Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

I'm off on holiday again this year on my own for a few days

Well you MUST keep it off of social media.

If you really have to post a photo, make sure you're wearing a swimsuit fashioned from a hair shirt.

Well personly if my parents had been telling the world on social media they were escaping from me every fortnight I'd be quite upset.

Bloody hell, I'd give my right arm for a bit of child free time. Good on them. What a weird take you have 🙄

There's a general unrelenting exhaustion that comes with parenting. It's unimaginable. There's a fuck ton of joy too, but yes, small periods of child free time really are like magic.

I suppose it's the nature of social media, people frame things in a certain way which seems to sound a bit braggy as people don't really talk like that in real life.

So instead of just going out for dinner - it's tagged as #livingyourbestlife or #meetingupwithmybesties or whatever. In this case it's #kidfree.

Just scroll by and ignore it if it's irritating.

Sounds great. Wish I could.

How lovely to have such trivial matters 'irk' you OP.

Kids are 100% a burden OP, I'm guessing you don't have them?
You have to look after them ALL the time, usually if you are the Mother. It's fucking relentless, tiresome and exhausting. No time to yourself, to go out and enjoy yourself and be the old you before someone depended on you 24/7.
I cherish my child-free time, however rare it is.

Did your folks never go out together when you were growing up? Mine went out every Saturday night and I had a babysitter. Dh and I go out way way less (three/four times a year), so actually our kids are with us much more.

I don't judge my folks for having nights out, off from parenting. Did you?

There's nothing disrespectful about telling people you're enjoying a child-free night out.

The majority of decent people would be happy to see their parents enjoying a night out once a fortnight.

Why one earth would they 'hold that against them'?

😂😂😂 It’s a good thing you tried this view out here before any friends IRL as you won’t have many left.

Of course children are a burden! They are dependent on you and need you constantly. We adore them and delight in them too but getting away from them occasionally is a wonderful thing. Even my 5yr old understands that mum works hard and wants a little time to herself sometimes.

Why the constant need to say they are child free? Are their kids really such a burden? I just think it's distasteful.

Because if they lost from a nice restaurant or, god forbid, a pub some judge smart arse will ask where the kids are, or question why they’ve taken the kids etc etc. There are no shortage of people who’ll find a parent in the wrong.

I have nice meals out, I do things my kids have no interest in, it’s good for them to see me as a person beyond being mum. Not least it’ll help my daughter see the importance of not disappearing should she have children.

Does it just annoy you because you have zero life outside of your kids?

You sound jealous and judgy tbh. Maybe it’s time for you to rejoin an adult world!

Two things can be true at the same time - you can adore your kids and love spending time with them, but still enjoy time away from them with only your partner doing adult things that you can’t do with the kids.

Awww... but you would get over it, yes?

That's so very self-centered.

I don't think I know anyone would wouldn't be pleased their beloved parents had fun every couple of weeks, without them.

I'd be ashamed of myself if I begrudged them that.

Completely agree.

Being a parent is amazing but immerses all of your life - it can be exhausting.

Me and DH enjoy time together without DS. Nice to be 'Bloom' for a bit and not just 'mummy'

Good for your friends, spending quality time together to benefit their marriage, it's often overlooked.

Distasteful? How odd. YABU.

That's really a 'you' problem. I bet you cried and went to therapy when you found out Santa wasn't real

I stayed at my grandparents every single Friday when my parents went out without me. The only inference I could’ve possibly taken from that was that my parents wanted regular time away from me. I was still well looked after and loved while they were out and it meant we have a healthy relationship and I gained independence from my parents. Social media wasn’t a thing then but it would have made no difference.

I’m more irked by parents who make their children their whole personality.

I'd argue that this mindset is probably the single biggest issue with child rearing today. When did it become normal to consider your children the centre of the universe and to do everything in your power to ensure they constantly feel that way?

It's far healthier for children to learn that actually, the world does not revolve around them. That loving and engaged parents can ALSO have other priorities. My dad was very active with a particular sport. Twice a week for an hour (no socialising before/after) but that hour (plus travel time) was inviolate. He collected me after my sports activity at school on those days, and woe betide if I was dawdling in the change room after - he was on a tight schedule to collect me, get home, change and get back to his club for training. It didn't make me feel like he loved me less - I just learnt that sometimes people have things that are really important to them and that's normal and healthy.

I am confused about which bit irks you exactly - child-free time, their wealth or their full time job.

It's also worth remembering that kids often really enjoy a little break from their parents.

I absolutely loved it when my nan and grandad would babysit.

I had different adults to play board games with, my nan would bring her homemade apple pie, we got to stay up a little bit later and then grandad would read me a story.

Really lovely memories.

I agree with you OP. If you’re so happy to be away from your children why bother having them.