Was teacher wrong to say this?

[Whyamisopathetic]

Sitting in the staff room today, when one of the teachers came in. I had just opened a Christmas cake and pointed it out to her,
offering her some. Her response was “Urgh no thank you it’s disgusting. Anyway, everyone knows that only old people eat Christmas cake”

I’m the third eldest, out of a staff of thirty. I worked in her class last year, and she was always making digs at my age. She once told the children I’d reached the end of my lifecycle and made reference to me being around when dinosaurs roamed the earth. She’s also made fun of me being small and laughed when she found out the 4x4 was mine. I don’t know why she does this. AIBU to feel upset and embarrassed.

She's rude, nasty and unprofessional! I was shocked by a young woman's behaviour in the supermarket yesterday when she was loudly complaining about the age of the women on the tills and claiming that it's why the queues were so long - this is a new supermarket with 20+ self serve tills and 3 staffed tills! The women on the tills were probably in their 50s, luckily the manager was having none of it!

She’s being a nasty bitch!

Write down everything she has said before; handy if you have dates and times, but include it if not. Then go and see your line manager; she shouldn't be able to do this to you, especially in front of the children.

I haven’t no because they think she’s wonderful! She only says stuff like this when there’s an audience.

Because I can’t work out if she is actually trying to g to be funny or nasty. However I was told by another older member of staff today that she never acknowledges her. She also referred to another when she’d forgotten her name, as ‘the old woman’

Firstly I don’t think her being a teacher is relevant.

Next - What you want to do is repeat back what she says - so she can hear what you heard - Only old people eat Christmas cake?
She won’t be expecting to defend herself - she will be expecting an argument - and it throws them off - she now has to explain her comment and keep silent until she does.

She's bullying you. Do not accept it. Talk with the other women your age to see if she's done it to them as well. If yes, you can file a complaint together. Just change your age to you being Asian and her saying "well only your people eat rice" etc. Not funny.

I do have form for putting up with really crap behaviour sadly.

Speak to the other staff that she is treating so rudely and write a letter from all of you to HR

Stern mum/teacher voice: "leave your manners on the bus this morning did we, Sarah? 'No thank you' would've been enough..." Shut her down!

Don't offer her anything again,

Be very cooly professional. Grey rock her, only talk to her when absolutely necessary.

Don't consent to her making you feel inferior.

She'll get the message. She's a nasty little bully who loves to get a reaction from you. Don't give her one. She's beneath you.

If there's an audience that means plenty of people have heard her. Raise it with management.

I'd avoid all interactions with her as far as possible. Is she in your department?

You can also make a Dignity at Work complaint about her behaviour. Nobody should have to tolerate that at work (or anywhere!)

She is actually incredibly stupid. Speak to your HoD and expect support.

I'm 61 and I have no doubt some people think this but nobody has ever said anything to my face, and I would tear them a new one if they did.

Nobody becomes less valuable or less relevant because they are older, and that silly cow will be older too one day!

She's being incredibly ageist. Make a note of all instances and report to HR/SLT. Encouraging ageism to children will be particularly frowned upon.

Absolutely unacceptable behaviour, call her out. It’s terribly rude.

I imagine other people hearing her comments think she is being a dick, even if they don't say anything.

I think you should address it with her first before reporting her

agism like sexism racism has no place in the classroom or staff room

I’m a teacher and I would not like those comments especially infront of the kids. Either tell her directly she needs to stop or get HR to have a word or it will keep happening

Do you work with her? (Just asking as you’ve said teacher so not clear if you’re a parent) If you are a colleague though, I would raise a grievance. She’s nasty.

Our 5 year old LOVES Christmas cake.
Your colleague sounds like a twit. Write down every comment with a date & time, and take it to their boss at some point. One or two comments could be written off as careless phrasing, but this all sounds more like undermining workplace bullying, frankly.

I wouldn't tell her her comments are hurtful

She sounds like a bully. I was bullied by another teacher when I was teaching and she only stopped when I arranged a formal meeting with her, listed the things she'd said / done any why I found them offensive and asked her to stop. She was nice as pie to me after that..... To my face at least :) Before that, I'd gone to the deputy head to complain and ask for help in tackling. Side note - I love Christmas cake and it was so nice of you to offer.

Genuinely, speaking as a headteacher, go and report this. It's ageist, rude and a way of putting you down, which is behaviour that some teachers feel they have the right to inflict on support staff. It's unacceptable conduct and needs calling out

You need to say to her every time she does something like this

Oh snarky teacher not another joke about my age.

Have you actually ever said to her to stop with the comments?