Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

[railingsdown]

So he has a cold.
Took a Covid test and it was clear
He is sneezing and feeling sorry for himself.
We were meant to go away today
Last night he said "can we set off later tomorrow " I said yes
Then this morning he said he doesn't want to go at all
So now he is playing on the computer upstairs
I'm honestly fuming
I've lost the train fare £70
Luckily hotel was pay on arrival so I can cancel

Aibu to be annoyed ?

Neither would I if I was feeling crappy. I’d much rather sit at home in front of a screen to be honest in that situation.

Why wouldn't you enjoy it in your own?

Surely you can wander round museums, shops etc and enjoy it without company?

Better that than some miserable dickhead who'd rather be moping about at home or missing out completely to be with a miserable dickhead who's going to mope around at home??

No need to be martyr in life.

Did you read a different OP @Tagyoureit ?

No, tag malfunction, I've edited it now

If it makes you feel better I’m near York and it’s absolutely miserable today - heavy rain. I wouldn’t want to be wandering around soaking wet and cold even if I wasn’t poorly. Hopefully he’ll make it up to you.

I wouldn’t want to go on a city break if I had a cold either. Had one this week and just wanted to stay indoors.

You should be able to apply for a refund on the train tickets if not used. They usually take an admin fee but you might get something back.

Ah what a shame you didn't fancy going on your own! I think if he's unwell it's fair to stay at home to be honest.

@MinnieMountain

its not is it as when you’ve planned to go with a partner.

although OP’s husband does sound rather wet so maybe she would actually have a better time if she went on her own or with one of her mates 🥂

If you can’t claim a refund on your train tickets, if they are delayed you might be able to get some money back on delay repay… There is a website where you can check if they were delayed https://www.recenttraintimes.co.uk// Only a thought….

I would def check the terms of your booking , to make sure you won’t be charged. Even though you’re paying on arrival, lots of hotels would still need some notice to cancel

I don’t understand how you can be angry. He doesn’t feel well. If there’s no pattern of this, he’s just telling you he feels poorly and would be shit company. Playing video games in bed vs walking around a city makes complete sense.

I think people fall into two camps with colds - those who can power through and those who can’t. You can, your DH can’t.

Using public transport when you have a bad cold is selfish. I know my view is biased as if I get a cold it turns into a chest infection and so far this year I've had 4 lots of antibiotics, xrays and sputum tests as my chest infections get so bad. I would love everyone to keep their colds to themselves.

I would go, York is a lovely city to wander around, lots of things to see and do, plenty of nice places to eat. Let him stay at home wrapped in tissues and vapour rub while you enjoy what might be one of the last nice weather weekends of the year. Good book or pod casts for the train , pot of Yorkshire tea and a curd tart when you arrive.

You will enjoy it on your own, honestly, you will,and anyway, every woman should learn to relish their own company!

Why wouldn’t you enjoy York on your own?

If he’s generally flaky, maybe you should get more comfortable with having fun solo?

Normal, caring people cook for someone who's ill with a cold. It's called being considerate and caring.

Good for him, nothing worse than being stuck on a train with some bugger sneezing the whole time

Gotta say, lotta selfish people who’d happily get on a train with a cold on this thread. I’d understand if travelling just by car, but trains/planes? Not cool.

That trip would be heaven for me but then I love my own company. DSIL, for example, finds it difficult to be on her own & would be very likely to feel like you OP. Could your DM come with you maybe?

That’s not something to be proud of. Travelling with a ‘horrendous cough and flu’ is extremely selfish behaviour, you have absolutely no leg to stand on calling others selfish!

Try to lock in a new date in a few weeks.
Discuss and make the plan today.

You will enjoy it more when you are both well.

People like you are the reason I missed my dad's funeral, because I caught something so bad on a train on the way there that I physically couldn't get out of bed.

Bloody hell.
Everyone lives in a different set of circumstances, but I cannot imagine myself or my husband feeling crap and walking around York....or anywhere.
And what's exactly wrong with preparing a meal for a spouse who doesn't feel good?

He owes you £70 for the train fare and needs to cancel the hotel himself since it's his fault.

Then you go out with a friend or buy something nice.

The bigger question here is why on EARTH is anyone taking a Covid test in 2024!!!!!!!

Sounds like he is well enough to look after himself safely (TFIC) why not go on your own and see how it is @railingsdown There is no language barrier York is a great city with lots to see and do. Why was York originally chosen for your break - somethingnhe wanted to do or something you wanted to do. I suspect that this is not the only time that your husbands feelings/wishes get put before your own.