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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be profoundly saddened by this story

615 replies

Changeditforyou · 27/09/2023 13:28

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12565699/Police-rush-scene-incident-outside-busy-Croydon-shopping-centre.html

They tell us to help our daughters to protect themselves from male violence by thinking about what they wear, how much they drink, how late to stay out, where they go…
Are we supposed to add to the list ‘not rejecting a bunch of flowers in case you get stabbed to death’. This is horrifying.

I’m so so sick of male violence. It feels everywhere and inescapable. More luck than anything that your daughter isn’t the one. This poor girl and her family.

Teenage boy stabbed girl, 15, to death with 'a machete after argument'

Met Police officers rushed to Wellesley Road outside the Whitgift shopping centre. Paramedics battled to save the 15-year-old's life but she was pronounced dead at the scene.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12565699/Police-rush-scene-incident-outside-busy-Croydon-shopping-centre.html

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 27/09/2023 15:48

As the mother of a daughter I just despair. How can we protect our girls from this?

We can't and it's fucking depressing. I have a 16 year old DD and she can and does stand up for herself verbally. She embarrased a group of boys at school yesterday after hearing what they'd been saying about her and a couple of her friends before a party at the weekend.

But what chance do these girls stand when things escalate like this. She'll probably read this story and decide to keep her mouth shut in future.

It's utterly heartbreaking that this girl left home for school and never made it home. Over a bunch of fucking flowers 💔

jm9138 · 27/09/2023 15:48

Are you being serious? What is scary is that you probably are

5128gap · 27/09/2023 15:50

BrokenButNotFinished · 27/09/2023 14:32

Why do we need to know about her school fees?? Is there a narrative being peddled here that she thought herself too good for him (since it isn't clear he went to the same school)...?? It has to be her fault somehow. 🤨

I think the subtext is, isn't it extra awful that this has happened to a middle class girl from a 'good' family.
Its either to make it all the more sensational because it goes against the view that only a certain type of girl will 'get herself' into danger, or it attempts to challenge that by showing no one is safe. I honestly can't decide which.

Fuckthatguy · 27/09/2023 15:50

@Sunshinenrain can you explain what the actual fuck you mean please?

That boy probably doesn’t even understand remorse, whilst her parents are sentenced to life long devastation.

Fuckthatguy · 27/09/2023 15:51

Oh Ffs have any of the posters bringing race and class into this even been inside an independent school in London.

This is about male violence.

Westfacing · 27/09/2023 15:52

I'm reminded of the bastard in Iran who totally blinded, with acid, the young woman who turned down his marriage proposal. She had the nerve to reject him.

She also pardoned him when he was sentenced to be blinded by the same method... an eye for eye.

FoodFann · 27/09/2023 15:54

@LakeTiticaca absolutely agree. It should be zero tolerance. You have a weapon, you go to prison, end of story

murasaki · 27/09/2023 15:55

She went to a girls' school. Not that it matters in any way.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 27/09/2023 15:59

Brefugee · 27/09/2023 15:41

2 women a week

Show quote history

Yes I am aware. Just saying it isn't new unfortunately. Women have always been at risk when leaving a DV relationship.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 27/09/2023 16:01

mathanxiety · 27/09/2023 15:03

This isn't about Croydon.

It's about men mistaking women for property.

100%

themonkeysnuts · 27/09/2023 16:01

If it was up to me, i would get that lad take him to the morgue and make him see exactly what he had done and make him explain why he has taken a beautiful girls life away . then lock him up for at least 5 years

Mstxxx · 27/09/2023 16:02

If it was an immigrant or asylum seeker, all hell would be broken loose online. We'd have everyone calling for tighter border restrictions, we'd have MP's commenting, the prime minister making promises

If it was a dog that killed her, we'd again have hell broken loose online, tighter restrictions, bans on the breed

Instead we all feel sad about it and don't do anything to address men's violent behaviour. The common denominator in most stabbings, gun violence, violence against women, violence against men, violence against kids, violence against animals - is men. Something needs to happen.

JoanThursday1972 · 27/09/2023 16:04

Theunamedcat · 27/09/2023 14:59

Why the FUCK is the cost of her education important? Does it make a difference in the eyes of the law?

It's the Daily Mail. They are obsessed with the prices of people's houses, so this is not a surprise.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 27/09/2023 16:04

themonkeysnuts · 27/09/2023 16:01

If it was up to me, i would get that lad take him to the morgue and make him see exactly what he had done and make him explain why he has taken a beautiful girls life away . then lock him up for at least 5 years

5 years?? Was that a typo??

drhf · 27/09/2023 16:05

A true hate crime, which courts too often excuse as a “crime of passion”.

The purpose was to control this girl, and the effect is to control every girl. Parents will be saying to their daughters, You have to let boys down gently, you have to watch out for bad guys, focus on your studies, don’t go out by yourself, text so I know where you are, don’t be too friendly, don’t be too unfriendly etc. Do this, do that, you are responsible for men’s misogynistic violence. Of course parents want to keep daughters safe and I would say the same things - and that is the effect of a crime like this.

londonmummy1966 · 27/09/2023 16:07

BrokenButNotFinished · 27/09/2023 14:32

Why do we need to know about her school fees?? Is there a narrative being peddled here that she thought herself too good for him (since it isn't clear he went to the same school)...?? It has to be her fault somehow. 🤨

The chances are she wasn't paying that anyway as lots of the girls at that school are on assisted places from the Whitgift Foundation.

It will a truly terrible week for all at that school as they were told on Friday that the school would be closing with no consultation of staff/parents etc. My heart goes out to the family and friends but also to the staff - the worst possible week any teacher could have.

cocksstrideintheevening · 27/09/2023 16:07

Itsgettingweirdnow · 27/09/2023 14:44

I do agree (OP is really having a week of it as well, considering they are closing) although if HE is from a state school all hell will break loose.

Arrested in New Addington. There could be a massive fallout from this.

EasternStandard · 27/09/2023 16:08

ThIs is utterly horrific

YouJustDoYou · 27/09/2023 16:08

Mstxxx · 27/09/2023 16:02

If it was an immigrant or asylum seeker, all hell would be broken loose online. We'd have everyone calling for tighter border restrictions, we'd have MP's commenting, the prime minister making promises

If it was a dog that killed her, we'd again have hell broken loose online, tighter restrictions, bans on the breed

Instead we all feel sad about it and don't do anything to address men's violent behaviour. The common denominator in most stabbings, gun violence, violence against women, violence against men, violence against kids, violence against animals - is men. Something needs to happen.

And if it had been a trans kid killed you can bet your bottom dollar that community would be up in arms, there'd be protests, marches....but just another girl murdered for turning down a male? Silence.

Beaverbridge · 27/09/2023 16:08

So tragic poor girl. All her life in front of her. He's went out with that in mind to kill. Poor bus driver too.

ghostyslovesheets · 27/09/2023 16:09

This is all about violence against women by entitled men

The most dangerous time for any woman is when she decides to say NO - to turn them down., to end the relationship, to try and walk away

I to am so fucking tired of fighting this shit - it's so bloody depressing that nothing changes - we need more support for women and more education and punishment for these fucking men - like maybe the police start taking ALL offences seriously including harassment and social media threats

JoanThursday1972 · 27/09/2023 16:09

cocksstrideintheevening · 27/09/2023 16:07

Arrested in New Addington. There could be a massive fallout from this.

Show quote history

Wasn't it New Addington in the news where a young girl was murdered a few years ago and stuffed in a black bin bag or similar? I'd have to look the story up.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3035761/House-12-year-old-Tia-Sharpe-sexually-assaulted-murdered-body-hidden-loft-finally-wiped-map.html

EDIT: Found it.

OnedayIwillfeelfree · 27/09/2023 16:09

Bring back hanging. Or at the very least, a death row, like they have in America. 24 hours a day in lit cages, until the charge of manslaughter or murder is proved beyond doubt.

rainbowstardrops · 27/09/2023 16:09

Westfacing · 27/09/2023 15:16

So he left home with a machete and a bunch of flowers - prepared for either response from the poor girl.

That's exactly what I thought.
What the actual fuck is happening to society?

Things are clearly fundamentally wrong right now and I can't see it improving sadly.

pieinthesky10 · 27/09/2023 16:10

bookworm14 · Today 15:06

mathanxiety · Today 15:03

This isn't about Croydon.

It's about men mistaking women for property.
This. I am fucking sick of violent, entitled males seeing women and girls as their sexual property. As the mother of a daughter I just despair. How can we protect our girls from this?

THIS ^^

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