I'm a MILF apparently...

[JustAnotherIdiotAgain]

Just seen a WhatsApp chat (showed to me by DP) where I have been referred to by one of his friends as a MILF.... I'm fucking fuming. Trying not to overreact but the bloody cheek...
Personally I find this dismissive and insulting but didn't think I would be quite this angry. Happy to be told I'm overreacting but not sure I can let this slide!

Presumably they don't really know what the term means or they wouldn't be calling someone of their own age a "MILF", which implies someone quite a bit older than them.
I'd be even more put off by DH's stupidity in not understanding the acronym.

Yep, this.

I would be more concerned about why it came up. How did wanting to fuck you come up in conversation with your husband and his friends.

It's a bit odd to use the term to describe someone your own age, and it's kind of crass, but depending on who wrote it I'd probably be flattered tbh! At the very least I'd struggle to be offended.

Who actually said it? If it was a friend of DP I'd be mortified - are you a lot older than him to get the mother label?

Well it's one thing that some men think women are just sex objects for their gratification but when some women also agree with them it's very sad.

Is your partner hanging around with teenage boys?

Why? How is that flattering? And to talk about you to your husband in that way……😲

I assume you are quite a bit older than your DP and he is flattered that that his mates think that you are still attractive. I would let DP know I'm not happy with being spoken about like that and then let it go.

What a horrible ageist comment. I’m assuming you’re a lot older than your DP and his friends or they are rudely implying you look it. Or are his friends a lot younger? Either way they are immature and ageist and I’m not sure why your partner is friends with them or at least stick up for you.

I'd be fine about that

Just lol

I think you need forget it. There are a lot more serious things going on in the world at the moment.

Couldn’t get worked up about this. And, I totally agree with @PonkyPonky Having spent 25 years in a similar working environment to you, they ALL do it. All of them. And yes, I will call them out on it but what I have never seen, in all that time, is a man call out another man on it. My experience is that this, to men, is “just banter”.

Are you married to a 16 year old boy?

It used to be a term used by teenage boys about some friend’s mothers,

Surprised that someone older is using it.

But, no, I wouldn't be offended - more important things to get offended about.🙄

Yeah I couldn’t get worked up over this. It’s a statement they find you attractive/sexy. It’s crude and vulgar but also increasingly commonly used in today’s lexicon to mean the above. I’d take the compliment but also make a mental note of the maturity of dh friend.

I think that’s pretty tame tbh.

I worked in a very male dominated industry and the some of the mens watsap groups where absolutely vile and probably should be handed over to the police.

Really nice young lads I’d worked with for years with and been out on staff dos sharing the fucking worst videos. So when I hear ‘not all men’ I think ‘yeah right how the fuck would you know?’

Lol... don't be so naive. Men talk like this all the time.

Laughing it off is still not the same as being flattered !!

Your 'D'P showed it to you - intentionally?

This is not good, OP.

He should never have let you know about it and he should have immediately told this man that saying such a thing about you is completely unacceptable.

I hope you're not committed to your 'D'P as he's showing worrying signs.

Wouldn't it have felt so much nicer if they'd had said your were attractive/pretty/fanciable etc?

Do men talk about each other's wives/partners like that though? Or daughters? We may not like that they talk like that at all but they do. Yet surely it's in a different league when the subject of the 'f' in MILF is your mate's partner? I'd have said so.

No as that’s personal. MILF I’d just a generic term.

I'd be more upset that they thought I was really old then by the actual comment. It's something usually used by teenage boys to describe mates mums. Is their a big age gap between his mate and you or does he think your a lot older then you are