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AIBU?

For a billion quid tax free would you...

187 replies

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:04

Just some funny escapism we played at work today, please don't take this thread seriously or go pc on me, it's just fun... You can say yes to them all or individually give a yes/no and why.

`1. Go on Jeremy Kyle with your family (no kids under 18), it's all scripted but it's utter humiliation and you can never tell any1 it was all fake. It's going to be really dramatic and memorable. So think really humiliating stuff like you and your mum are fighting over a 17 year old lover and you and your mum/sister having to be restrained in a physical fight...

2... Organise a massive family gathering (no kids allowed) with all your friends for a birthday and humiliate yourself...think dancing on floor and doing Britney by wearing a short skirt and nothing under and flashing your boobs, trying it on with all the men there, trying to do dirty dancing on the floor and so on totally disgracing yourself. If anybody tries to stop you then you make a huge Eastenders style scene. Again utter humiliation and you can never tell anybody except your husband/partner it was for money.

3... Do a porno.

4.. Spend 3 years in jail.

5...Move to USA with your partner and kids/grandkids and never being allowed anymore contact with parents/siblings/friends ever again. You can say goodbye to them but no contact ever again.

6...Not be allowed to see your kids for 1 year, they are well looked after but 0 contact for a year.

7... Write a really homophobic/racist/misogyny/ misandry /anti semitic and so on status on social media and never being allowed to say you did it for the money.

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Am I being unreasonable?

68 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
65%
You are NOT being unreasonable
35%
justaboutdonenow · 27/02/2024 20:10
  1. Nope
  2. Possibly
  3. Probably
  4. Probably not
  5. Possible, definitely if I could still have contact with friends
  6. No
  7. Probably yes but only if it could be a misandric comment
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TheSnowyOwl · 27/02/2024 20:14

Spending three years in jail seems the most appealing of those options!

Does anyone else need to watch the porno as that will hugely influence my answer?

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ComtesseDeSpair · 27/02/2024 20:15
  1. Yes.
  2. Yes
  3. Yes
  4. No
  5. Most of them are in the US - are they still allowed?
  6. Hell yes
  7. No


Fairly comfortable with people laughing at me: I’m not that invested in other people’s opinions of me, thus 1-3 would be easy. Wouldn’t do 7 because deliberately causing hurt to others for my own gain isn’t my bag.
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LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:15

justaboutdonenow · 27/02/2024 20:10

  1. Nope
  2. Possibly
  3. Probably
  4. Probably not
  5. Possible, definitely if I could still have contact with friends
  6. No
  7. Probably yes but only if it could be a misandric comment

5, 0 contact with friends or most family ever again. Just kids and partner and grandkids you are allowed.

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LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:16

TheSnowyOwl · 27/02/2024 20:14

Spending three years in jail seems the most appealing of those options!

Does anyone else need to watch the porno as that will hugely influence my answer?

Porno going to be bigger than Pamela Anderson one via marketing. It's you and Danny de Vito.

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NonoLePetitRobot · 27/02/2024 20:17
  1. Yes - we all live a quiet life so there's no one who'd really be interested.
  2. . Yes - have disgraced myself when drunk before and the humiliation passes
  3. Yes - one glimpse of my saggy naked form and viewers would switch off.
  4. No - one of my worst phobias
  5. No - my parents have few people in their lives
  6. No kids so can't answer
  7. No, don't think I could bring myself to do that.
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minou123 · 27/02/2024 20:17

Excellent thread.

`1. Go on Jeremy Kyle with your family
No. Couldn't do it. Not even for a billion quid..

2... Organise a massive family gathering (no kids allowed) with all your friends for a birthday and humiliate yourself
Um, fuck, I've done this for free 😬
So, yes, more than happy to repeat it for a billion

3... Do a porno.
Yep. I'd probably do other for a million

4.. Spend 3 years in jail.
Absolutely, yes.

5...Move to USA with your partner and kids/grandkids
Probably not.

6...Not be allowed to see your kids for 1 year, they are well looked after but 0 contact for a year.
Don't have kids, but for a billion, probably yes.

7... Write a really homophobic/racist/misogyny/ misandry /anti semitic
No. Never. Couldn't do it.

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PingvsPong · 27/02/2024 20:18

For a billion, not a million, I'd do all of that except for 5.
And for 5 - just my parents. No siblings, friends are replaceable so not that bothered.

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TheSnowyOwl · 27/02/2024 20:19

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:16

Porno going to be bigger than Pamela Anderson one via marketing. It's you and Danny de Vito.

Well if it’s that big, it’ll have to be in high demand which suggests I must have found the time to go to the gym beforehand. In that case, I’m all in. 🤣

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ImnotadickheadIpromise · 27/02/2024 20:19

Not going to lie the answer to all is yes… though I don’t have kids so number 6 doesn’t count (am I allow my mum for number 5 instead of partner/kids/grandkids?)

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DonnaBanana · 27/02/2024 20:19

Porno is the easy choice from that list. To be honest I’d do that for a hundred thousand.

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LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:19

NonoLePetitRobot · 27/02/2024 20:17

  1. Yes - we all live a quiet life so there's no one who'd really be interested.
  2. . Yes - have disgraced myself when drunk before and the humiliation passes
  3. Yes - one glimpse of my saggy naked form and viewers would switch off.
  4. No - one of my worst phobias
  5. No - my parents have few people in their lives
  6. No kids so can't answer
  7. No, don't think I could bring myself to do that.

The whole point of the Jeremy Kyle one is that it's all scripted to make you and your family seem very tabloid trashy. You would be made interesting.

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LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:20

ImnotadickheadIpromise · 27/02/2024 20:19

Not going to lie the answer to all is yes… though I don’t have kids so number 6 doesn’t count (am I allow my mum for number 5 instead of partner/kids/grandkids?)

no kids only and partner because I know nobody would desert their kids for money, well most wouldn't.

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Itwasafterallallaboutme · 27/02/2024 20:20
  1. Yes


  1. Yes


  1. Yes


  1. Yes


  1. No - if my parents had been still alive, Yes if not.


  1. No


  1. No.
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saltinesandcoffeecups · 27/02/2024 20:20

Yeah I’d probably do them all.

ETA.. I’m already in the US so I imagined a different country

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PingvsPong · 27/02/2024 20:21

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:19

The whole point of the Jeremy Kyle one is that it's all scripted to make you and your family seem very tabloid trashy. You would be made interesting.

But why would anybody with a billion care what anyone else thinks of them?
you never have to rely on anybody else again. Or any charity. Just flash the cash.
I may sound like a snob but I wouldn't do that for a million, the average London property costs more than half a million these days.

A billion is 1000 millions. There are only 3000+ billionaires in the world. Out of a population of 8 billion human beings.

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ImnotadickheadIpromise · 27/02/2024 20:21

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:20

no kids only and partner because I know nobody would desert their kids for money, well most wouldn't.

Can I have a partner then 🤣

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Ponoka7 · 27/02/2024 20:21

I'd do 1,3,5 and 7.

We have family connections around the world, so probably wouldn't stay in the UK. The comment (7) would be misandry.
I'd do 2 if it could be last and my eldest DD could stop me quite quickly.
4 I'd do if my family got the money as I started the sentence.

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StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 27/02/2024 20:22

Yes to all of them.

The worst for me would be not seeing my kids for a year, they would benefit hugely though so worth it.

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EmmaGrundyForPM · 27/02/2024 20:22

I'm.not sure I could do any of those. Obviously public humiliation is more of an issue for me than I realised!

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minou123 · 27/02/2024 20:22

I love these sorts of questions

Quick question back to you @LindaHamilton

For a billion quid, would you have sex - and I mean full sex, for one night - with either
a) Donald Trump
b) Boris Johnson
c) Nigeria Farage

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roarrfeckingroar · 27/02/2024 20:23

I would do 3 and 7. Not the rest.

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LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:24

For the people saying they have disgraced themselves being drunk before so could do it...um this has to be 10 times worse. Think flashing yourself to others in front of your parents, doing lap dancing to your old male relatives,pissing on the dance floor of the function room where your birthday is held with all your nearest and dearest there...it's extreme. Not simply drunken behaviour.

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minou123 · 27/02/2024 20:24

minou123 · 27/02/2024 20:22

I love these sorts of questions

Quick question back to you @LindaHamilton

For a billion quid, would you have sex - and I mean full sex, for one night - with either
a) Donald Trump
b) Boris Johnson
c) Nigeria Farage

I meant Nigel Farage 😂

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LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:24

minou123 · 27/02/2024 20:22

I love these sorts of questions

Quick question back to you @LindaHamilton

For a billion quid, would you have sex - and I mean full sex, for one night - with either
a) Donald Trump
b) Boris Johnson
c) Nigeria Farage

I'd do that for 20k, they aren't that bad.

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