Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

This does make you sound quite insecure.

I mean, the fact that you don’t want to hold their hands while they fall asleep suggests you hate them. I wonder how your kids would feel if they knew that you didn’t want to hold their hands as they fall asleep, especially if you’re a full-time mom^

^Not sure you can still be a full-time mom if your kids go to school and are in someone else’s care for half the day. Sounds distinctly like a part-time mom to me.

I at least understand you OP!

The comprehension on Mumsnet is horrendous. The judging of others on Mumsnet is also horrendous. A mixture of the 2, as we have here, is bound to end up with hundreds of posts mad at you for something other than what you’re actually saying 🤣🤣

I don't care what it makes me, I wouldnt have appreciated my parents referring to me in such a trivial, nonchalant manner.

Actually stay at home mum is the term you are looking for!

So your saying they should drag them out with them past their bedtime and not able to have a drink?

It's really important for people psychologically as individuals and as a couple not to lose their identities as those things, outside the role of parent. It's important for our sense of self and it's important for our life as a couple. It's also hard to do when you're a parent, so making time to celebrate our identities outside the identity of "parent" is very healthy. That's what I see these posts as - reclaiming and staking a claim to ourselves and our lives as people, not just as parents.

It doesn't mean they think their kids are awful. It means they are celebrating every facet of their identity.

Really? The other thread wasn't enough for you?

I've had childfree evenings, weekends etc and I've never hid the fact that I enjoy that it's childfree. My DC can't read so it's all good.

Exactly my beef is these mums need to caption their nights out with trivial, nonchalant referrals to their children. When in fact their children are not there so don't need to be mentioned whatsoever! It's not about mothers or parents enjoying nights out, it's the constant need to highlight their kids are missing!

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying and savouring time away . Mine are all grown now, but now although I love my husband deeply and enjoy his company, I absolutely adore it when he goes away for the odd night and I have the house to myself!

Me too. My DS is going on a week long cricket trip in October half term and I'm planning a week away for just DH and me. Nothing unsavoury about it. I'm looking forward to it.

Don't fret OP. In a few years time when those poor abandoned children are off on their 1st trip away with their friends (a festival in DD's case), they can post photos with the hashtags #parentfree, #notaparentinsight.......won't somebody think of the parents!!

No! Just caption it "drinks with friends" "catching up" "couple time" no need for the grim "notakidinsight"

Karma 😂

Enjoy it & I hope your DS has a great trip. Sounds like a fab opportunity for him x

It seems that the OP is in a very good, almost rare, position where she's financially (somewhat) independent, well-supported, has plenty of free time, and gets free childcare to go out (at least semi-) regularly with her husband and friends. She is also in good mental health (she declared this on a separate thread). I think given the above, it's hard for her to relate to a position where having any enjoyable leisure time away from kids may be rare due to work commitments/finances/lack of childcare/disability etc.

Yes, it might be slightly crass to post on insta about your childfree night, but the undertone is possibly that this person struggles in their day to day life to have time to connect with their husband or friends in a meaningful way and they're celebrating the opportunity to do so.

I think it's really important to maintain and develop your relationship as a couple by going on dates away from DC.

@Bridgetjoneski Last weekend I had a lovely child free weekend away with my partner 🥰 At one point on the Saturday afternoon while enjoying a pint overlooking the river I actually commented "isn't it nice not to have a kid asking you for something every 5 minutes?" 😱 I'm sure I'll burn in hell for this.

Doesn’t bother me one bit and I probably get one child free weekend a year (if that!). We dont have family nearby so nights out together are incredibly rare and babysitters cost so much, it adds a big cost to going out for a simple meal.

But I have a lovely DH and kids, lovely home and secure jobs. We can’t have everything. Im not going to begrudge people enjoying nights out if they have a grandparent up the road able to have the kids. We also dont know the reason behind them posting or needing that break - they may have had a difficult week and really needed it.

@WhamBamThankU don't worry, five "Hail Baby's" should absolve you of your sins. Amen.

I don't think she 'relates' to anyone - she is way too busy judging them.

The tone of these posts!!!

I am too busy with you know, life and work, to give one flying shit about how anyone posts online!

You must have been a fun child to be around. Your parents must have relished every second away from you.

I spent EOW childfree...sometimes I went away for those weekends and didn't tell her. I flipping loved that time away.

When I say that, I'm basically saying that I have the freedom to get pissed for a change.

I had my childless time pre internet and my in-laws ensured we had child free time at least once a month. Try loved the time with their grandparents and my in-laws loved spending time with their grandchildren