum · 23/02/2025 20:58

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 20:55

Except that in the case of GRC and self ID it's being used in a legal sense. Which is absolutely batshit.

I don’t necessarily agree with that, but I do agree that, for some people, that they feel gender as a feeling.

SpringCabbage · 23/02/2025 21:20

MaggieBsBoat · 23/02/2025 16:47

Oh interesting probably.

female gender male in Afghanistan = silent, staying inside and never being seen again.
Female gender male in Scotland = see previous post

I wonder how many biological men identify as women in Afghanistan and if it’s the same ratio as what the other thread alleges to be “millions in the US”.

TheKeatingFive · 23/02/2025 21:20

SpringCabbage · 23/02/2025 21:20

I wonder how many biological men identify as women in Afghanistan and if it’s the same ratio as what the other thread alleges to be “millions in the US”.

Edited

You know the answer to that

Helleofabore · 23/02/2025 21:39

northwestgirl · 23/02/2025 16:56

an interesting question, OP but most usefully asked of those who opened this whole can of worms, but they are always conspicuous by their absence when anything related to logic or science gets asked
maybe they will be along soon, I've got a few hours...

I hate to say it but you may get tumbleweed before you get a coherent answer that provides a robust evidence based definition.

scorpiogirly · 23/02/2025 21:44

Gender is just personality in my humble opinion.

Helleofabore · 23/02/2025 21:54

Ddakji · 23/02/2025 18:15

You’re not biologically female. You’re female. Biologically female is a nonsense, there’s no other kind of female!

And we just saw at the NHS Fife tribunal, a male doctor who broke ‘biological female’ down to double down on their claim to be a female staff member with the right to access the female changing room.

It goes like this:

Biological - I am not a robot so am biological.

Female - my identity is female.

This doctor was certainly not the first to use this technique. Others have done it in the past. Even to convince the IOC to allow male people to compete in female sports at the Olympics.

Helleofabore · 23/02/2025 22:03

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 20:46

The point is that there are things we see as masculine and feminine and we unconsciously use that every time we meet someone to determine if we should refer to them as he or she.

I don’t and I don’t know anyone who does. As far as I knew, it was standard to understand what sex someone is and use appropriate language rather than thinking someone was masculine or feminine.

northwestgirl · 23/02/2025 22:27

Helleofabore · 23/02/2025 21:39

I hate to say it but you may get tumbleweed before you get a coherent answer that provides a robust evidence based definition.

well, I posted at about 5pm and its gone 10 now so looks like you're right

who would have thought it, a question central to trans ideology and none of them have come along to enlighten us

Helleofabore · 23/02/2025 22:37

northwestgirl · 23/02/2025 22:27

well, I posted at about 5pm and its gone 10 now so looks like you're right

who would have thought it, a question central to trans ideology and none of them have come along to enlighten us

I think that people are beginning to understand that gender identity is supported by turtles all the way down if you know what I mean. And they realise they cannot hide this anymore.

I mean, even their own academics are now upfront that there is no medical condition common to all those people with transgender identities. So all that is left in common is philosophical belief.

And what other group’s philosophical beliefs are given priority over sex when sex matters? And what other group’s philosophical belief has been allowed to take such importance in society that established language is changed on that group’s demands?

It is bonkers.

Helleofabore · 23/02/2025 22:52

I thought this might be useful to hear. A discussion between Naomi Cunningham and Maggie Chapman discussing what is the definition of transgender for the purpose of the applying laws.

x.com/frankleebrian/status/1892299386287280189?s=46

MarkingBad · 23/02/2025 23:00

JLou08 · 23/02/2025 20:46

The point is that there are things we see as masculine and feminine and we unconsciously use that every time we meet someone to determine if we should refer to them as he or she.

I grew up with a dialect that never uses she, She being the cats mother i.e. an insult. We used "her". It was considered rude to refer to somone as he/him or her in front of that person you either used their name or looked at them and said you and included them in the conversation. When they were not present you could use he/him or her but if you got it wrong you were corrected and no one found it offensive unless they made a conscious decision to. Just like now, if you are unsure you say they/them as valid for all but a tiny few people so it's hardly an issue the vast majority of the time.

To be honest if someone is going to get upset about pronouns you almost always get told them before you get to the stage where you might make a mistake. Unless of course they are trying to trip you up and thats really on them.

northwestgirl · 23/02/2025 23:00

It is bonkers.

technical term 😆

peakedandoverthehill · 24/02/2025 04:49

Shmee1988 · 23/02/2025 19:29

Has it asked you for your 'sex' and then your 'gender' as a separate question? Or are you just being pedantic for the sake of it?

The question definitely doesn’t refer to sex for two reasons, 1) there are 5 possible answers 2) it states gender.

As we have been told that gender identity doesn’t always match sex I need to fully understand what female gender actually is but I can’t find a definition.

can you define it for me?

OP posts:
peakedandoverthehill · 24/02/2025 04:56

Vannymcvan · 23/02/2025 19:34

You know exactly what I mean, you just don't want to be called out for it. Let people live their lives and you live yours.
https://backup.ons.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2019/02/What-is-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender_-1.pdf

I’m not sure at all what you mean by trans hatred?
I’m just asking for clarification on a definition for female gender. How on earth could that be trans hatred? Please explain?

OP posts:
SpringCabbage · 24/02/2025 06:58

“Biological = I am not a robot and am therefore biological.”

Biological can also mean plants or other non-human species. How is this an argument in a court of law.

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