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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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12
Onevelvetmorning · 30/09/2023 18:32

😳

BIossomtoes · 30/09/2023 18:33

🤯

Allthecatseverywhereallatonce · 30/09/2023 18:39

I can't believe this could happen in the modern world. They really do think they own women.

pointythings · 30/09/2023 18:52

The US is no longer a civilised country, if it ever was.

aviatorsrus · 30/09/2023 18:53

Women are losing their basic human rights by religious zealots and the patriarchy telling us what we should think and what we should actually do with our bodies. And if you can't afford to take care of the child or just don't want one???
Where is your right to choose??
The world is getting very dark these days.

BiscuitsandPuffin · 30/09/2023 18:56

To be fair, I recently found out what actually happens during an abortion, and I am horrified. I think we should all have open and transparent information about exactly what is happening and how the procedure is done because it is physically impossible to give informed consent without this information, it's disgraceful that they fluff over the truth and treat us like children when we're literally making life or death decisions. While I think this lawyer is going too far, I understand now why they feel so strongly about it.

pointythings · 30/09/2023 18:58

BiscuitsandPuffin · 30/09/2023 18:56

To be fair, I recently found out what actually happens during an abortion, and I am horrified. I think we should all have open and transparent information about exactly what is happening and how the procedure is done because it is physically impossible to give informed consent without this information, it's disgraceful that they fluff over the truth and treat us like children when we're literally making life or death decisions. While I think this lawyer is going too far, I understand now why they feel so strongly about it.

Edited

What do you mean, 'what happens during an abortion'? A medical early stage abortion? A later stage TFMR? A surgical abortion? I mean, if you're horrified about a woman taking a couple of pills, you need to work on resilience.

And there is open and transparent information out there, plenty of it. All you have to do is look up a reputable site. Where did you get your revelation from?

ghostyslovesheets · 30/09/2023 18:59

BiscuitsandPuffin · 30/09/2023 18:56

To be fair, I recently found out what actually happens during an abortion, and I am horrified. I think we should all have open and transparent information about exactly what is happening and how the procedure is done because it is physically impossible to give informed consent without this information, it's disgraceful that they fluff over the truth and treat us like children when we're literally making life or death decisions. While I think this lawyer is going too far, I understand now why they feel so strongly about it.

Edited

ffs Which termination are you referring to 4 weeks? 8? Terminations are carried out in different ways not all the same

and please don’t tell me you swallowed the kool aid and you think partial birth terminations exist

CantFindTheBeat · 30/09/2023 19:05

BiscuitsandPuffin · 30/09/2023 18:56

To be fair, I recently found out what actually happens during an abortion, and I am horrified. I think we should all have open and transparent information about exactly what is happening and how the procedure is done because it is physically impossible to give informed consent without this information, it's disgraceful that they fluff over the truth and treat us like children when we're literally making life or death decisions. While I think this lawyer is going too far, I understand now why they feel so strongly about it.

Edited

What exactly did you find out, @BiscuitsandPuffin?

According to the latest UK Government statistics, in 2021, 89% of abortions were carried out before 10 weeks gestation.

The fetus is a collection of cells at this stage.

What have you found out?

Soubriquet · 30/09/2023 19:06

I really do hate to see these things happen. They preach about the right of baby being born, but then when the baby is born, they don’t care.

If they were truly about the baby, there would be no children in care. All would be adopted, and all would have perfect health care.

It is never about the baby. It’s about punishing the women for getting pregnant

MollyMarples · 30/09/2023 19:14

@CantFindTheBeat A ten week foetus is rather more than a collection of cells. I’m not debating the ethics of abortions, but just so you’re aware, and informed, and so that anyone else reading your comment doesn’t falsely think they have many weeks to make a decision (if all they’re comfortable with is aborting a collection of cells).

https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/pregnancy/week-by-week-guide-to-pregnancy/1st-trimester/week-10/

nhs.uk

10 Weeks Pregnant - Week-by-week guide

10 weeks pregnant? Find out all you need to know, see how your baby is developing and how your body is changing through our week-by-week guide.

https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/pregnancy/week-by-week-guide-to-pregnancy/1st-trimester/week-10/

Universalsnail · 30/09/2023 19:21

BiscuitsandPuffin · 30/09/2023 18:56

To be fair, I recently found out what actually happens during an abortion, and I am horrified. I think we should all have open and transparent information about exactly what is happening and how the procedure is done because it is physically impossible to give informed consent without this information, it's disgraceful that they fluff over the truth and treat us like children when we're literally making life or death decisions. While I think this lawyer is going too far, I understand now why they feel so strongly about it.

Edited

Who is fluffing over the truth? I knew exactly what happens during a surgical abortion before I had one. I am pretty sure most women do.

FOJN · 30/09/2023 19:23

BiscuitsandPuffin · 30/09/2023 18:56

To be fair, I recently found out what actually happens during an abortion, and I am horrified. I think we should all have open and transparent information about exactly what is happening and how the procedure is done because it is physically impossible to give informed consent without this information, it's disgraceful that they fluff over the truth and treat us like children when we're literally making life or death decisions. While I think this lawyer is going too far, I understand now why they feel so strongly about it.

Edited

Feel free to share what you have learned.

I suspect you are talking about late term abortions. Please have some sensitivity, the women undergoing those procedures are usually doing so for medical reasons and are devastated to be ending their pregnancy.

Siameasy · 30/09/2023 19:24

CantFindTheBeat · 30/09/2023 19:05

What exactly did you find out, @BiscuitsandPuffin?

According to the latest UK Government statistics, in 2021, 89% of abortions were carried out before 10 weeks gestation.

The fetus is a collection of cells at this stage.

What have you found out?

I think that’s pretty dismissive. The fetus is alive and can move around. Google a 10 week fetus and you’ll see it’s a baby, just small. Funny how when a baby is unwanted it’s suddenly ok to be dismissive about killing it. Also funny how no one ever reacts to a positive pregnancy test by saying “we’re expecting a collection of cells”. That’s because you know full well it’s a baby.
The pro-abortionists language is like that of the trans lobby and their top surgery bottom surgery nonsense, deliberately obfuscating. Just call things what they are.

CantFindTheBeat · 30/09/2023 19:27

MollyMarples · 30/09/2023 19:14

@CantFindTheBeat A ten week foetus is rather more than a collection of cells. I’m not debating the ethics of abortions, but just so you’re aware, and informed, and so that anyone else reading your comment doesn’t falsely think they have many weeks to make a decision (if all they’re comfortable with is aborting a collection of cells).

https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/pregnancy/week-by-week-guide-to-pregnancy/1st-trimester/week-10/

@MollyMarples

Apologies,

The 89% under 10 weeks is anything from conception up to 10 weeks so I was generalising.

Having had two missed miscarriages that had stopped progressing around that time, I'm very familiar with the size of development of around 3cm

Still very much early, early days in pregnancy.

FOJN · 30/09/2023 19:27

Siameasy · 30/09/2023 19:24

I think that’s pretty dismissive. The fetus is alive and can move around. Google a 10 week fetus and you’ll see it’s a baby, just small. Funny how when a baby is unwanted it’s suddenly ok to be dismissive about killing it. Also funny how no one ever reacts to a positive pregnancy test by saying “we’re expecting a collection of cells”. That’s because you know full well it’s a baby.
The pro-abortionists language is like that of the trans lobby and their top surgery bottom surgery nonsense, deliberately obfuscating. Just call things what they are.

The important word there is "expecting". No one expects a collections of cells because by the time those cells mature at approx 40 weeks, a baby will be delivered.

At 10 weeks you don't HAVE a baby, you are EXPECTING one.

ghostyslovesheets · 30/09/2023 19:29

Siameasy · 30/09/2023 19:24

I think that’s pretty dismissive. The fetus is alive and can move around. Google a 10 week fetus and you’ll see it’s a baby, just small. Funny how when a baby is unwanted it’s suddenly ok to be dismissive about killing it. Also funny how no one ever reacts to a positive pregnancy test by saying “we’re expecting a collection of cells”. That’s because you know full well it’s a baby.
The pro-abortionists language is like that of the trans lobby and their top surgery bottom surgery nonsense, deliberately obfuscating. Just call things what they are.

Pro abortionist language - well okay I AM 100% pro-abortion - I want ALL women to have access to a safe medical environment in which to have a medical proceedure

I have had 5 MC's before 12 weeks - yes I grieved the loss of my 'baby' - the dreams I had about having my child etc but I know damn well that was I physically lost was not a baby

HollieHobbie · 30/09/2023 19:30

BiscuitsandPuffin · 30/09/2023 18:56

To be fair, I recently found out what actually happens during an abortion, and I am horrified. I think we should all have open and transparent information about exactly what is happening and how the procedure is done because it is physically impossible to give informed consent without this information, it's disgraceful that they fluff over the truth and treat us like children when we're literally making life or death decisions. While I think this lawyer is going too far, I understand now why they feel so strongly about it.

Edited

🙄 uh you do know what an abortion is for? 🤦🏻‍♀️

CantFindTheBeat · 30/09/2023 19:31

Not at all, @Siameasy

A 10 week old fetus is about 3cm long and looks like a prawn.

If you want to consider it a baby, it's a baby. If you want to consider it a collection of cells, it's a collection of cells.

It's certainly not viable.

In an ideal world, nobody would ever have an unwanted pregnancy. But we do.
And while the pregnant woman is required to gestate the unwanted pregnancy for the duration of the term, I'm on the side of the woman who wants agency over the choice to say yes or no,

vipersnest1 · 30/09/2023 19:37

@Siameasy, why conflate this with another issue? The discussion is about abortion.
Yes, I've had one, and know exactly what the procedure was, alongside knowing how abortions are done at later and earlier stages.
Anyone who wants to know what the different methods are can find them easily on the internet - they are not hidden under a veil of secrecy.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/09/2023 19:38

It DOESN'T matter if it's a collection of cells or a baby. It really doesn't. You can't force a woman to go through a pregnancy and labour if she doesn't want to. It's barbaric. And it doesn't work because all that happens is women either travel or if they are prevented, they source illegal and unsafe abortions where they are.

Really, compare the countries with free, legal, safe abortion and those where it's illegal in all cases. Nicaragua has many more abortions than Switzerland they are just unsafe and women and girls die.

If you don't like abortions, campaign for free contraception, good sex education and women's rights. Your rates will go down.

This is how you can tell it's not about abortion, it's about controlling women. If it was about reducing abortion, they'd be in favour of contraception, woman's rights and sex ed. But they aren't.

And if posters don't want an abortion, I will go to the barricades to make sure you never have one. But don't prevent other women from making their own decisions.

Rightsraptor · 30/09/2023 19:39

I've performed abortions, @BiscuitsandPuffin, they were generally around 20-22 weeks and the procedures were not anything to be horrified at. I'm wondering which country you are in or if the articles you read don't relate to modern methods in the developed world?

We did medical terminations by administering meds to 'ripen' the cervix and then to start/augment contractions - an induction really, which many women go through, albeit with the expectation of a live baby at the end. The expectation in abortions was that the fetus would dead at delivery but sometimes it was not. If not, it was removed from the parents' sight and hearing into another room. They all had the choice whether or not to see and/or hold their infant.

These were carried out for gross fetal abnormality or to save the mother's life. Any 'horror' was around emotional issues, such as the woman being seriously compromised and having no choice but to end the pregnancy, which may have been much wanted, ditto for the seriously malformed fetus.

GnusSitOnCanoes · 30/09/2023 19:39

@BiscuitsandPuffin perhaps you shouldn’t assume that everyone is as poorly educated as you? There is a wealth of clear and transparent information out there about abortions - the fact you have not bothered to research it, is only a reflection on you.

notahappybunny7 · 30/09/2023 19:49

Soubriquet · 30/09/2023 19:06

I really do hate to see these things happen. They preach about the right of baby being born, but then when the baby is born, they don’t care.

If they were truly about the baby, there would be no children in care. All would be adopted, and all would have perfect health care.

It is never about the baby. It’s about punishing the women for getting pregnant

Yep. And no fucker cares how she got pregnant, she could’ve been raped, have learning difficulties anything. She may not even be a woman, could be a child and they don’t give a shit.

Kemper · 30/09/2023 19:53

pointythings · 30/09/2023 18:52

The US is no longer a civilised country, if it ever was.

Give over.