Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

[railingsdown]

So he has a cold.
Took a Covid test and it was clear
He is sneezing and feeling sorry for himself.
We were meant to go away today
Last night he said "can we set off later tomorrow " I said yes
Then this morning he said he doesn't want to go at all
So now he is playing on the computer upstairs
I'm honestly fuming
I've lost the train fare £70
Luckily hotel was pay on arrival so I can cancel

Aibu to be annoyed ?

It's not his fault that he is ill!

MN is totally bizarre at times. Anyone suggesting a trip when they aren't well is usually castigated. If a woman was unwell and didn't want to travel her DH would be expected to stay at home with her, cook for her , look after the kids and so on. Man is ill its all go on your own dont do anything for him or what a wet blanket of course he should still go and infect every one else

Pretty divisive

I'm not able to stay locked in because I have a cold and cough and lose £100s or £1000s of pound because of a cold?

Oh well I'll slink off... forgot this was AIBU.

Yup. Are people really like this in real life I wonder? I have a son and a daughter. Is it only my daughter who is allowed to feel ill?

I'd have gone by myself! I don't ever fancy walking around when I have a cold to be honest, I do the stuff I have to do- working, stuff for DS but other than that unless it's a once in a lifetime thing I'd rather stay home and relax.

It depends on an illness though.
If it was a man or a woman throwing up being sick and running to the toilet every 10 minutes, Id say of course stay in.
But a cold, come on. Really?

Oh the irony. At least stop calling other people unkind and selfish when you are the worst one yourself. But yeah, easier to jusy slink off..

I’m also with your husband on this one I’m afraid.

Love York but would have zero desire to go with a cold.

It’s one of those easy places you could go to anytime, so why go when you’re not feeling well. (As in, it’s not like missing Glastonbury or a flight or something.)

I can’t stand people who wallow over a cold. (Nor grown adults who fake, but that’s just me).

You should go without him.

They aren't losing hundreds or thousands of pounds. They are losing £70 and avoiding wasting money on a hotel when it isn't going to be a fun trip if he's feeling rough. Better to rebook, accept the £70 loss and have a good time when feeling well.

He doesn't sound likely to be good company-you could have a better time without him.

It will be different but still good. He can join you tomorrow if feeling better.

(You might be expected to pay for the cancellation anyway)

Fair play to your husband. I think we need to normalise people staying in their homes instead of travelling and spreading their colds around unnecessarily. Completely unreasonable to be out in public coughing and sneezing on everyone, he should absolutely be staying home

I'd be disappointed too but he didn't get a cold to spite you. If you're feeling grotty, you're feeling grotty. So he's feeling a bit bunged up and wants to stay at home nice and warm not walk round outside for two days. That's understandable.

Since it is just a cold and nothing terrible, I'd have gone to the hotel and had a little break by myself.

I do it because I work with someone who is severely immune compromised.

That OK with you?

He is a fool, but I genuinely don't understand why you don't go on your own, OP. Two solo nights in York sounds fantastic, and the bonus of being away from the whiny husband!

He's ill! There are some awful colds going around - I've had one this week that has rendered me in bed watching call the midwife for two days. Just because you 'got on with it' doesn't mean he can.

Some people don't like going away when they feel ill, go by yourself or with a friend.

When I'm ill I prefer to be at home relaxing. I don't see what he's done wrong. I'd be a little annoyed but at the situation rather than him. You should have considered going by yourself or arranging a girls night out instead

I understand that you're feeling disappointed, but I don't blame him for not wanting to go either.

Last time I went on holiday and got a cold, I felt awful - I didn't enjoy any of it, barely got any sleep and just wanted to go home to bed. Being unwell is bad enough in your own home, it's miserable when you're out all day on holiday with no chance to rest.

But saying that - you should just go on your own or take a friend, there's no need to cancel.

I can't stand people who think a cold is "nothing".

It's revolting to be sneezing and coughing everywhere.
Colds can be anything from a sniffle to full blown misery with streaming eyes, streaming nose etc.
I've had colds where I can just get on with stuff and colds that have left me slumped on the sofa with a box of tissues and a packet of paracetamol/cold relief.

Maybe he genuinely doesn't feel well? Colds can make you feel really ill.

Yeah... a relative did just that, "just got on with it" with a nasty cold. Went from one international trip on to a second international conference, didn't turn up for his panel there, conference called the hotel and found him dead in the shower. Near-identical story with our family GP, just sans foreign travel. A "mere cold" can inflame the heart muscle and did in both cases. There's a reason you're told to avoid physical exertion.

Haven't read all the thread yet but just as others don't get why you wouldn't go by yourself. I've happily pottered around York all on my lonesome, had a lovely time.

Your son will never be ill though, he will only ever have "man flu" and be faking it.

I do because I have family members who are vulnerable, and I know that covid is still nasty.

Go by yourself!

But, I feel like utter shit this morning and I wouldn’t want to go either for the sake of £35pp.