I'm a MILF apparently...

[JustAnotherIdiotAgain]

Just seen a WhatsApp chat (showed to me by DP) where I have been referred to by one of his friends as a MILF.... I'm fucking fuming. Trying not to overreact but the bloody cheek...
Personally I find this dismissive and insulting but didn't think I would be quite this angry. Happy to be told I'm overreacting but not sure I can let this slide!

It is sad that so many women here are surrounded by dreadful men. They simply cannot compute that decent respectful ones exist. They think that all men sit around letching after women using misogynistic language.

And the unpleasant comments labelling women who call out sexism, ugly, prudes, hatchet-faced and jealous, blow my mind.

I would not have time to educate these women. They need an intensive course to learn about the meaning of language and sexist power dynamics. They are too far gone to ‘get’ the issues from a MN thread. I would be interested to know their educational level and backgrounds. We are all products of our environments and who we surround ourselves with. Maybe their mothers and fathers were the same so this sexism is normalised to them and they grew up thinking this was ok. And so it goes on.

And there are plenty of these women, looking at this thread and the poll results. And worst of all, many of them are raising children.

Glad you asked that 🤔!

The term MILF is used by teenage boys to tell their mates that they think their mum is attractive or "fit" Surely not used by "grown men" unless their juvenile minds are lusting over Grannies!

HungryLittleCrocodile...you're spot on! 👌

after reading all this and as a man, i'm sorry the poster got offended at what is supposed to be a compliment,even if the full wording has derogatory implementations,but i have noticed and im waiting for the backlash,there seems to be some real man hating women on this thread,it started as a post about a whatsapp comment,and went to a full on all men are evil mysoginistic pigs.when i was younger i used the term,and i always thought it was just a wow she looks amazing,and maybe a little "i wonder what it would be like with a maturer lady" fantasy thought.so your DP's work colleague thinks your hot,and maybe should of kept it to himself.
Now i'm surprised no one has asked about, is how the conversation in this chat with your DP and a man you've never met, how does he know your a milf if he's never seen you.???
As for what is said in whatsapp's and male and female chats,i always thought these comments were just that,comments,not a declaration of intention.i also do think people nowadays do take comments and remarks too personally,i await the stones and bullets lol.

I've heard women talk about DILFs! Really it's a very juvenile term - rather unpleasant when you think about what it means but most people just use it to mean an attractive mum. I'd roll my eyes that his friends were so immature, then forget about it.

If your husbands mates were saying that about you, you would be a WILF and not a MILF. The term is used by teens about older women....usually their mates' mums!

Agree 👍

Guess I’m the only one here who’d be flattered if my Husbands friends referred to me as a MILF 😂

Is his friend much younger than him? A MILF is something someone younger, usually a teenage son’s age, would call someone’s mother. Weird for grown adult men to be even using that term, unless it’s a 20 year old friend.

The term seems to have some porn connotations , not sure I would be flattered by that.

Also porn is having a huge impact on how young men treat females, again I ask why are so many posters on here ignoring this huge issue and just see it as a joke.

Maybe, many of you are not aware of what is happening in our schools, or think it is okay that girls are treated in this way and should just accept it as boys being boys. But these boys grow up and continue to disrespect women. It should not just be excused as banter.

DH and I were discussing how things had improved in the workplace from in the 70s where women were just expected to be treated as lesser beings, have sexist remarks thrown at them, the odd hand on their bum etc. He was horrified to know that classrooms are currently worse than this.

And I can see why when we obviously have a group of mums who think this behaviour is acceptable. People may ask why I keep banging on about schools, but this is where the next generation of men are coming from and it is frightening how little respect they have for females.

We think it’s bad now, how will it be in the next few years?

Not really, it's a term anyone generally uses to mean a woman who is attractive and is a mother. My husband calls me a milf, and he's a not misogynist in the slightest. I think people just use it now without thinking to deeply about it. I wouldnt be offended by this at all.

Well it doesn't say much about your marriage if you are desperate for your DH's pals to lust after you.
If have pretentions to being a sex object why not open an Only Fans account?

You obviously haven't RTT but, no, you're certainly not the novelty you seem to think you are. Quite a few (though not the majority of) posters seem to see it as a compliment.

You’re right, I don’t read the whole thread, just a couple pages. Who’s got time to read 13 pages of comments

All the school posts reminds me of Helen Lovejoy.

The good old Mumsnet superiority complex is in play again! 🤣

Any woman who isn't ready with their pitchfork is poorly educated, has poorly educated sexist parents, is misogynistic and ignorant. At least we know that milf originally became popular after American Pie and its use is not because it happens to be one of the search terms in porn, we also know it's used to describe an older woman as attractive, rather than an insatiable desire to fuck her.

As some posters were also throwing out the term Karen we know some of them are ignorant and misogynistic

If men feel they really need to comment on a women's physical appearance and they think she is attractive then why not use a term that describes her as pretty, beautiful, attractive? Why specifically use a term that relates to her age and fuckability?
Why use a term which is gross?

Why is it seen as normal that men have the automatic right to make judgements on women's appearance and women are so conditioned to see it as a compliment if the judgement is favourable? Why do they need this validation from random men?

Do these people who use MILF also comment on how hard working, professional, educated, good parent these women are, or just judge them on one particular attribute, and women see that as a compliment?

I don't tend to bother with threads of 13 pages or whatever as I haven't the time to read them all and I'm pretty sure that, by then, any "gem" I've got to offer will have probably been said. As happened with your post.
I'd followed this from the beginning though so was happy to help you catch up.
No need to thank me.

Not really, it's a term anyone generally uses to mean a woman who is attractive and is a mother. My husband calls me a milf, and he's a not misogynist in the slightest. I think people just use it now without thinking to deeply about it. I wouldnt be offended by this at all That's a WILF. A MILF is used by young guys/teenagers boys about older women with kids they find hot.

It became widely used after American Pie.

OP, I've been caught out by posting without checking for any other posts from you. I accept that I'm wrong in saying that you're flattered, you've kept saying that you're not. It was the phrasing of your first post that seemed off to me and I wondered why you'd posted as this is the sort of thing that most women wouldn't, I think, post. They'd give their husband's short shrift.

I agree with you, it's really not a compliment. I apologise for reading you wrongly.