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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Non binary

237 replies

Fullofquestions1 · 21/02/2025 20:53

Watching first dates and someone said they were non binary and asked the bar guy what his pronouns were.
I just don’t understand surely you are male or female whether that be what you were born or not. I just can’t get my head round not feeling youre either. Can anyone please put it in simple terms for me.

OP posts:
Fullofquestions1 · 21/02/2025 21:51

@Funykeudfh what’s difference between gender fluid and non binary?

OP posts:
TheIvyRestaurant · 21/02/2025 21:51

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

Being gay is an actual way of life. Non binary is abstract nonsense and completely sexist and regressive

Funykeudfh · 21/02/2025 21:55

Fullofquestions1 · 21/02/2025 21:51

@Funykeudfh what’s difference between gender fluid and non binary?

Nothing- all a load of nonsense just ignore it.

maddening · 21/02/2025 22:00

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

Just like a trans identified person has no actual clue what being the opposite or "no sex" or "both sexes" feels like.

tonyhawks23 · 21/02/2025 22:01

I cant believe this whole thread! these replies! Ive reported it as cant be real!

murasaki · 21/02/2025 22:02

Some people seem to use it in lieu of a personality.

Funykeudfh · 21/02/2025 22:04

tonyhawks23 · 21/02/2025 22:01

I cant believe this whole thread! these replies! Ive reported it as cant be real!

Why?

MassiveGoat · 21/02/2025 22:09

I'm quite shocked that you've made it to 2025 without encountering non binary anywhere, even on your TV, before. Mumsnet has been full of this stuff for the past decade nearly, I presume you hang out here quite often if your first instinct is to put up a post here rather than Google so I'm doubly mystified that this appears new to you. What have you been doing for the past 10 years?

monsterfish · 21/02/2025 22:09

Bring gay/straight is about sexuality. Pronouns/binary indicates a brief is stereotypical gender stereotypes.

so to be a she/her you should be bouncing around like sebrina carpenter. Stem subjects are off limits and if you cut your hair short then you are non binary as clearly a part of you feels you should be a male/bot.

i usually say please just use my name, pronouns not necessary - usually an awkward pause as they realise they don’t know, or remember, my name.

Didimum · 21/02/2025 22:11

TheIvyRestaurant · 21/02/2025 21:49

Just like we are not required to play along and pretend it’s valid

It’s someone she’s watching on tv. It’s irrelevant.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 21/02/2025 22:14

Is this the first time you've heard it? I don't get it because I don't feel it, but I don't really care what others want to identify as. (Apart from the whole female toilet issue)

Magpie69 · 21/02/2025 22:16

tonyhawks23 · 21/02/2025 22:01

I cant believe this whole thread! these replies! Ive reported it as cant be real!

Did u read around Ireland with a fridge?

Mumofteenandtween · 21/02/2025 22:16

It means “I don’t exactly fit with the ridiculous gender stereotypes and I want to feel important and special about this fact.”

OverpricedCupcake · 21/02/2025 22:17

It's only useful for alerting you to those you'll probably want to avoid, the blue hair helps too.

Thedownstream · 21/02/2025 22:20

myplace · 21/02/2025 21:25

I was referring to how people present. Every woman I know presents gender fluid or non binary- none wear exclusively masculine or feminine clothes, all wear combinations of trousers, skirts, suits, shorts, dresses… make up and jewellery never, sometimes or usually.

I don’t even recall anyone whose hair has been always short or long.

So sex, male or female. Presentation, generally fluid or non binary for women.

And the youngsters’ obsession just makes them look regressive.

Oh my goodness, this must be the most nuts thing I’ve ever read on Mumsnet! You do know that women can wear jeans and no make up and it makes absolutely no difference to their sex AT ALL.

I’m not putting on my pinny today, not making my husband breakfast in bed, and not washing the family clothes using a mangle. I must be having a non binary day 🙄.

Fullofquestions1 · 21/02/2025 22:22

tonyhawks23 · 21/02/2025 22:01

I cant believe this whole thread! these replies! Ive reported it as cant be real!

What’s the issue ? Curious about something that yes I have heard of before but saw the other night on tv.

OP posts:
wobblyweewoman · 21/02/2025 22:22

Ah at least it's not as annoying as "I'm queer" which seems to mean heterosexual but afraid of missing out on all the gender woo....

Whotenanny · 21/02/2025 22:28

Thedownstream · 21/02/2025 22:20

Oh my goodness, this must be the most nuts thing I’ve ever read on Mumsnet! You do know that women can wear jeans and no make up and it makes absolutely no difference to their sex AT ALL.

I’m not putting on my pinny today, not making my husband breakfast in bed, and not washing the family clothes using a mangle. I must be having a non binary day 🙄.

Tomorrow's going to be a girly one - I've got the mangle ready!

Whotenanny · 21/02/2025 22:30

wobblyweewoman · 21/02/2025 22:22

Ah at least it's not as annoying as "I'm queer" which seems to mean heterosexual but afraid of missing out on all the gender woo....

I'd say "oh no, I'm sorry you're unwell".

One sentence; two meanings. Ha ha!

(I'm getting carried away on this thread due to the absurdity of the state of our world).

monsterfish · 21/02/2025 22:36

Whotenanny · 21/02/2025 22:28

Tomorrow's going to be a girly one - I've got the mangle ready!

Getting my curlers in right now & choosing tomorrow’s lippy as I am going for a binary day 🤣🤣💃💄

TheIvyRestaurant · 21/02/2025 22:42

DILEMMA

I met up with a friend today and wore
make up. I won’t be wearing make up tomorrow. If I was a girl today because I wore make up, what does that make me tomorrow? Anyone?

LunaNorth · 21/02/2025 22:45

It’s to save people who have spent their lives interacting with a screen from having to develop a personality.

MrsJamin · 21/02/2025 22:47

I'm in a hobby group with a man who calls himself non binary. As we use pronouns in front of others as part of the hobby (eg you should have passed him the ball), our language is policed and we must say they / them / their. I won't do it so either say his name, try not to refer to him or talk to him directly. We're also not allowed to say men and women as this is also policed. If I do not conform I know I would be asked to leave the group and there isn't another group locally. I can't stand having reality warped in this way but I don't want to stop doing my hobby 😕.

Pinkelephant66 · 21/02/2025 22:49

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

But being gay is actually a thing. You are attracted to the same sex. Being ‘non-binary’ is not a thing. It’s utter rubbish. You are either male or female

Gettingbysomehow · 21/02/2025 22:50

I can't seem to control my face when someone tells me they are non binary however hard I try.

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