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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

237 replies

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:35

So he has a cold.
Took a Covid test and it was clear
He is sneezing and feeling sorry for himself.
We were meant to go away today
Last night he said "can we set off later tomorrow " I said yes
Then this morning he said he doesn't want to go at all
So now he is playing on the computer upstairs
I'm honestly fuming
I've lost the train fare £70
Luckily hotel was pay on arrival so I can cancel

Aibu to be annoyed ?

OP posts:
DeliciousApples · 15/09/2024 09:46

Does he have a regular Sunday team online event in his gaming that he didn't want to miss?

If he does, he should have told you so as not to waste money.

Hotels need all the bookings they can get in this fragile economy so it's not just you that's affected by his decision.

Or is he genuinely under the weather and just fancies a day at home to recover?

I'd unplug the router and say 'yeah I got a message that (insert broad band company name) we're working in this area and we may be affected today.

See if he perks up and wants to go out.... !!

Harvestfestivalknickers · 15/09/2024 09:47

OP, he doesn't want to go but why does that stop you? I would be on that train enjoying 2 nights away, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, eating food cooked by someone else and not tolerating a snivelling man playing on his computer. Let me guess, he still expects you to cook for him?

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:48

Why would you want someone you love to be forced to travel when ill, rather than letting them rest and recuperate?!

(Plus you'd be forcing a cold on other train passengers.)

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:49

Harvestfestivalknickers · 15/09/2024 09:47

OP, he doesn't want to go but why does that stop you? I would be on that train enjoying 2 nights away, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, eating food cooked by someone else and not tolerating a snivelling man playing on his computer. Let me guess, he still expects you to cook for him?

I definitely wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to cook for me when I was ill. How unpleasant.

Rubyupbeat · 15/09/2024 09:51

I would want to stay at home too. Most people when they are feeling rotten don't feel up to waking about as a tourist.

Hydrangea58 · 15/09/2024 09:51

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:49

I definitely wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to cook for me when I was ill. How unpleasant.

Show quote history

Where did the OP say he didn't want to cook for her?

Harvestfestivalknickers · 15/09/2024 09:51

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:49

I definitely wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to cook for me when I was ill. How unpleasant.

Show quote history

He's got a fucking cold, not terminal cancer!

morbidd · 15/09/2024 09:51

Go on your own, then he won't do that in the future unless he's really ill. Plus minimises the risk of you catching it.

Awfeck · 15/09/2024 09:52

He can look after himself. Op, why aren't you going anyway?

Ohdosodoffdear · 15/09/2024 09:52

I'd not want to go away with a nasty cold either, I'd rather be at home relaxing, having early nights etc.
You've "wasted" £70 on a train, but you'll be saving hundreds on accomodation, food etc by not going. So write it off as a dunk cost, or go alone / with a friend.
I cat imagine he's purposely caught a cold to annoy you.

Cherrysoup · 15/09/2024 09:53

Was he really rough? Mine had a cold last week, but he always really suffers, it wiped him out, he basically dozed all day (most unlike him) so going somewhere would have been awful for him. If he was well enough to play on the computer, I think I’d be a bit cross.

saraclara · 15/09/2024 09:54

I'd have gone by myself. Genuinely. I love wandering round places like York on my own. You don't have to be joined at the hip.

Spenditlikebeckham · 15/09/2024 09:54

Find an alternative travelling companion...

Original poster
railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:54

I wouldn't enjoy it on my own.
It's too last min to invite anyone else as my friends have kids with school tomorrow and they need to drop off etc

It's literally a cold
He has no cough
Just a runny nose
He managed a takeaway last night and has no issues playing fifa this morning.

I suggested he went and spent today in hotel relaxing and might feel better tomorrow
He said no he will feel the same

OP posts:
thehungryteacher · 15/09/2024 09:55

I'd be very disappointed and hurt too.

What a wet man he is and also what an unkind and selfish thing to do.

If it's was the other way around you'd go

We went to Barcelona pre Covid with a horrendous cough and flu and had been off work the whole week. We did a lot of sitting in pubs and on the hop on hop off busses

Loafing about in a hotel.

Didimum · 15/09/2024 09:55

If I was well enough to go to work there’s no way I would miss a getaway with my DH. I’d dose myself up with Beechams and make the most of it. My DH would too – of course this all hinges on ‘well enough to have gone to work’, which he has.

Firenzeflower · 15/09/2024 09:56

I’d have gone without him. But at the very least I would go out today for the whole day and have a really good time. If he’s well enough to play on the computer - like so sad teenager - then he can look after the kids.

saraclara · 15/09/2024 09:57

Holidays are sacrosanct in our family. There's no way I'd be letting him ruin a break that I'd been looking forward to. He clearly doesn't give a damn about how you feel.

GladBluePigeon · 15/09/2024 09:57

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:49

I definitely wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to cook for me when I was ill. How unpleasant.

Show quote history

This. Such an odd and mean thing to say.

PashaMinaMio · 15/09/2024 09:58

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

Actually, I hate to say it but I see his point.
A cold can make you feel pretty grim.

I went to Scotland for a week a couple years ago. I took a cold with me which blew up on the Monday and absolutely knocked me out. It was an awful holiday, I’d been looking fwd to it for months, but was completely wrecked.

I suppose he could offer to go halves on the aborted tickets? Would that ease your frustration?

Bellatrixpure · 15/09/2024 09:59

I went to York a couple of weekends ago and it’s so busy, and pretty cold. I wouldn’t want to be there if I was feeling unwell. So YABU for feeling annoyed with him for not wanting to go.

GladBluePigeon · 15/09/2024 09:59

thehungryteacher · 15/09/2024 09:55

I'd be very disappointed and hurt too.

What a wet man he is and also what an unkind and selfish thing to do.

If it's was the other way around you'd go

We went to Barcelona pre Covid with a horrendous cough and flu and had been off work the whole week. We did a lot of sitting in pubs and on the hop on hop off busses

Loafing about in a hotel.

Great. I wonder how many you shared your horrendous cough and flu with. Selfish arses.

Tagyoureit · 15/09/2024 10:00

@thehungryteacher How positively gross of you to travel feeling so ill, I wonder how many other people's holidays you ruined by travelling whilst so unwell.

morbidd · 15/09/2024 10:00

Just give it a go on your own. York is perfect for a solo trip.

TwilightAb · 15/09/2024 10:00

I'm feeling pretty rubbish today with a cold but tbh if I'd planned a trip away I'd still go and make the best of it. I know that my dh, who also has the same cold, would as well. But then he absolutely hates the thought of missing out on anything planned.