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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For a billion quid tax free would you...

187 replies

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:04

Just some funny escapism we played at work today, please don't take this thread seriously or go pc on me, it's just fun... You can say yes to them all or individually give a yes/no and why.

`1. Go on Jeremy Kyle with your family (no kids under 18), it's all scripted but it's utter humiliation and you can never tell any1 it was all fake. It's going to be really dramatic and memorable. So think really humiliating stuff like you and your mum are fighting over a 17 year old lover and you and your mum/sister having to be restrained in a physical fight...

2... Organise a massive family gathering (no kids allowed) with all your friends for a birthday and humiliate yourself...think dancing on floor and doing Britney by wearing a short skirt and nothing under and flashing your boobs, trying it on with all the men there, trying to do dirty dancing on the floor and so on totally disgracing yourself. If anybody tries to stop you then you make a huge Eastenders style scene. Again utter humiliation and you can never tell anybody except your husband/partner it was for money.

3... Do a porno.

4.. Spend 3 years in jail.

5...Move to USA with your partner and kids/grandkids and never being allowed anymore contact with parents/siblings/friends ever again. You can say goodbye to them but no contact ever again.

6...Not be allowed to see your kids for 1 year, they are well looked after but 0 contact for a year.

7... Write a really homophobic/racist/misogyny/ misandry /anti semitic and so on status on social media and never being allowed to say you did it for the money.

OP posts:
Growlybear83 · 27/02/2024 20:37

minou123 · 27/02/2024 20:22

I love these sorts of questions

Quick question back to you @LindaHamilton

For a billion quid, would you have sex - and I mean full sex, for one night - with either
a) Donald Trump
b) Boris Johnson
c) Nigeria Farage

I really wish I hadn't read this - I've just sat down to eat my dinner and the thought of any of them has put me off my food. I think you've picked three of the most repulsive men on the planet

Neveralonewithaclone · 27/02/2024 20:38

Can my dog come to USA?

VerduraNet · 27/02/2024 20:38

Only number 3 that i would consider

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:39

TomeTome · 27/02/2024 20:37

Maybe easy to say if you couldn’t do a lot of them, but no I’m not even tempted

yea because the billion isn't in front of you. If it was physically there then things might very much change...

OP posts:
britneyisfree · 27/02/2024 20:39

Except 4 & 6 I'd do any. Could never leave my DC but asides from that, bring it on!!!!!

OneTC · 27/02/2024 20:40

Any and all of the above and probably more. It's a billion quid, I'm struggling to think of anything I wouldn't do for a billion quid. I'd only start developing morals if we were getting under 1m

ImnotadickheadIpromise · 27/02/2024 20:40

In for a penny in for a (billion) pound… I’d do a porno with Trump, Johnson and Farage at the same time for that kind of money 🤣

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:41

britneyisfree · 27/02/2024 20:39

Except 4 & 6 I'd do any. Could never leave my DC but asides from that, bring it on!!!!!

With leaving your kids I could do that as it's not forever and the money would greatly help them. Look at the amount of us here who are resentful and angry at our financial/work situations...

OP posts:
TomeTome · 27/02/2024 20:42

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:39

yea because the billion isn't in front of you. If it was physically there then things might very much change...

You asked a question which I answered. What was the point of asking if you’d already decided what everyone would say?

MCOut · 27/02/2024 20:42

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:16

Porno going to be bigger than Pamela Anderson one via marketing. It's you and Danny de Vito.

😂 brilliant, thread.

1 or 2. Everyone would know 1 is a lie because we’re boring and 2 my partner would tell people.

AncientSkaterGirl · 27/02/2024 20:43

1-5 yes (although then prison one is a maybe - could I Still have contact with my children?)

6 and 7 no amount of money could make me do either of those.

minou123 · 27/02/2024 20:43

ImnotadickheadIpromise · 27/02/2024 20:40

In for a penny in for a (billion) pound… I’d do a porno with Trump, Johnson and Farage at the same time for that kind of money 🤣

That genuinely made me laugh.

😂

LoveSandbanks · 27/02/2024 20:44

Growlybear83 · 27/02/2024 20:37

I really wish I hadn't read this - I've just sat down to eat my dinner and the thought of any of them has put me off my food. I think you've picked three of the most repulsive men on the planet

For a billion quid I’d still do them all at once.

a billion isn’t just life changing is super, massive generational wealth. Would I shag Trump for a billion pounds and set up future generations for long after I’m dead.

absolutely. Anyone that said money doesn’t buy happiness never needed to pay a psychiatrist!

LaPalmaLlama · 27/02/2024 20:44

I'd do 1,2,4 and 6 because the kids would let me off 6 when I gave them a share of the spoils.

Waitingfordoggo · 27/02/2024 20:44

Yes to prison, no to everything else (and only because the prison one didn’t have the caveat of not being able to explain the circumstances to loved ones- if that same caveat applies then it’s no to everything). A billion quid is a stupid amount of money anyway and would possibly ruin my life.

MCOut · 27/02/2024 20:44

ImnotadickheadIpromise · 27/02/2024 20:40

In for a penny in for a (billion) pound… I’d do a porno with Trump, Johnson and Farage at the same time for that kind of money 🤣

🤣 you made my day

Neveralonewithaclone · 27/02/2024 20:44

I wouldn't mind going to prison really, but I'd miss my kids. But then i could just watch tv all day 🤔 i just don't know! No, not without my dog.

LindaHamilton · 27/02/2024 20:45

AncientSkaterGirl · 27/02/2024 20:43

1-5 yes (although then prison one is a maybe - could I Still have contact with my children?)

6 and 7 no amount of money could make me do either of those.

With 7 in fairness I think most people who know you would think you were having a mental breakdown or had mental illness if it was out of character.

OP posts:
Whycantiwinmillionsandsquillions · 27/02/2024 20:45

1-yes
2-probably
3-probably not, depends I could if it was only with dh and nobody else.
4-no
5-no
6-yes (my dcs are older)
7-no

Gotmytrombolese · 27/02/2024 20:46

I would potentially do the Jeremy Kyle, it actually sounds rather funny! Maybe the prison too!

Another question, would you shit yourself in public/at work once a week for the rest of your life for a billion quid?

LaPalmaLlama · 27/02/2024 20:46

wait, with 6, do your kids know you'll come back after 1 year or do they spend the year thinking you've gone forever?

Sdpbody · 27/02/2024 20:46

There is very little I wouldn't do for a billion pounds.

ladygindiva · 27/02/2024 20:46

I think I could do the first two but I'd struggle with the others

Plannymcplanface · 27/02/2024 20:46

Jail works out at £38,051 per hour so that would not be bad but what do people think you’re convicted of !

Daisybuttercup12345 · 27/02/2024 20:47
  1. I would say I was being forced to do it without mentioning the money.