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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

237 replies

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:35

So he has a cold.
Took a Covid test and it was clear
He is sneezing and feeling sorry for himself.
We were meant to go away today
Last night he said "can we set off later tomorrow " I said yes
Then this morning he said he doesn't want to go at all
So now he is playing on the computer upstairs
I'm honestly fuming
I've lost the train fare £70
Luckily hotel was pay on arrival so I can cancel

Aibu to be annoyed ?

OP posts:
DearGoldFish · 15/09/2024 09:36

annoyed but also hurt

he clearly didn’t really fancy going with you

DearGoldFish · 15/09/2024 09:36

i’m guessing there’s other issues….

MinnieMountain · 15/09/2024 09:36

Go without him.

Original poster
railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 15/09/2024 09:37

MinnieMountain · 15/09/2024 09:36

Go without him.

This. If he can mess about on computer games, he can look after himself.

TickingAlongNicely · 15/09/2024 09:38

Take a friend instead?

I'm guessing there's a backstory as most people see illness as just one of those things. "Colds," can be horrible

Mum2Fergus · 15/09/2024 09:38

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

I wouldn't either. Just go yourself.

MonsteraMama · 15/09/2024 09:38

Oh but York is so lovely! I'd have just gone on my own if I were you OP, no point wasting the money and the hotel. If he wants to sit on his arse at the computer LARPing as a teenage boy let him have at it, you go and enjoy York!

Cheesecakecookie · 15/09/2024 09:38

Absolutely go without him.

He wants you to stay and pander to him. Don’t.

Blackandbluesed · 15/09/2024 09:39

Colds are underrated for making you feel awful. I wouldn't want to travel with a cold either, but I would also be telling my partner to find a friend and go with them (or go on my own).

Tagyoureit · 15/09/2024 09:39

Well I'm on the fence, if he sick, he's sick. If I was sick I wouldn't want to go anywhere and feel like crap as it would probably just take longer to get better.
Equally, I wouldn't want to drag my dh around who was coughing and sneezing and moaning.

Original poster
railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:40

I know colds are rubbish
I've had them whilst being away and I just got on with it
He went to work yesterday and you can bet he will be back on Wednesday cold or not.

OP posts:
MartinCrieffsLemon · 15/09/2024 09:42

There's some really nasty colds going around

When you feel really crap with it, you just want to sit and do comfort things like playing or sleeping or watching TV. Not walking around and being "on" all day

We went away last week and didn't do anything for a couple of days as we were getting over a cold which left us feeling rough. But we had a week so time after to do stuff.

Can you not get a train refund as the ticket wasn't used? Some do offer it.

ShowOfHands · 15/09/2024 09:42

If he's ill, he's ill.

You don't mention that this is a pattern of behaviour or part of a wider problem. Or any more detail about whether he's suggested rebooking or if he's demanding you wait on him.

It's impossible to know if anybody is being unreasonable.

Work and leisure are also different.

Tagyoureit · 15/09/2024 09:42

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:40

I know colds are rubbish
I've had them whilst being away and I just got on with it
He went to work yesterday and you can bet he will be back on Wednesday cold or not.

Work pays the bills though so not quite the same.

FrostFlowers2025 · 15/09/2024 09:43

I am with your husband on this. It sucks sneezing constantly and being on a train and you make other people sick as well.

DearGoldFish · 15/09/2024 09:43

and you really think that otherwise everything is 👌 ?

Kelly51 · 15/09/2024 09:43

Go yourself, or stay at home and catch his cold, I'd be on that train.

DearGoldFish · 15/09/2024 09:43

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

and you’d want him to?

Hydrangea58 · 15/09/2024 09:43

York is a great place to visit, even when it's cold. I really wouldn't want to travel if I wasn't feeling well, but why do you have to cancel?
If you can't find anyone to go with, then go on your own.
In fact, it might be better on your own. If you have booked a double hotel room, a friend probably won't want to share a double bed

MartinCrieffsLemon · 15/09/2024 09:43

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:40

I know colds are rubbish
I've had them whilst being away and I just got on with it
He went to work yesterday and you can bet he will be back on Wednesday cold or not.

Great that you got on with, not everyone can

And they can be at the worst for a day or two so might be just at the height right now with bad timing

Does he have form for cancelling on you like this?

MinnieMountain · 15/09/2024 09:44

But why can’t you go by yourself OP?

MintyNew · 15/09/2024 09:45

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

I don't blame him if he isn't feeling well. I wouldn't want to either

Ilovelurchers · 15/09/2024 09:45

I fully understand why you are upset and disappointed.

However, it's not his fault he is poorly - it's just bad luck. He is quite right not to travel on public transport and spread his germs around if he has a cold - I would think less of him if he did that tbh. Trains are often crowded - what if he passed his germs to an elderly or vulnerable person?

Why don't you go alone? Then there is no harm done......

Musiclover234 · 15/09/2024 09:45

To be honest i get a cold once every blue moon and it’s always a full on awful one. Not just a sniffle or minor cold where you can crack on. Drains my energy and makes me feel like shit for a good couple of days.

I wouldn’t want to be traipsing round a busy city either when i’m like that.

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