I'm a MILF apparently...

[JustAnotherIdiotAgain]

Just seen a WhatsApp chat (showed to me by DP) where I have been referred to by one of his friends as a MILF.... I'm fucking fuming. Trying not to overreact but the bloody cheek...
Personally I find this dismissive and insulting but didn't think I would be quite this angry. Happy to be told I'm overreacting but not sure I can let this slide!

On MN there are so many threads about men treating women appallingly - not just cheating but treating their partners as the domestic help. There to service their needs and provide them with children and sex. Whilst quite often the man goes out and behaves as if he is single.The attitude of the men in these threads is that women are less than human.

How are men ever going to change in their attitude towards women if they are not challenged? And this includes challenging so called " lads chat" where " men" bond by talking in a demeaning and disrespectful way.

I find it really sad so many pp on this thread willing to dismiss this conversation between OP's partner and his pals as normal, as banter. " Boys will be boys " stuff. So many pp saying being called a MILF wouldn't bother them. They are happy to be reduced to being viewed just as sex objects. Others thinking it's OK if teenage boys use the expression, when in fact it's probably more important to challenge their use of such a derogatory term and their views of women because they are the next generation of potentially shit partners.

No wonder a lot of men behave as they do when their views and behaviour is never challenged and a lot of women enable them.

I would assume it's ironic. As in 20 years ago when American Pie came out we were all talking about MILF's and now our wives are the MILF's lol. However I - in my innocence- had no idea how precedent it was in porn. So I'd be starting with a chat to DH.

Then we have a difference of opinion, which is fine.

Tickets? Can anyone translate?

🤣

You know all men??

BeeBonnet15

Couldn’t read your post properly for all the tickets on yourself 😁

Had to Google that.
Do you think it's a stealth boast then?

Edited to show what I found when I Googled:

have tickets on oneself in American English. Austral slang. to be conceited

Wait until your called a GILF 🤦‍♀️
The day the majority of men stop looking, thinking & commenting to each other about attractive women there will be a blue moon in the sky. As long as this comment wasn't said to my face I'd brush it off as certain lads chat probably said through drink. My DH wouldn't mention this to me nor can I imagine his friends speaking like this but never say never, men will be men.

Nice bunch of friends your DH has got there.🙄. Does your DH think you'd be flattered by the male attention?or did he frame it as "You'll never believe what that wanker Dave has written, I'll have to have it out with him".

Plenty of women talk like this about men, too.

I’m not disagreeing with you, btw. Just saying that it’s very common in both sexes.

DP and I are both mid forties but his friend is younger. There was a further derogatory comment by this person which has only made me angrier. Someone posted about MILF being a term used in porn and I think that is what triggered me.

Do you also take wolf-whistling and cat-calling as compliments?

Oh and I'm certainly not flattered by this. No tickets here. I've basically been reduced to a slang porn type by someone who doesn't even know me and won't ever now get the chance to.

Well they can't have been "really nice " can they?
And if the chats were so vile they should have been handed over to the police why didn't you hand them over to the police?

If your husband didn’t associate with men who spoke like this then he would have no mates. Because they all say stuff like that. Milf is pretty tame I’d say.

What does it mean?

I know I’m in the minority…. but if it was said about me, I’d first think ewwww, but then secretly take it as a compliment 😂🤭

I don't agree with the posters claiming it is normal for all men - we must mix in very different circles. I cannot imagine anyone making a smutty comment about me to DH. He is not a smutty comment person regardless of the context. Add to that he would not in any way give the impression you could make disparaging remarks about his wife in his presence.

It sounds like your DH and his coterie do not really respect women and see them as equals. It is your DH you have this issue with. He needs to work on his atitude to women and how he talks about them as he must have set the tone that his friend felt safe to make such a crass and in appropriate comment to him - and to commit it to writing. It is vile.

mother I'd like to fuck.

Really rude thing to say about someone's wife

Mother I'd like to Fuck.

Agree. Women are conditioned to laugh and cope with sexist ‘banter’ in order not to seem like an uptight prude etc. They are not meant to make a fuss, even when upset and angry inside. ‘Smile love!’ ‘Can’t you take a joke’. etc. We are meant to see this crap as flattering when in fact it’s a display of misygyny and power.

No they don't!! Maybe all men of a certain type do. But not ALL men.

That’s depressing.

Aw can you not imagine your little prince watching a hard core porn video on a watsap group 😂😂

DP initially said oh don't worry it's just banter but also said he would call him out as he could tell I was offended. Just checked the group chat and he hasn't said anything. Yes he shouldn't have shown me his lads chat but I can't unsee it now! And I'm still pissed off waking up this morning. I not usually prone to sense of humour failures but this has got to me.