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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be profoundly saddened by this story

615 replies

Changeditforyou · 27/09/2023 13:28

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12565699/Police-rush-scene-incident-outside-busy-Croydon-shopping-centre.html

They tell us to help our daughters to protect themselves from male violence by thinking about what they wear, how much they drink, how late to stay out, where they go…
Are we supposed to add to the list ‘not rejecting a bunch of flowers in case you get stabbed to death’. This is horrifying.

I’m so so sick of male violence. It feels everywhere and inescapable. More luck than anything that your daughter isn’t the one. This poor girl and her family.

Teenage boy stabbed girl, 15, to death with 'a machete after argument'

Met Police officers rushed to Wellesley Road outside the Whitgift shopping centre. Paramedics battled to save the 15-year-old's life but she was pronounced dead at the scene.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12565699/Police-rush-scene-incident-outside-busy-Croydon-shopping-centre.html

OP posts:
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6
Westfacing · 27/09/2023 15:16

So he left home with a machete and a bunch of flowers - prepared for either response from the poor girl.

murasaki · 27/09/2023 15:17

@Matchingcollarandcuffs , me too re the helicopter, we're 15 mins walk away, and it was only later I saw the news which explained it. Horrific.

Male entitlement right there, that poor girl, not allowed to make her own choices. I feel so sorry for her family, and kudos to the bus driver who tried to help. A tragedy.

Motnight · 27/09/2023 15:17

MadamWhiteleigh · 27/09/2023 15:13

As the mother of a daughter I just despair. How can we protect our girls from this?

We can’t. There’s absolutely nothing we can do to prevent this happening to our daughters.

One of the most depressing posts I have ever read on Mumsnet.

I wish I could disagree with it.

murasaki · 27/09/2023 15:20

The saying 'men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them ' has played out here. devastating. She wouldn't have ever considered that this would be the response to a teenage dumping. And why should she have done.

bookworm14 · 27/09/2023 15:23

Westfacing · 27/09/2023 15:16

So he left home with a machete and a bunch of flowers - prepared for either response from the poor girl.

Jesus. Sad

NemoIsFound · 27/09/2023 15:29

I wonder if that boy was a follower of Andrew Tate. The incel culture has some frightening implications.

BCCoach · 27/09/2023 15:30

Needmorelego · 27/09/2023 14:00

I live near Croydon. This incident is depressing and terrifying.
Where the actual fuck did he get a machete from?
RIP to that poor girl.

Two seconds on google will find you plenty of online sources for machetes (which are not illegal) as well as banned weapons such as butterfly knives and flick knives. They are sold openly on alibaba and covertly on eBay, Facebook marketplace, Amazon, as well as from online shops both in the UK and abroad. Pay with paypal and it will be at your door in a couple of days.

peachescariad · 27/09/2023 15:30

This more than saddens me......I'm full of FUCKING RAGE and trying to stop myself crying at work. I hope that lad lives in haunted fear for the rest of his (hopefully short) life

Finteq · 27/09/2023 15:34

BrokenButNotFinished · 27/09/2023 14:32

Why do we need to know about her school fees?? Is there a narrative being peddled here that she thought herself too good for him (since it isn't clear he went to the same school)...?? It has to be her fault somehow. 🤨

I think it shows anyone can be affected.

It isn't just the poor kids knifing each other on the streets even if your kid goes to private school they could still be a victim of knife crime.

Needmorelego · 27/09/2023 15:35

@BCCoach god that's even more depressing.
What goes through someone's brain to have one with you. Why? Just why?
(sadly no answer to that)

CurlewKate · 27/09/2023 15:36

"Why do we need to know about her school fees?? Is there a narrative being peddled here that she thought herself too good for him"

I think the narrative is that she was a "nice girl" and therefore didn't deserve what happened to her.

EyesOnThePies · 27/09/2023 15:37

Needmorelego · 27/09/2023 15:35

@BCCoach god that's even more depressing.
What goes through someone's brain to have one with you. Why? Just why?
(sadly no answer to that)

No excuse for violent boys to have one, but they are a tool. My neighbour cuts his hedge with a machete. Makes a quick and very neat job of it, v skilfully.

Unsure754 · 27/09/2023 15:39

peachescariad · 27/09/2023 15:30

This more than saddens me......I'm full of FUCKING RAGE and trying to stop myself crying at work. I hope that lad lives in haunted fear for the rest of his (hopefully short) life

Yes, rage and tears here too.

How can this be?
Everyone except this child and her family will move on after a few platitudes about knife crime.
Why does no one call this what it is, male violence. What has to happen to (who has to be brutally murdered) to enable that conversation?

morbidd · 27/09/2023 15:39

Bet he's an incel. Scum.

LakeTiticaca · 27/09/2023 15:40

Take away the powers of the police, teachers and parents to mete out proper discipline, add in music stars/rappers, rapping about drugs, guns, take a pinch of tiktok, stir well with a big spoonful of weed and there you have it.

Brefugee · 27/09/2023 15:41

ginandtonicwithlimes · 27/09/2023 15:06

Men killing ex-partners/wives has been going on for many years. Nothing new.

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2 women a week

Needmorelego · 27/09/2023 15:42

@EyesOnThePies yes perfectly legal to own one if you are an adult. Apparently he was 17. Legally he couldn't even buy a regular kitchen knife from the supermarket yet still managed to get hold of a machete.

Brefugee · 27/09/2023 15:44

Sunshinenrain · 27/09/2023 14:27

Bloody hell!!

Why is it when males (usually men but in this case a boy) can’t have a female they resort to killing them!

Yes they broke up and she didn’t want to get back with him but she may have changed her mind in a few weeks time. Now he’s got no chance.

Too many males think that it’s either them or death.

The act is obviously awful but the thought process behind it is what truly terrifies me.

You either stay in a relationship with someone you don’t want to be with or you have to be killed.

What? WTF?

Blueatripedotter · 27/09/2023 15:45

I never thought I’d say this but I think it’s time to take some drastic action, because re-education is going to take decades. Curfews for men, tagging, who knows? I know it’s not them all but it’s a huge number of them.

ButterCrackers · 27/09/2023 15:45

EyesOnThePies · 27/09/2023 15:37

No excuse for violent boys to have one, but they are a tool. My neighbour cuts his hedge with a machete. Makes a quick and very neat job of it, v skilfully.

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Your neighbour hopefully doesn’t carry his knife as a weapon. Hopefully he puts it away safely and securely after he’s used it to cut the hedge. He’s not walking around town with his knife intending to kill.

Original poster
Changeditforyou · 27/09/2023 15:45

Westfacing · 27/09/2023 15:16

So he left home with a machete and a bunch of flowers - prepared for either response from the poor girl.

Jesus I hadn’t thought it of it like that, sends chills down my spine.
Doesn’t this actually perfectly sum up men’s attitude towards us though

OP posts:
hollyblueivy · 27/09/2023 15:46

So tragic and heartbreaking almost beyond belief.

That poor young girl and her family.

murasaki · 27/09/2023 15:46

I actually think the mention of the school, which, by the way, is being closed shortly, which is a shame for all the girls, the Whitgift foundation gives no shits for them, is a good thing in that it reminds people that you can't buy your way to safety. It can happen to you and your kid, however well off you are.

Glasgow treated this sort of thing as a public health crisis not a crime one, as I recall, and got good results from what they put in place. Maybe we need to learn from that.

Florenceatemycake · 27/09/2023 15:46

Comedycook · 27/09/2023 14:42

I don't think that's the narrative.... perhaps it's more the fact that a lot of people think this issue of youth violence only affects certain socio economic groups and this proves otherwise.

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Yes I agree.

I also don't think that this is a story about Croydon/South London and youth violence but more about entrenched misogyny in society.

jazzyfips · 27/09/2023 15:48

StopStartStop · 27/09/2023 15:00

It seems so. I'm now convinced we need to take action.

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Yeah, if you have sons, kill them now🙄