Was teacher wrong to say this?

[Whyamisopathetic]

Sitting in the staff room today, when one of the teachers came in. I had just opened a Christmas cake and pointed it out to her,
offering her some. Her response was “Urgh no thank you it’s disgusting. Anyway, everyone knows that only old people eat Christmas cake”

I’m the third eldest, out of a staff of thirty. I worked in her class last year, and she was always making digs at my age. She once told the children I’d reached the end of my lifecycle and made reference to me being around when dinosaurs roamed the earth. She’s also made fun of me being small and laughed when she found out the 4x4 was mine. I don’t know why she does this. AIBU to feel upset and embarrassed.

Bit of an odd question if I'm honest.

Why wouldn't you be unreasonable if everything you've said is true?

She's very rude! I would tell her to keep her ageist comments to herself!

I don’t know why you haven’t called her ageist comments out before?

Because she finds it all so funny. She even said she’d told her husband snd they’d laughed about it together. I can’t work out if she’s just trying to make a joke or is actually being g nasty.

She was rude!

So rude.

She sounds pretty sad, lonely and devoid of friends to be such a bully!

Put everything in writing, and send it to HR.

This bullying will not stop to you “man up” and put a stop to it

Sounds like a horrible person, not someone I'd want working around my children.
Besides the point but I also like Christmas cake and I'm not old. My children (under 10) also like it.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. She on the other hand needs telling to wind her ageist neck in.

Have you considered reporting her to SLT? She sounds like a bully

On its own it's a poorly thought out comment. As part of the full picture you paint of this teachers behaviour it's definitely unreasonable!

Why on earth haven't you reported this behaviour? The stuff about Christmas cake on its own is one thing but the comments to the children are clearly unacceptable. Surely you know this?

What a mean person to react so horribly to someone offering to share food with them. I agree you should report it, but if you feel you can't right now, please at least write it all down so you have a record.

Older women are valuable. They threaten the patriarchy so there is this vitriol about them. Karen's and dinosaurs for example.

Only 3 species go through menopause. Humans, whales and elephants. Whales and elephants are matriarchal the older females have the knowledge and are essential in their social structure and education of the next generation.

Humans are just too ignorant to see the value of older women because of the patriarchy. I recommend reading the book hags by Victoria smith.

Extremely rude!

Also I eat a ton of xmas cake and I'm not old thank you very much!

She needs to do some more training. We have got an online one (I work at a University and we have hours of these to do) on Dignity in the Workplace - your scenario could come straight out of that as a "What not to do" example.

Why haven't you brought this up with your line manager/SLT/The HT?

It's unprofessional and she's bullying you

So she's been bullying you in the workplace. You need to report all of her behaviour.

Ask her if all young people are as rude as she is? Does she think immaturity in some way excuses ageism? Express surprise that someone has qualified as a teacher without learning that making comments about physical appearance is unacceptable. Actually, raise this with SLT.

I would have said ‘a simple ‘no thank you’ would be enough’

I can’t bear rudeness

FWIW I am young and love Christmas cake. Have since I was about 4

She sounds very immature. The next time she starts off, laugh at her. Tell her she sounds like she should be in yr?, not teaching it.

Rude, unprofessional behaviour. Making jokes like this constitutes bullying. Report her shitty behaviour, even better if you have colleagues who have witnessed this and willing to back you up.

Agree with PP - sit down with leadership and give this example and others

Dire behaviour on her side - can’t stand the pathetic “it’s just a joke” childish excuse for bullying some adults use

Do you feel able to say something directly?

Any bystanders hearing these comments who would be supportive?

She sounds like a rude, obnoxious, idiot. I would simply keep well out of her way and not engage with her, (nor would I be offering her anything I brought in to eat again). However, I certainly wouldn't be feeling embarrassed - in fact I would feel superior, she's acting like a teenager!

This! ⬆️ You need to log everything & report her - what a bitch!