AIBU to feel completely distressed by the viral video of the aftermath of onlyfans worker Lily P 'sleeping with' 100 men?

[MumOfOneAllAlone]

I've tried to word this carefully.

Lily, an onlyfans star, aged 20something I'm guessing, slept with 100 men in one go, as part of a documentary.

Following this, she's on camera crying. She says her eyes hurt as some of the men ejaculated in them, despite her saying no.

My heart is broken for this girl. Im a feminist but I've never thought of sex work as being empowering?

Surely, the empowerment of sex work has failed this poor girl? And surely the 100 men who agreed to do this are criminals???

I'm so angry. You could see in the video that Lily is realising what a mistake this was and is very traumatised.

Anyway, didn't see a thread on this so thought I'd post. My heart goes out to her, and my brain feels very angry at those who failed to protect her.

Normally I'd agree, but I feel like much of this is stunts to get people talking about her.

She said she didn't think HIV could be caused by sex.. o didn't bother to read much further

She has said she's disassociated because of the 100 men at once...yet is planning on 1000 at once to meet a world record.

I don't really know what to believe. I wouldn't put it past men to do what she's said she doesn't want, but surely if this is her own enterprise, the 100 men were for filming?...where were her "team" to make sure that no one was pushing boundaries?

Oh, I can answer my own question now:

The current world record is held by Lisa Sparks, an adult film star who bedded 919 men in one day at a sex industry event in Poland back in 2004.

“To be completely transparent with you all; this event is the one thing I regret doing in the 23+ years in the porn industry to this day. This was also the ONLY job I agreed to perform strictly for the money,” Sparks, known best by her porn name, Lisa Sparxxx, wrote on her website.

Mental Health issues. She hasn't realized it yet, but she will, and when she does, I hope she can get the help she needs.

I find the Emily Willis story much more distressing tbh.

From what I can gather, she started dating a porn producer and then started appearing in adult films shortly after - he sounds like a shady character as I'm sure there was something about him and his business partner getting into trouble for dodgy practices, can't quite remember what. May have been for not paying the performers properly or something.

She got into drugs and partying and dropped to a weight of five stone. Eventually ended up booking herself into rehab (allegedly following the death of a close friend). She then had a stroke and was in a coma for months before waking up a few months ago effectively paralysed. It's now believed that she has 'locked in syndrome' where you're fully conscious but completely paralysed - I think it's down to lack of blood flow to the brain stem or something.

Some sufferers can communicate by moving their eyes but she has so far not been able to communicate meaningfully. Generally the chances are something like 1/20 that you recover any motor function and even then most only manage to move their face. A couple of people that could communicate with their eyes have used special computers to type messages and launched campaigns to request assisted dying. However, in both cases they were denied due to the wider reaching implications.

With modern improvements in medicine many sufferers can live a fairly normal lifespan, which isn't great when you're 25yo and fully conscious but can't move a muscle. Truly a nightmarish situation and one that likely wouldn't have happened had she not met her ex.

She not a victim though she did it for publicity then played the victim card for more publicity yet she planning on doing it again victims dont repeat the same stunt time n time again lol

Are those claiming she's a "victim" thinking that no woman has agency over her own sex life and choices in making money?

Why can't she fuck whoever she wants, how ever many blokes she wants? Why do you claim she hasn't made those choices of her own free will?
Why are you taking her agency away from her?

Personally I think it's sleazy and certainly not worthy of emulation, but she is NOT a victim - she's making millions and her own choices!

As for getting spunk in her eyes - well with that amount of it on her face it's little wonder.
May I suggest she wears swimming goggles for her next "challenge".

The men are awful who are involved, but look at all the women who throw themselves at killers in jail. They'd have a hundred women lined up to fuck them as well.

She is planning on 1000 men next year, and is apparently already 'auditioning' for candidates..

@Isxmasoveryet well that's not strictly true is it?

Plenty of women stay with abusers even when they're being beaten and raped, they even get back with them after escaping.

I'm not saying that Lily is a victim, but we it's not fair to say she wouldn't do it again if she was.

I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole watching interviews with this woman, and she seems like a typical masochist.

Her behaviour is definitely a form of self harm even if it's a kink and she's enjoying it/being paid.

This makes me feel a bit sick. I have never understood why the euphemism "slleping with" is used rather than just "having sex".

This is surely a new low in ways to attract 'fame' I hope she is OK psychologically-
Hopefully no brands will endorse her because, if they do, it could encourage other women to act similarly.
The bloody Internet again.

If you have a look at these women’s IG, Bonnie Blue is also an example, they’re very much creating an image of sex-work as a lucrative, glamorous choice. Like it’s both a desirable career and a gateway to an exciting transatlantic city lifestyle. It’s all ‘get ready with me’ videos showing them looking all beautiful and perfect, being cosy at home with their pets and doing up their pretty bedrooms like young women do, and periodically displaying what luxury goods they bought with their earnings (earned £k yesterday spent £k in Selfridges today sort of thing).

Bonnie Blue seems to be pushing Pepsi (mentions it bizarrely frequently if not) and they also give a rundown of the food they eat, their exercise, how they style their hair.

I doubt it’s menz who want to see internet sex stars do a bouncy blow dry or are taking notes on their skincare routine. I may be wrong, who knows now. But if it wasn’t for the throwaway references to the porno aspect - showing interview clips saying really outrageous stuff, their chosen ensemble for ‘doing a naughty vid today’ you’d think they were actresses or models.

Bonnie Blue intersperses these rather aspirational (to perhaps a younger audience) posts with the odd clip of her with conjunctivitis or wiping semen from her face. It’s quite surreal and jarring. It also does give the impression that jumping on a plane to be filmed getting pumped raw very much beats working in an entry level job in data-processing.

I worry for vulnerable young women who watch this and think self-commodification is the smart move. Not everyone is going to get flown to LA, in fact, most won’t. It’s like something from Black Mirror.

I don't care how many people someone sleeps with. They still don't deserve to be sexually abused.

I was listening to Sheilagh Fogerty on LBC discussing this. She took the view of OP and others here (again based on the snippet where she is crying and not the whole video and masses of videos on TT)

A caller who said she was also on OF called in to say Lily was making it harder for her and others there by making such extreme content.

I suspect this is part of what drives the likes of Lily and Bonnie, outdoing others and garnering a load of infamy alongside the cash.

It is warped but synonymous with a lot that is meant for online attention, clicks and likes.

I have thought more than I care to about this. I very much wish that the men's identities became known, because whilst I don't have much sympathy for Lily, I hate that these vile, seedy pricks get total anonymity. If I had a son, friend or family member that took part in this I would look at them very very differently going forward.

But as I said up thread she must have known the type of men who would participate in this stunt and that is why it's so hard to have sympathy...She knew she was allowing men of the most disgusting kind to use her body.

But women in abusive relationships also know the type of man they keep going back to - more than Lily would have known any of these men - and they are also often allowing men of the most disgusting kind to use their bodies. Often they have kids living with it too. She might have been doing it for the money or her self esteem, how many women in abusive relationships also stick with it for financial security and not to be alone?

I'm not blaming any of these women. I'm just saying that if you feel sympathy in one situation because the women are vulnerable and don't really feel they've got any other choice and think it's all they've got and they feel it's necessary for security...well, I don't think the other is vastly different in that regard.

Agree entirely.

I worry for vulnerable young women who watch this and think self-commodification is the smart move. Not everyone is going to get flown to LA, in fact, most won’t. It’s like something from Black Mirror.

This is mostly where my concern lies. The likes of Bonnie is promoting the idea that what she is doing is empowering (hate that word now) lucrative and glamourous. It isn't really anything new, as it's how women got other women into sex work in the past. Difference now is the reach and lure of the content.

I said pages ago I don't see these two women as victims but for sure as night follows day, they will be the cause of a hell of a lot of real victims.

I hear what you say. But I find it impossible to feel sympathy with her.

I think that in most abusive relationships the woman has at some point actually loved or cared for her abusive partner. That she has emotional attachment to her abusive partner.

Perhaps it's the fact this woman allowed strangers access to her body. She hasn't, and never had, emotional attachment to them. I think that's what the difference is for me. She put herself in a vulnerable position purely for the money and notoriety. She has her " career" in Only Fans. And as she is referred to as a " porn star" she presumably income from that. So she didn't need to do this stunt to survive financially. But she still put herself in danger deliberately and I don't see that as being a victim. I see it as making a very stupid, choice.

I'm not sure why you're equating bad aim (she openly said about wanting participants to ejaculate on her) with SA and personally as a survivor I find that pretty offensive.

However, actively seeking out further self harm in this way isn't black and white.

She gained income, women in abusive relationships often stay for the security. She had no emotional attachment, women in abusive relationships often have no love left either, or they're wilfully blinding themselves because it suits them even though they know he's an arsehole. At least there were no kids involved in this one. Again, I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just saying that the psychology and circumstances behind both situations that causes women to stay in them don't look vastly different to me just because one did it with a lot of men and the money was more openly involved. Apparently her mother is her manager or something? Dear God, who'd have a chance?

I think we're just seeing the obvious and age old response to women who behave in a way that we view as sexually immoral even when the only person they hurt is themselves. That thigh-rubbing, tongue emoji creep yesterday was all over it even while he pontificated about how immoral it was and how she deserved to be raped for it.

All the men who have sex with her on film are, by definition, working in the porn industry. They will have signed releases, had to show recent STD test results etc.

Vulnerable. Self harm. Self abuse.

These are the words that spring to my mind. It's just sad that anyone feels the need to hurt themselves in this way. Empathy people. Have some empathy.

I don't think many of the 100 men who took part in this would be good-looking intelligent decent men is what I meant.

I have an 18 year old DS. Queuing up to have sex with Lily would not be his or his friends thing because they have morals.

I don't actually know what we are arguing about.

@NonPlayerCharacter I would have to disagree with you that you say that the only person they're hurting is themselves.

It's a tricky one because we all have free will and rightly so.

However Lily, Bonnie Blue and others like them are not only hurting themselves.

They are hurting other women. A lot of the men Lily had sex with will have had partners. She is risking spreading STIs to other unsuspecting men and women.

She is grooming other young women to copy her, she even has so called 'fluffers' lined up for her next event.

Women who sell sex indirectly make things worse for other, usually young women. It sets up back, it prevents us from being taken seriously, it feeds into rape culture and sexual harassment.

You're speaking as if this is a professional setup. It's not. They're amateurs.

She's said she is close to her parents who are still together, has an older Brother and lived in a nice house. She then went on to say she didn't tell them exactly what she did but I think they knew she was on OnlyFans.

Well they are going to know now so why the hell aren't they stepping in and trying to stop her.

If it was my DD I would lock her away with a therapist. I just don't get it. Unless it's the money.