Page 5 | Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

railingsdown · 2024-09-15T08:35:32+00:00

So he has a cold. Took a Covid test and it was clear He is sneezing and feeling sorry for himself. We were meant to go away today Last night he said "can we set off later tomorrow " I said yes Then this morning he said he doesn't want to go at all So now he is playing on the computer upstairs I'm honestly fuming I've lost the train fare £70 Luckily hotel was pay on arrival so I can cancel Aibu to be annoyed ?

sunsetsandboardwalks · 15/09/2024 10:38

DillDanding · 15/09/2024 10:28

I can’t stand people who wallow over a cold. (Nor grown adults who fake, but that’s just me).

You should go without him.

It's not "wallowing" to want to stay at home with a cold - they can make you feel like absolute shit.

notacooldad · 15/09/2024 10:39

You should have gone by yourself.
Me and dh had planned to go to Brussels one weekend last year. He was genuinely ill. He looked awful, I could see he was aching all over and sweat was pouring off him. He rarely gets sick and if he's off colour just ploughs on.
He encouraged me to go by myself saying it was pointless for us to both miss out and I may as well go and enjoy myself.

Original poster

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 10:41

We have re booked for next weekend instead
I have gave the train tickets to his parents and they are going this weekend so nothing lost .
They offered the train fare but felt a bit mean
Taking it.
He's paying next weekend for train and hotel.

He's also offered to treat me to an Indian takeaway and gave me £100 to go to the shops today for a new outfit for next week .
So i can't be too mad at him

OP posts:

Happii · 15/09/2024 10:42

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 10:41

We have re booked for next weekend instead
I have gave the train tickets to his parents and they are going this weekend so nothing lost .
They offered the train fare but felt a bit mean
Taking it.
He's paying next weekend for train and hotel.

He's also offered to treat me to an Indian takeaway and gave me £100 to go to the shops today for a new outfit for next week .
So i can't be too mad at him

Why on earth would you be mad at him at all for this? He's been reasonable not wanting to slope around feeling like crap, and has also offered extra stuff to placate you.

HappyDane · 15/09/2024 10:43

If you've got a nasty cold and feel unwell then it's not wallowing to want to rest and ideally you should stay home, firstly so you can recover more quickly, but also to avoid spreading it to others. I don't go anywhere when I'm unwell, but then I'm fortunate that I don't need to!

It's obviously different if it's just a little sniffle - a lot of people can't, or don't want to, put their lives on hold for every mild cold.

HappyDane · 15/09/2024 10:44

I don't understand why you'd be mad, though. DH would never be mad at me for something I can't help, not would I with him.

Glad to hear it's all worked out though!

RedHelenB · 15/09/2024 10:44

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

So do it some other time. I agree with your dh, if he doesn't feel up to it, he's better off at home.

Crikeyalmighty · 15/09/2024 10:44

Spare a thought for me OP- at the moment I should be packing for the taxi due in 2 hours to airport for Majorca- we have both had nasty colds and coughs and sore throat ( although that's a lot better today) since Thursday- ( it's not covid ) yesterday he told me he didn't want to go as 3 days out 7 look like rain too. Cancelled car hire, told me to cancel hotels ( luckily I'm only losing 1 night moneywise) and this morning asking me why I look upset. I would have gone if I'm honest- because probably by Tuesday would feel a fair bit better. I admit neither of us are exactly 'well' - but I'm well enough to be in town now on my own having a coffee and going toM&S . If we are more ok on Thursday we've provisionally booked3 nights in nice hotel in Devon.

saveforthat · 15/09/2024 10:45

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:54

I wouldn't enjoy it on my own.
It's too last min to invite anyone else as my friends have kids with school tomorrow and they need to drop off etc

It's literally a cold
He has no cough
Just a runny nose
He managed a takeaway last night and has no issues playing fifa this morning.

I suggested he went and spent today in hotel relaxing and might feel better tomorrow
He said no he will feel the same

How do you know you wouldn't enjoy it on your own? Have you ever been on a break on your own? Why not just try it? It's different to going as a couple/with friends but can be very enjoyable. No one else's opinion to consider, you can do exactly as you want.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 15/09/2024 10:45

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 10:41

We have re booked for next weekend instead
I have gave the train tickets to his parents and they are going this weekend so nothing lost .
They offered the train fare but felt a bit mean
Taking it.
He's paying next weekend for train and hotel.

He's also offered to treat me to an Indian takeaway and gave me £100 to go to the shops today for a new outfit for next week .
So i can't be too mad at him

Why would you be mad at him in the first place?

He sounds absolutely lovely.

WimbyAce · 15/09/2024 10:46

Glad it's worked out. Def depends on the severity of the cold. If it's body aches etc you wouldn't want to be walking around somewhere, just resting.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 15/09/2024 10:47

Cheesecakecookie · 15/09/2024 09:38

Absolutely go without him.

He wants you to stay and pander to him. Don’t.

Or he just feels too ill to wander round York. Playing on computer games is hardly taxing. I don't want to be away from home when I'm ill.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 15/09/2024 10:47

Just read update .

PinkyFlamingo · 15/09/2024 10:47

thehungryteacher · 15/09/2024 09:55

I'd be very disappointed and hurt too.

What a wet man he is and also what an unkind and selfish thing to do.

If it's was the other way around you'd go

We went to Barcelona pre Covid with a horrendous cough and flu and had been off work the whole week. We did a lot of sitting in pubs and on the hop on hop off busses

Loafing about in a hotel.

So spreading your germs around for all and sundry then? Nothing to be proud of

Nataliaa · 15/09/2024 10:47

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 10:41

We have re booked for next weekend instead
I have gave the train tickets to his parents and they are going this weekend so nothing lost .
They offered the train fare but felt a bit mean
Taking it.
He's paying next weekend for train and hotel.

He's also offered to treat me to an Indian takeaway and gave me £100 to go to the shops today for a new outfit for next week .
So i can't be too mad at him

I don’t understand how you were ever mad, even just a bit, in the first place?! If this was the other way round, and your DH was mad at you because you’ve got a cold and don’t want to go away for a couple of days, mumsnet would be saying how horrible he is for being mad about it. Then if you said I’ve given him £100, and bought him a takeaway so he’s not too mad anymore, and paid for next weekend’ people would say why did you do that? You shouldn’t need to give him money because you’re unwell. I think you sound incredibly selfish!

Zeeze · 15/09/2024 10:51

I cancelled a trip a few weeks ago. I had a bad cold and tested positive for Covid. If I hadn’t I still would have cancelled it. I felt awful. If he feels like shit, that is reasonable.

I rebooked for this weekend. I have strained my back so had to cancel again. I am sure my DH is disappointed. But he has just been kind and waiting on me basically, as I am more or less immobile.

Keep your thoughts to yourself and maybe act like you are empathetic even if you don’t feel it!

Thevelvelletes · 15/09/2024 10:51

Plenty to do and see in York to entertain yourself.
Don't cancel op have a nice break.

Original poster

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 10:53

@Crikeyalmighty oh no I would be so upset !
Hope your okay and have a nice time in Devon

OP posts:

Blinky21 · 15/09/2024 10:53

I wouldn't want to go away if I felt ill either nor would I want to give everyone else on the train a cold. Just one of those things, not his fault

Ethylred · 15/09/2024 10:54

So you're fuming (your word) that he wouldn't travel with you and spread his cold around? Has nobody ever suggested to you that you have a selfish streak?

Thevelvelletes · 15/09/2024 10:54

Saw your update he definitely can't be all bad then.

Fairysteps11 · 15/09/2024 10:57

He's ill, he's tried to put it off going later and has admitted he's not well enough.

All the man haters on here will of course, say he is being unreasonable for being ill. But regardless of what he has, he's not feeling well.

Stop guilt tripping the poor man. I'd be a bit disappointed but there are plenty more weekends. If I was in your situation, I'd rather rebook and have my dp feeling good so we'd enjoy our time away.

shuffleofftobuffalo · 15/09/2024 10:57

I'd have gone on my own. I don't think it's reasonable to say he should struggle round for two days feeling awful. And presumably when he goes to work he will be much better as it's a could of days away 🤷🏽‍♀️ I'd guarantee if you felt shit you wouldn't want to go either and would be posting saying your husband is unreasonable and cross because you don't want to go.

Monkeysatonthewall · 15/09/2024 11:00

But if he's feeling unwell, it's understandable.

It might only look like a sneeze to you but you can't know how he actually feels inside. I understand you're disappointed but he can't help he's feeling unwell.

Monkeysatonthewall · 15/09/2024 11:01

shuffleofftobuffalo · 15/09/2024 10:57

I'd have gone on my own. I don't think it's reasonable to say he should struggle round for two days feeling awful. And presumably when he goes to work he will be much better as it's a could of days away 🤷🏽‍♀️ I'd guarantee if you felt shit you wouldn't want to go either and would be posting saying your husband is unreasonable and cross because you don't want to go.

And there would be tons of 'LTB' replies.