I'm a MILF apparently...

[JustAnotherIdiotAgain]

Just seen a WhatsApp chat (showed to me by DP) where I have been referred to by one of his friends as a MILF.... I'm fucking fuming. Trying not to overreact but the bloody cheek...
Personally I find this dismissive and insulting but didn't think I would be quite this angry. Happy to be told I'm overreacting but not sure I can let this slide!

This should not just be ignored as male banter. Men need to be calling out other men on this. I would be disappointed with your partner for not saying something in the first place, but I would be even more disappointed if he didn’t react in any future chats

It is offensive. Are we all supposed to feel grateful that some bloke thinks we're good enough to shag? Give me strength.

blankittyblank · Today 09:35

Hahaha! I'm not talking about my prince, whoever that is. I'm saying there are certain types of men who wouldn't do this. I'm talking about some creative and artsy types, men who are deeply empathetic, or some of the guys I work in tech who I just KNOW are not into this shit.

Awww I think it's so sweet and endearing that you believe this! 😂

You appear to really have low standards. And seem to be confusing decency with naïveté.

I am sorry that life has treated you this way but please try and encourage other boys/men around you to do better and girls/women to expect better. Rather than mocking those of us who don’t live a Neanderthal existence.

It's sweet of you to assume that you know a man whom you've never met much, much better than his wife or long-standing colleague ever could.

David Tennant is definitely an excellent example of a DILF!

I couldn’t get worked up about this! I’d take it as a compliment!

Awwww, bless you. I would love to be so innocent and naïve. 😄

This exactly. It's just banter - and just a laugh. Some posters on here need to chill! It's no worse than the legions of women who drool and coo over male strippers and the like, raucous factory women who letch over good looking men/builders/workmen etc, and Loose Women having almost-naked men on their show and cor-blimeying over them.

I am sure the women whose men NEVER say misogynistic or sexist things would NEVER entertain such filth though! Bet they get dressed in the dark and wear marigolds when they DTD! 😆

I don't know whether it's sweet and endearing that these posters believe their men NEVER say this shit when they're not there, or worrying.

Bit of both I think!

Why are so many women invested in wanting to know random men want to fuck them?

Do you need validation from men? Any man? What if the guy is a serial killer or rapist and he says you are a MILF?Will you be happy about that? You know nothing about the man apart from he thinks you are fuckable and yet you think it's a compliment?

Erm because I don’t assume every man is a rapist or serial killer! I personally wouldn’t be offended by it that’s all I’m saying. I have a lovely husband and so no I don’t need validation.

I can’t bear the whole chippendales thing of women screeching and leering over men either. Though I do think there is a different power dynamic there.

I think you have been brainwashed into thinking catcalls and milf comments are compliments and are perhaps one of these women whose self-esteem needs male validation. You are not alone sadly. Pick me girls don’t do feminism any favours.

All that marigold stuff is just silly internalised misogyny though; you probably like to call women prudes for having standards and boundaries.

And of course nobody knows what anyone says when they are out of hearing. But you can make a good guess based on knowing someone’s values and beliefs, whether that’s a man or woman.

Yeah this. ^ Also, two thirds of 623 posters (so far!) think the OP is being unreasonable and making a fuss about nothing.

I rest my case!

You can't argue with batshit. So I'm out. I'll leave the ranty frothers to it.

You have been far less calm and more ranty than most here. Frothing with exclamation marks. Perhaps you don’t understand the terms you use.

And fwiw an opinion poll means little. The majority are not always ‘right’. Sexist views pervade society and will take a long time to disappear. It’s not just men who are guilty of misogyny, as you have shown.

I'm really glad you have a lovely husband - some of the posters on this thread would gave us believe there is no such thing.

But if you have a lovely husband it makes it even more inexplicable to me that you would take a random man calling you a MILF a compliment. Why should a random man's opinion of you matter to you?

Just that… it doesn’t matter! I’m not upset by it! I’d think it was funny and not feel the need to post about it!

By the way random men are sometimes murderers and rapists. I had a conversation with a passer by at my old house. He was complimenting me on my garden and just casually dropped into the conversation he'd just been released from prison where he had been serving a sentence for murder.
Fair gave me a fright because he was so unassuming.

If someone in your DH’s chat said something similar about your teenage daughter (if you have one) would you see it as a compliment?

Are you raising sons to use derogatory terms about females? Sexist comments to girls is a huge problem in schools under the guise of banter. Would be great if adults could model better behaviour

I still don't see how it's funny or a compliment to be told by a random stranger he'd like to fuck you? What is funny or complimentary about been viewed as a sex object or a blow up doll?

Oh god get a grip!

It's clear a lot of people think I'm overreacting by being angry at being referred to as a MILF - a term I personally consider derogatory and dismissive. I actually haven't reacted to this in RL apart from posting on here so I haven't made a fuss to DP - nothing to be gained by doing that. He did question the terminology as being disrespectful to me - whatever he chooses to do is up to him. It's certainly not a reflection on him or how he treats me. But for me personally I hate it and don't consider it complimentary because it's slang.

It's absolutely disgusting. Don't tolerate it. It's not a nice term is it. Gross. He could have said, I really like your wife's witty conversation. But no he said I'd like to fuck your wife.

I have got a grip.
I just don't understand why you think it's a compliment.
Bad enough if a guy calls you this to your face.
Saying it about you to your DH or DP just adds an extra unpleasant dimension to it.