I'm a MILF apparently...

[JustAnotherIdiotAgain]

Just seen a WhatsApp chat (showed to me by DP) where I have been referred to by one of his friends as a MILF.... I'm fucking fuming. Trying not to overreact but the bloody cheek...
Personally I find this dismissive and insulting but didn't think I would be quite this angry. Happy to be told I'm overreacting but not sure I can let this slide!

Don't get worked up about it, take it as a complement instead.

It’s weird that your husband has friends who tell him they want to fuck his wife…..it’s weird for him to tell you about it.

To play devil's advocate for a minute, he's probably not even thought of porn when he's called you that. Yes, it's a category that you'd find on porn sites, but so is "ginger". If he said "You're wife sure is ginger", you wouldn't think he was comparing you to a porn star.

MILF originally comes from American Pie, and that's what most men are referencing when they hear or say MILF. He was basically just telling your husband he thought you were hot, which is a stupid enough thing to have done, he won't have been thinking of the porn connotations.

Via studies conducted, 60-90% of adult men in the UK watch porn. Keep in mind, this is self-reported so likely to be higher than this. A conservative estimate would be more like 80-95%.

So ‘not all men’, but the vast majority.

The worst thing about having been a milf for a long time (so I was told) is when you stop being one...
Then be pissed off!!

OK, I wasn't talking so much about watching porn.. I'm certain all young men watch it! More the whole "men will always talk to their mates in derogatory terms" trope.

Oh fgs, there's far more in life to worry about and get worked up about!

I'd personally just choose to 1)not be offended by it and 2)ignore it and get on with my day.... life is too short to get triggered by things like this

Yeah, it's pretty shocking when you get a peek behind the scenes at how men really think and talk about women. They're so good at hiding their misogyny most of the time.

This is getting way off topic but in case anyone is thinking porn usage stops over time…

18-24 years:

• Likely the highest consumption rate, 90-98%
• Factors: High internet usage, sexual exploration, fewer committed relationships

25-34 years:

• Still very high, 85-95%
• Factors: Established internet habits, mix of single and partnered individuals

35-44 years:

• Slightly lower but still significant, 80-90%
• Factors: More likely to be in long-term relationships, potentially busier with career/family

45-54 years:

• Moderate to high use, 75-85%
• Factors: Established life patterns, varying comfort with technology

55-64 years:

• Lower consumption, 65-75%
• Factors: Less familiarity with internet pornography, generational attitudes

65+ years:

• Lowest consumption, 50-60%
• Factors: Least familiarity with internet, generational attitudes, potential health issues

You then become a GILF 🤦‍♀️🤣

This is not an exclusively male thing. Have you never seen discussions between woment calling men dilf or gilfs? I certainly remember when Larry Lamb was on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here he was frequently referred to on social media and forums by women as a 'gilf'. Is this not the same thing?

I’m female and my female friends call me MILF and we call each others dad’s DILF. It’s just banter, I couldn’t get worked up over this.

Ooops wrong thread. 🙄😂

I'd expect DH to leave a WhatsApp group that said that about me. And if he didn't, I'd start looking at him differently.

^This

I couldn't get upset about this

DH works on the railway, used to be on the track (too old to be on track now!). You've never heard such foul mouthed stuff in your life...that's actually really tame what OP's DH is talking about 😬

Edited to add all male environment.

All your example proves is how people use words and expressions and have absolutely no idea what they actually mean. It just shows some people are just plain ignorant.

This wouldn't trigger me in the way it has for you. It's just a word that's thrown about for an attractive woman , it's not that deep.

Is your husbands friend a 15 year old and is it 2008??

Oh god I'd be mortified and booking a facelift

Never ever heard of dilfs or gilfs.
Do women search for porn featuring dilfs and gilfs like men search for porn featuring MILFs?

I work in an all male environment and none of the men I work with talk like that! Most adult males don’t spend much time talking about women at all!

No it really isn’t. This is a sign of appreciation unfortunately- a clap on the back for her DH.

How is that 'nice bum' example remotely the same?

We must move in different circles because I have never had a friend say to me on a WhatsApp group "haha I would like to fuck your husband, even though he's a dad!!".

That is what MILF means. Apparently men say this so often they need an acronym for it. Not only have I never heard a woman say this about a friend's husband, women don't use established porn categories to talk about men that they know. They certainly don't do this to talk about their friend's husbands in a WhatsApp group that includes the friend. It's deranged behaviour. It's alarming that the OP's husband thinks it's acceptable. Very alarming that other women think it's acceptable also.

maybe not in front of you.